Month: May 2007

Last night, a friend stopped me as I was getting ready to sign off. He wanted me to come to a chat where he was going to be discussing with some atheists. Apologetics isn’t his strong point so he asked me to come. I went and another friend of mine came and what I saw there concerned me.

I enjoy the discussion, but I believe we were talking with several youths and it made me sense the need of the youth. The questions started with asking if life has any meaning at all. There were several hints of moral relativism and the arguments were quite lacking. I think of the one who wouldn’t accept the existence of Jesus because secular sources at his time didn’t talk about him. (They did later of course, but such was common for the ancients.)

I recall one especially who I had a strong heart for. This one said that either God doesn’t exist or if he does, he hates us all. I think that one is really taking it seriously. That one is looking at the issues of life and is coming to the conclusions. I do not think they are valid, but I am glad that he is at least thinking.

Yet such was his heart. It makes me realize why so many young people commit suicide. We have created a vacuum as it is and that vacuum is even in the church when we tend to reduce faith to feelings and pragmatism such that even one like myself at one point in time felt that same despair while in the church.

This is a huge problem and the church needs to deal with it but we aren’t. Too many of our young people are screaming that we are irrational and sadly, in many cases, they’re right. The church is often quite irrational. Please don’t misunderstand me. Christianity is not irrational. We can be though.

Yet they are hardly rational themselves. I think about the rational response squad which what I’ve seen of them hasn’t impressed me, but these are atheistic teenagers working together, and while I think their arguments are weak, they need to be answered and dealt with for they are souls.

Not only that, these youths we see today are the future of our nation? What will it mean when we have a nation with no respect for authority, no belief in a judgment to come, and no belief in absolute morality? What will it mean when postmodernism finally hits the highest offices and everything is a grab bag with no truth out there?

Yet if we do not do something, this is our future. This is where we are going. We are going to a world that is more and more hostile to our faith. Now while I agree some persecution could do us good, I would prefer that we have the good without the persecution simply because we’d all realize that our message is true.

Why? Our future is at stake and souls are dying. Do you need any more motivation? If so, think about this. Take your closest friend who you know is a non-Christian.

Now take your concept of Hell whether it be a burning furnace or not.

Your friend is in there.

No way out.

FOREVER!

Even if you believe that Hell doesn’t exist and God just destroys the wicked, then you still have something to think about. Your friend is gone forever.

Seriously, before you read any further, think about that. If you want to step away and come back later, that’s fine. This blog will still be here.  I’m even going to scroll way down before I continue in case you want to do that.

That is what you’re fighting for. That is a future. That is one soul. Now all of these souls are out there. If they win the day, it will only make our fight harder. If we win the day, then it will make evangelism far easier. Strength in numbers after all.

Friends. We need to do our jobs. We need to get cracking in evangelism. I love a good game, but this is the ultimate one and there is no reset button. Eternity is a long time to be wrong.

After church today, I went and joined my Sunday School group at our director’s house for lunch. It was a short meeting, but some of the guys invited me to join them for ultimate frisbee. For those who don’t know, I really have sports apathy. I don’t know a thing about sports hardly. I can watch Braves baseball, but that’s about it.

Well, I figured I’d go. I heard it was a bit wild though and there would probably be bloodshed, so I decided to stay out. Why? Well for those who don’t know, I have had scoliosis surgery so I have a steel rod on my spine and I don’t particularly want to risk anything happening to that.

So I walked around with my book in my hand and watched some of the other guys playing. For awhile, I felt like an outsider. All of the guys were out there playing and I was the only one with a Y chromosome that wasn’t on the field. It was as if this was a “guy thing” and I wasn’t participating.

Yet I thought about it some more of course. Who says that it’s the masculine thing to go out on a field and get dirty? I’m not saying it’s an unmasculine thing, but why can not the life of the mind be just as intellectual. These guys get rough and fight on the physical battleground. I do so on the intellectual. Is that not just as masculine?

I had to pause as I pondered that. A lot of our views on masculinity and femininity come from the culture. Women are told they must have a figure like X and weigh Y pounds and play with dolls and any number of things. Ladies. Don’t go to Cosmo or Glamour or any of these other magazines looking for true femininity. Still, tonight is for the guys.

We men are sadly seen in less than glamorous light in today’s society. We’re seen as ones who just belch and watch football and think about sex 24/7. We’re also supposed to be big and muscular and if you’re not, we’ll you’re just less than a guy. Unfortunately, that puts myself and a lot of other guys out.

Is this really the way it is? Let’s look at what Scripture says. When it speaks about a man in his household, it says he is t be the head and to love his wife and be willing to die for her.  He is to be the head of the household. None of those qualities above are mentioned. You can lead your household whether you’re the skinniest kid from your graduating class or Mr. Universe.

Of course, I’m not saying there’s anything unmasculine about such traits either. I’m simply saying that real masculinity lies not in the physical and your association with that, nor would I say it even lies in the intellectual and your association with that. I think you can find real men on both sides and some men are even on both sides entirely.

So tonight, I want our men to go out and find real masculinity. You won’t find it in the men’s magazines. I have nothing against exercise or building yourself up if you want to do that. Just don’t do so thinking it makes you more of a man. Real masculinity is found in reflecting the nature of God as you were meant to be. The man who does that is a real man.

A few days ago, I was reading 2 Kings 3. In this chapter, the king of Israel needs to defend himself against the king of Moab and he asks Jehoshaphat, the king of Judah, and he also asks the king of Edom to help him out. Jehoshaphat insists that they go see a prophet for help from the Lord before the fight and so, they go to Elisha.

One verse in this strikes me. The kings of Israel were not noticed for being saints. Chances are, neither were the kings of Edom. Jehoshaphat was one of the righteous kings of Judah though, and when they go to Elisha, Elisha says “Were it not for the fact that I respect Jehoshaphat, I would not speak to you.”

Think about that. This was God’s representative on Earth and he is saying that he respects Jehoshaphat. What does that mean? Have we ever considered what it would mean to be the kind of man that God respects? The most awesome being of all could respect us!

We know there are such people. In Hebrews 11, the writer speaks about the righteous people and says that God is not ashamed to be called their God. What would it mean if God was though? What would it say about me if God would prefer that I do not say I am a follower of his if such is even possible as he wants me to speak the truth?

I really think we should pause and consider this awesome wonder. It is possible to be a man (Or woman) that God respects. It doesn’t mean God bows down to you or anything. It means he does honor you though in that you reflect his image well. Rest assured, God will get the glory in the end, but he also honors you.

Fame among men is fleeting. Fame at the foot of God isn’t. Abraham and Moses weren’t too popular in their time among the people. They are the celebrities of Heaven though. When people talk about who they want to see in Heaven, these two names will normally show up on the list.

What about you? How are you living? Are you bringing shame to Christ or glory? Does God respect you or not? Live your life so he will.

I hate to disappoint all of you eschatology buffs, but this is not about eschatology. You might draw some parallels to the beast in Revelation, but he is not my focus tonight. In fact, this wasn’t the topic I was going to write on tonight until I was hooking up TVs at work today while the original Sandlot movie was on and there was a little kid watching it asking me questions.

If you remember that movie, it’s about a bunch of small boys who have a little team that plays in a sandlot. However, if a ball goes over the fence, it’s gone and no one retrieves it. Why? The beast lives back there. He’s this former junkyard dog who eats children and no one returns alive. This kid was watching it and asked “Why don’t they show the beast?”

I answered that that wasn’t in the nature of the beast. If you saw the beast for what it was, you wouldn’t be afraid of it. After all, later in the movie, one kid does jump over the fence to retrieve a ball and face the beast. He makes it back over, but the beast pursues him.

What happens at the end of the chase? They come back to the sandlot. The kid jumps over the fence, but the beast runs right through it and the poor fence can’t take it. It collapses onto the dog while the other kids watch and see it lying there in pain. One of them then goes and sees it hurting and tries to lift up the fence. He can’t do it alone, so the kid who was being chased comes and they lift it up and the dog runs off as soon as it’s free.

The dog comes to the first kid who tried to help him then and we see a scene of the kid looking at the dog in the face wondering what will happen next. Then the dog starts licking the kid playfully and runs off. They meet its owner and all ends well. At the end of the story, the dog is a kind of mascot watching the kids play ball.

What was the truth? Was the dog really this monstrous beast that ate 120 kids? No. He might as well have been though. The kids were afraid so they didn’t see the beast as it really was. When they did though, they saw that it was nothing to be afraid of and was actually a friend.

This is the way fear is for us. I went on a helicopter ride with my Dad Wednesday for his birthday. I’d never flown on one so I was quite nervous up until the point the chopper took off. I could feel my stomach turning and the anxiety creeping in and then something happened that destroyed all my fear.

The chopper took off.

Once I was flying, I saw that it was nothing and was able to enjoy myself. Why? Because I saw it as it was and not as I imagined it to be. Rest assured, your imagination can be a powerful tool for good or for evil. The point is not to eliminate emotion and imagination but to control them.

Peter Kreeft says we should view death this was where eventually, death is a lover. What was once a threat is gone. It is now what delivers us into the arms of Christ. Isn’t this what Paul says in quoting Hosea? He asks where the victory and sting of death is. They are gone! Why? We see death for what it is. Paul could look at it and say “To die is gain!” Who before Christ could really say that?

What’s the solution then? See the Beasts in your life for what it is. Yeah. Friends who knows me know I need to apply this myself. It’s something I’m working on. You pray for me that I can do so as I pray for you.

Together, we’ll overcome our beasts and maybe just like the kids in the sandlot, we’ll find in the end they were friends.

I was pondering this as I pulled into my place tonight. I am really a stoic person in many ways. I find that my emotions are unruly and often seem to control me, but yet, I also find that I can hide them well and I am not very expressive of my emotions. I’m not a psychologist. Maybe the two go together. I can’t say.

I am a low-key individual with my emotions, except perhaps for when close friends are around. At a time in my life when I was in love with a lady for instance, no one around me knew about it. When I lost that love, hardly anyone knew about that as well. Oh with sadness, they can sometimes tell something’s wrong, but I’m not the type to really talk about it.

What is my point in this? My point is that if I’m low-key, I’m probably not alone and I think this has some relevance to the Christian life. I think there are some Christians that are very expressive in their emotions. God bless them. Some of these are what we call I-type personalities that can stop everyone on the street and say “Do you know Jesus?”

My only concern is that too often, I think this has been taken to be the way Christianity is meant to be for everyone.  My position is that it isn’t. It’s also my position that my personality style is not the way for everyone as well. We are trying to draw people to a savior and not a personality type after all.

My concern is that our love for Jesus will often be based on our feelings. Friends. If our level is based on our feelings, I would have to conclude that I don’t have much love. However, I thought about asking my friends “Do you think I love Jesus?” and I really think most of them would say “Of course!”

I can often approach my faith quite numb. In fact, if anything, with my negative outlook, my feelings are usually negative until I reach the point where I just burst on a good friend who’s ready to hear it all, and might I say quite literally that I thank God that I have friends like that and I think we all need them.

There are times that I come to my computer here even and I am angry with God for some reason. I may be depressed over circumstances in my life and wondering where he is and why he’s letting them happen. What do I do? I serve. What more can I do? I have to learn to not give in to my feelings.

This is something hard for all of us, and I think especially many of us analytical types. When I get a feeling, I tend to have to analyze it to the core. This means one day, I can be on top of the world and unstoppable and everything’s going great, but then the next day “Woe is me. The world is all wrong.” What’s changed? One thing only. My perspective.

Our feelings serve to tell us about our emotional states. I don’t think they serve to tell us about the external world. Too often we do a sort of transference where we take our feelings and assume everyone else feels the same way about us. It’s easy to fall into this trap.

The stoics at this point would say to step back and look at reality. That’s not easy for a lot of us, but I think if we don’t do so, we will be caught by unruly emotions. We are to control our emotions and not vice-versa. Emotions must be subject to reason. We are not creatures of instinct after all.

Why do I write this tonight? So you can understand me? That’s got to be some of it. Also though, I suspect many of you are like this and wondering “Do I really love Jesus?” I’d say you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have to ask such a question. Dear friend. Please take comfort and realize that while you don’t understand it, God made you that personality type for a reason. Trust him.

I’ve said several times before that I was heavily into the gaming industry. I still enjoy it, but not as much as I used to. However, I have been thinking about the concept of parties in games. Now some might be mistaking this word’s meaning like I did the first time I saw it used this way, which was when reading about forming a party in Ultima 3.

I was thinking about the party that one can usually think about where you sing “Happy Birthday” or some other celebration of that sort. The party in this case refers to a group of individuals united in the cause of an adventure. The party would have to work together to survive.

What does this have to do with the faith? I think, everything. We as Christians are relational in nature and we know that all people are to a degree as we are made in the image of the God who is relational in himself. This doesn’t mean everyone is a socialite. I am an introvert definitely and I prefer being alone, but we all need company. Aristotle valued friendship highly for a reason.

There is no place in Christianity for Lone Ranger Christians. No one is to fight this battle alone. Oh you might fight some battles by yourself partially, but you are never fighting alone. In fact, even if it is supposedly just you, there are people engaged in prayer all around you that are working with you.

This is also what is going on in Hebrews. Hebrews 11 lists a Hall of Fame of heroes of the faith. All of these were people that the readers would look up to. The writer then takes us on in Hebrews 12 to say that we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. Who are those witnesses? The very heroes that he was just mentioning.

We never stand alone then. I will say though that when we are in teams, we do need to learn to work together. In apologetics, I don’t touch science usually. If I have to, I will, but there are others more suited to that. I belong to an apologetics organization around here that specializes in science. It’s fine with me. They know I specialize in theology and philosophy and it makes a beautiful marriage.

If you try to master everything, it will only put a huge burden on you. I believe you should have the basics at least in other areas, but choose one that you really want to emphasize in and go for that. There are some people that I will never reach their skill level in their area, but it’s fine. We build each other up. Where I am lacking, they step in. Where they are lacking, I step in.

My main point though? You’re never alone. You are with the party and you are on the cause. You are out there to spread the truth to the world. Why not work with your teammates? Why not build each other up and follow all the “one another” passages in the epistles?

It will make reaching your goal easier, and a lot more enjoyable.

Two teens were arrested today in Ausrtalia for murder. The shocking aspect of this story though is that these girls did this murder as an experiment. They were wanting to see if they would feel guilty if they murdered someone. In describing the act, they said that murdering this other girl “felt right.”

The only kind of responses I’ve received from the moral relativists is that this kind of thing happens. No. This kind of thing does not happen. A happening is more like a rain shower one day. The rain comes and the rain goes. What are we to say? Well, it’s life. People get murdered. No big deal.

Murder has existed before, but I think these girls have managed to show the bankruptcy of moral relativism. If all morality is to be reduced to feelings and then these feelings don’t say murder is wrong, well, we can’t really say murder is wrong. I have a friend who said that if you even question that you would feel bad about murdering someone, you should probably seek some treatment. He’s entirely right.

This is the bankruptcy of our world today. We have reached the point of what J. Budziszewski speaks about. We have to teach people the things they really know first. Why? Because some people have such little moral sense as to not even realize that murder is wrong and that human life is not to be treated that way.

Murder does evoke feelings in us, but friends, we don’t need those feelings to know that murder is wrong. We all know it is and I would like to see someone come forward who is ready to defend murder. (One wonders how quickly that person would defend murder if they knew a mafia hit man had their spouse or child or even themselves in their sights.)

The problem also is that you can logically wind up at this point from moral relativism. I see it as a perfect outworking even. On the other hand, someone take the saying of “Love God” and “Love your neighbor” and tell me how you wind up at murdering your neighbor.

Now someone will point to the Crusades or the Inquisition. Not good enough though. You need to tell me how you logically arrive at the Crusades or Inquisition from the teachings of Christ. You don’t. You get there when those teachings are misused. This is not to say I’m a pacifist, but I don’t believe all the wars involved are what we’d call “Just Wars.”

Friends. These two teenage girls could have lived near you. There could be more in your area. What are we to do? We need to return to morality. Some things are right. Some things are wrong. How many more need to die before we realize the consequences of moral relativism?

I’ve been reading this book called Superheroes and Philosophy. I really like it and it has got me thinking about my growing up. I wasn’t big into the superhero craze. I knew the basics. I enjoyed watching episodes of the old Batman series that starred Adam West. I went to see the Batman movies. I watched the Ninja Turtles and the Power Rangers. Smallville was my first major craze I’d say.

I paid more attention to video games. Video games don’t really have superheroes unless they’re made off of a movie, TV show, or comic book. Instead, they’re just accounts of ordinary people that are doing super things. I once preached in a sermon that God isn’t looking for supermen. He’s looking for men who are super.

Yet I grew up with this dream that has been with me for a long time. I think many people sadly give up on this dream when they enter the work force or get married or make some major change. I hear people often talk about this pipe dream they had when they were kids and yet somehow, they let it die.

That is the dream to change the world.

A lot of us just think that the world is such a big place and what can we do? I don’t know. But can’t we do something? How many of us want to sit around and watch the world go the way it is? Especially considering that we hold the gospel. Do we really believe that the truth of Christ has the power to change the world?

I often see apologetics in this light. Peter Kreeft has said that apologetics is the closest one comes to saving the world. What does he mean? He means that we are the defenders of truth if we are apologists. If the truth is lost, then the world is lost with it. To fight for the truth is to save the world.

Thus, who am I? I’m one of the heroes in the story. I’m one of the ones out there fighting the fight. Someone is caught in sin or the Jehovah’s Witnesses are making rounds or someone at work is depressed or there is an atheist questioning the existence of God. The song plays in my head then of “Save Me.” This is time for those of us who know the truth to stand up.

Of course, I also realize my limitations. Take the venue of science for instance. I am not a specialist in scientific apologists and there are many atheists who could take me easily in that field. I realize that and I realize that I have allies that are. In the same vein, many of them come to me with philosophical difficulties. We all have to work together.

Maybe it’s not your forte to do apologetics. I have several friends who don’t go into that field, but they have been an immense help in other ways. When I have needed some encouragement because the battle is hard, and so many times it is, then they have been there. It’s not that the questions are necessarily difficult. It’s just that it can often be tedious and the energy one exerts in this can be exhausting. They are there. When my confidence is low, they pick me up.

If I and my apologist friends are the warriors on the front line, these are the clerics in the back, and they are essential. David said in 1 Samuel that those who stayed and guarded the camp deserved as much reward as those who went and fought.  He’s right. Those who are helping those of us out on the front lines are just as much participating in the fight and deserve just as much a reward.

If only this dream would catch fire in the church. Every hero has a secret identity. We do as well. Our identity though is to be revealed. We are to remove this cover and show that we are the vessels of God. We are the ones that he is dwelling in. We are the reflection of Christ on Earth.

Go out now. Recover that dream! Save the world!

When I was in High School and early college, I was in a Bible Study group for men my age. I remember when we were going through the Bible and we got to the Ten Commandments. We got to the fifth commandment of “Honor your father and mother.” Our leader asked us if our father or mother did anything that really annoyed us that made this commandment hard to follow.

This is something odd that has never left me. Every guy just started talking except every single thing that was said was said about mothers. My comment was that my mother would surgically glue herself to me if it was possible to which someone said, “Wow. That’d make for an awkward honeymoon.”

Ah! Mothers! Fortunately, my Mom has come to accept that I’ve become my own person more than she did then. She’s still got a way’s to go, but she’s more accepting today. Despite all that we said about our mothers, I have no doubt most of the guys have the same attitude that I do. We sure do love our mothers.

When Father’s Day comes around or my Dad’s birthday, I can usually spend about ten minutes and I know what I’m getting him. Mother’s Day? No way. I’ll spend hours at the mall for Mother’s Day and her birthday just trying to find a perfect gift. When I lived at home, I used to make it a practice of every now and then when I stopped to get gas, getting one of those little roses they have at gas stations and bringing it home for my Mom.

Does she absolutely drive me crazy sometimes still? You bet! There are times I just want to scream after talking to my mother. Still, I am always there to defend her if need be and I will not stop looking for a gift for her until I find the one that I think is perfect and I am willing to spend more on her than on most other people.

My mother works at a school and there was a time that a photographer came and made a rude comment about my mother. When his boss spoke to my mother he said, “Your husband and son have already called.” No one was going to say something negative about my mother and get away with it.

So today, I thought about what a blessing it is to have a mother. I thought about how there was a time when I was not and lo and behold, suddenly I was. That I began my existence as a single cell and for nine months, my mother carried me around inside of her until I came out to see the world.

It is through the guidance of my mother that I became who I was today. Of course, my Dad was involved, but today is to honor mothers. My mother was the nurturer mainly. When I was in the hospital for back surgery, she was the one that was by my bed making sure I was okay.

It sure is a blessing to have a mother. My mother has also encouraged me in the path that I have taken. I am an intellectual. I don’t mean this as negative about my mother, but she isn’t. She’s a simple lady who prefers watching HGTV (Which I don’t see how she stays awake) and reading books about topics like Amish life that are fictional.

Thus, I can’t really discuss philosophy and theology with her. I wouldn’t try to explain the inner dynamics of the Trinity. However, when I’ve preached, she’s often been the one that’s come forward at the end of the sermon with tears in her eyes. My mother is an awesome lady.

So today, I am thankful for Mother’s Day and that I have a Mom to celebrate it. Mom. If you ever read this, you know you drive me crazy and I still think you’re over-protective at times, but I do love you and I would do anything I could for you.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

Now I hope most of you reading this title are saying “Well of course it is!” However, I ask the question not because I want the intellectual answer, but because I want the personal answer. I want to know what you think the truth is and then have you ask yourself if you live like that truth applies.

I’m one of those people that struggles with doubt a lot not so much in the area of my faith, but in the area of myself. I look at myself and wish I had more confidence in my own abilities, which is something my friends tend to know about me. I have said I have an inferiority complex the size of Texas and that I’m my own worst critic.

I’ve been thinking lately though that while I should have confidence in myself, I must be honest and realize that some doubt would be that of the message. It goes naturally because if you are hard on yourself, then in those times when you are, it is easy to be hard on what you believe as well.

I’ve thought back to the first sermon I ever preached at my current church. I preached on the topic of revolution. I don’t really like the word revival. It seems to imply to me that the church has died, and I refuse to accept that it has. Instead, I prefer to say “revolution.” I don’t mean the revolution where we take up physical arms, but the one where we take up intellectual and spiritual arms.

I have looked at Christianity and what it teaches and seen that I don’t see that happening. I conclude then that either Christianity is false or that we’re not living it. As an apologist, you can be sure that the one that I opt for is that we’re not living it. Why would we not be?

The honest answer is that we don’t really believe it as much as we say we do. We say that trust in Christ is the best way to live, but so many times, our lives deny that. We say that we should love our neighbor as ourselves, but are we really doing that when we go about our day?

A large part also is that the church today doesn’t even know what it believes. Next time you’re in the middle of singing a great hymn at church, be quiet. Really. Look at the words. Ask yourself, “Do I really believe these words I’m singing?” When you sing “It is well with my soul,” do you really believe that whatever comes your way, it will be well with your soul? (Look up the history of that song also to find out what circumstances led to its being written.)

Are you aware of how many Christians are ignorant about doctrines like the Trinity? To be blunt, how many Christians are just plain ignorant? You know how many people reject the faith because Christians are ignorant of it and can’t answer their questions. It doesn’t just hurt the lost. It hurts the Christians. The deeper you go into your faith, the more real it can become and the more you can enjoy it. Would you treat your spouse like you treat your faith? “Honey. I know all about you I want to know. There’s no need to tell me any more. Let’s just keep it at this level.” Nonsense!

It has been said that if Jesus was walking beside us one day, we’d all live different lives. Guess what. HE IS! Of course, you can’t see him, but he has said that he will be with us always, even unto the end of the age. He is there right now. God is here with us and is watching everything we do and every thought we think.

Why do we doubt him? It could be we don’t really live like he’s real. We’re professing Christians often and practicing atheists. We too often live like there is no God or worse, that we want to be God. Isn’t this what every sin is? Isn’t it saying “You don’t know what’s best for me God. I know what’s best for me.” In saying such, we are claiming to be greater than God. How dare we make such a claim!

What about the problem of evil? What do we do when we treat a situation as if God can’t handle it somehow that it will wind up with a happy ending even if it can involve some pain? We are living like atheists when we do such and yes, I am including myself within this number.

If only we would go through each day living with the reality that God is on the throne. Would we not be more confident knowing we are loved by the greatest of all and are thus capable? Would we not be secure knowing that he can handle any problem that comes our way? Would we not live lives of holiness knowing that he is the judge on the last day? Of course we’re saved, but do you really want to wrong the one you love? (Or profess to love.)

It all comes down to you and I and our response to the questions.

Is Christianity true?

If you said no, then I hope you’ll let me know and we can discuss it. If you said yes, then I have another question.

Why aren’t you living your life accordingly?