Tonight, I was sitting at a table outside the break room where I work and reading my book. Then, some of the guys I work with come by and before too long, I’m hearing all the kind of talk that I don’t really want to hear. However, I decide that maybe it’s time for me to have some adventure and make a bold stand and I simply pray that God will open up a way.
<> Before too long, one of the guys mentions going home and clicking some porn on his computer when he gets there. Now I’m sitting there reading my book and not even looking and I just say “Why?” I get the reply of “Because I like naked women.” I then say something along the lines of “I don’t think you’re going there because of that. I think you like pleasure more and the lady is the object you’re using.” It will have to be accepted that I have no word for word memory of all that was said.
I do remember pointing out that pornography is simply a way to get fake women instead of real women. I was told by one that he had a real woman at home to which I just said, “Oh? So she’s not good enough for you?” Yes. I do enjoy riling people up at times and I’m willing to step on some toes if it’ll make people move.
It then got to why should I speak if I have never had a woman? At that point, I said that I was proud to have maintained my virginity thus far. I’m not saying that I’ve been a saint in the area of women all my life. God knows I haven’t. I do believe though that I have a lot more respect today than I did in the past. I know what it’s like to have really been in love.
Eventually it got to also if we’ve all watched porn or not. Now this to me seems like a silly objection. I don’t watch internet porn and I’ve been blessed to never have a problem really with that. However, I also realize that I have to remain strong for in case I boast, I could fall.
Let’s suppose though that I was an addict. Does that mean that if I say “Pornography is immoral” that I am wrong? No. It means that either I am a hypocrite or that I realize the gravity of what I do and I am trying to change it. The rightness or wrongness of the action does not depend on the person’s participation in it.
I was surprised that I seemed to have a decorum of respect with those same guys later on throughout the day. I have made my stand and if I am asked again, I will be able to continue with it. I made sure also to not bring up my religion yet. Too often, people will immediately cast it aside as merely religious reasons. I don’t think those are mere reasons, but they do. That’s the point.
Part of me also hopes that it will come to that point and I might get even something like “How can you be stupid enough to believe that stuff?” Oh my. Never mess with an apologist along those lines. If there is anything that makes me come to life, it is theological and philosophical discussion, and having it with those who disagree is quite enjoyable.
Yet in all of this, I thought of my own prayer. My prayer that I have served for a number of years now and tried to live a good life and my one prayer that God will grant me someone to love like that. Yeah. There are other desires of course. There’s the desire to know the lady in the physically intimate way, but there is a great joy in simply knowing the lady.
I thought of praying that God would grant me the object of my desire, however, I thought that doesn’t even seem right. A lady is not an object. She is a person. I pray he grants me one I can love. Maybe I know her already. Maybe I don’t. I do pray that he grants her to come soon though. Being a single man is hard. I am one with strong desires. I have a friend who once said “If your girl-attractiveness was any higher, it would cause a massive implosion.” Perchance he’s right. That desire though is also rooted in purity and a love of who a lady is.
Thus, I pray he grants her. I want to be as pure as I can be and while I don’t necessarily want to rush, I hope that it is quickly. Proverbs tells us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and has favor from the Lord.
<> May I be a man with favor.
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