Month: February 2008

Last night, I had a friend up with me and my roommate and he told me about a debate he’d heard about that was going to be online on the resurrection. We thought we’d tune in as we knew one of the debaters. Friends. I hate to say it, but I really was disappointed. My friend and roommate would be able to tell you about my steaming over here.

So I figured I’d give some advice as one who has done debates before.

First off, protocol. If you are going to be there at a certain time, make absolutely certain you are there at that time. Now I understand things can happen. If some crisis comes up, get in touch with the opponent or the moderator of the debate and let them clearly know what has happened and say “I’ll be late” or say “Can we reschedule?”

Moderators are an important point. Absolutely never do a public debate without moderators. I could not tell what was going on half of the time when I was listening to this. Neither side was really listening to the other and the non-Christian side was using strong profanity.

That gets us to listening. Do it. In the debate, the Christian wanted to stick with Habermas’s minimal facts approach. I agree with the approach, but I do not think it was good for this person as their presuppositions would not allow that to be seen as valid. The opponent told the Christian that the Christian wasn’t listening. On this, the opponent was right.

Friends. It must be realized there is no one approach that will work on every atheist, non-Christian, pagan, etc. If the minimal facts did it, well I’d say buy a plane and fly over every city broadcasting them out of huge speakers. You could convert New York City overnight. Unfortunately, it’s not like that.

I told the Christian this later on. Don’t get me wrong on this. I think this guy has a good heart and he does have enough knowledge I think to deal with a number of skeptics. This was one though I don’t think he was adequately prepared for. I had to say that while I disagreed with the other side, I think they presented their case better.

Make sure that you also word things right. The Christian used the term “Minimal facts” in the debate. I believe in Habermas’s minimal facts. They’re a great tool. I’ve used them. I just would not say “Minimal facts.” Why? Because if your opponent is familiar with the work, he’d just be saying “We have a Habermas parrot here.” If he’s read Habermas and wasn’t convinced, why should he be when you parrot it back?

If you’re using them also, go through them one at a time. Don’t assume your opponent will accept everything. You must start where they are. If they are a Christ-myther for instance, you need to start from there. Demonstrate that Christ existed. It is one step at a time to get someone to come to the cross.

Also, if you are going to do a debate, commit yourself to it. Make sure there is nothing else going on that will interrupt you. Both debaters made this mistake. We as Christians can’t afford to do anything to make our side look less than prepared in a debate. Now we won’t know everything, but we should be sure we know enough.

Friends. These aren’t just debates to be won. There are onlookers each time. You never know how eternity might be different because of what you said in a public area. Be prepared.

Hello loyal readers. (And all new readers!) It’s late at night here. There are some things to respond to and those will wait for a night when I can devote more time to them. I’ve had company up tonight and we had some good discussions on theistic topics after listening to a debate on the resurrection in a chat room.

Let’s say, I wasn’t pleased with it.

However, I had a friend write in with some disagreements with last night’s blog. The point seemed to be that I applied morality only to this life. Also, should I not be moral anyway? If there is no Christ, then do I not have reasons to be moral in my life? These are important questions that need to be answered.

The first one is the simplest one. Yes. I did apply morality only to this life. There are eternal consequences for our actions, I agree, but we won’t have the same problems in eternity. In the afterlife, we would have received the beatific vision and from that point on, doing that which is good will not be a problem.

Our question though of whether morality is relative or absolute does apply to this life and the current debate on moral relativism. There are no moral relativists in Heaven. (For that matter, there are no moral relativists in Hell either.) I also think we should realize that while morality is a fine argument for God’s existence, it is not God himself. The finger is good for pointing to the moon but woe to him who mistakes the finger for the moon.

Now for the second question.

My point was that if morality is an illusion, why follow it? It is atheism vs. theism. If there is no such thing as morality, why believe that there is?  This is what I desire to see. I desire to see the atheist live out the worldview of moral relativism consistently. When someone cuts him off in traffic, realize that no one has violated a moral standard. The other person has acted on his own morality and there is no standard by which to condemn it.

Yet this goes further. We cannot say raping a girl is wrong, but we cannot say it is good. It just is. We cannot say saving a drowning child is good. We cannot say it is bad either. It just is. If you have any feelings of guilt, you need to realize those aren’t the way reality is. If you have any feelings of having done the right thing, that’s not the way reality actually is either. That’s simply the delusion you need to expunge.

I want the moral relativist to live in a world without blame or praise. I want them to live in a world without good or evil. I want them to live in a world without ought or ought nots. I want them to live in a world without should and should nots. I want them to live in this world consistently. As Kreeft would say, for all their preaching of this gospel, you think they’d try to live it.

Let’s also remember that we can’t use the utilitarian ethic here. We cannot say what produces the best results. That implies goodness or badness in the results. We have no standard by which to measure. The results are just like the actions. They simply are and we live with them.

I contend that this isn’t possible. God has spoken. The moral law is clear on many issues. If you really have any doubt as to whether murder is wrong, you do not need an argument. You need therapy.

I hope this clears things up. I choose to live the way I believe the world is. There is a God and I am accountable to him.

Some of you upon reading this blog title are probably tempted to answer in a very sarcastic way. (Makes note to find more places to hide the bodies.) However, that is not the point of the blog tonight. It isn’t so much about me as it is about morality. The claim has been made to me recently that if Christianity was not true, would I go and do such things as rape, murder, etc.

My honest answer is, why not? Why? Because I believe that Christ is my God and thus the basis for morality. If there is no God, there is no morality. Now you may speak of another God out there, but if he’s out there, he doesn’t really care about us as he has never revealed himself to us. It can’t be the God of Judaism for the prophecies had to be fulfilled by now.

Please keep in mind as I say this that I am not saying there is no morality in systems outside of Christianity. An atheist can be a moral person even. Why? Because the Christian claim is that the natural law of morality has always been around. Paul says in Romans 2 that the law is written on our hearts. We all know that murder is wrong and if someone claims to know otherwise, they don’t need an argument. They need a psychiatrist.

However, to say that I would live the same life as I do now is to deny the power of Christ. It is because of Christ that I don’t treat that female the way I would like to. It’s because of Christ that I don’t punch out that jerk that I meet like I would like to. It’s because of Christ that I don’t cut corners to make an extra buck like I would like to.

Now let us suppose that I saw this morality was an illusion. If it was, then why should I even follow it any more? Once I see that the emperor has no clothes, there is no reason to pay attention any more. If there is nothing objectively moral, then the idea of being a good or bad person is gone. There is no good or bad. There is only indifference. I can treat the lady like a lady or I can rape her. The difference is only in the action and effect. There is no difference in morality.

Was I a bad person before Christ? Well, I wouldn’t deny I was a fallen sinner, but I grew up in a Christian home and I was never a trouble-making kid. All in all, I was a good child. However, now that I know the truth about what I believe and about morality that I didn’t know earlier, if I saw that morality to be false, then I see no reason to follow it.

Because of Christ, at my heart, I see who I really am. I see then also my need for him. I see more of my sinfulness every day and in turn, I should see more grace. Sometimes though, the grace is harder for me to realize and that is a point I am pondering and will write on another day when I get my thoughts clearer.

For now though, I will stick with this truth. At heart, I need Christ to live the life I ought to live. As I submit to the transforming power he gives, I will recognize my fallenness more and his glory and love all the more.

A reply asked why couldn’t it be more that the creation reveals God rather than just reflects him. I really like something like this as it shows me the person who makes this statement is thinking, and I hope you all know by now that I like to see Christians thinking. It’s something we need to take up again.

I think my friend has an excellent point. I like to use the word reflect though because of thinking about how God looks at us and how he wants to look at us and when he sees us, he sees nothing that contradicts his holiness. There have been some scholars who speculate, and it could well be the case, that Christian was first an insulting title meaning the people were little Christs. Their lives were to show him so well walking around that they were his mirrors.

There is only one area I take issue with. That is in saying that God creates order and structure. I believe these are in God himself. God is not chaotic. God is a unity of diverse persons. There is an order in the Godhead as the Son is begotten of the Father and the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son.

I think my friend would agree that what is revealed is that which is in the nature of God though. This would include beauty. Now someone might say that beauty is physical. Many times, it is, but that physical aspect points to a concept beyond itself, just as the words of a poem point beyond them to what they describe.

As an example, suppose I take a lady. The skin of a lady is simply a combination of molecules which we would probably not consider beautiful in themselves. (Although they could be. I haven’t seen under a microscope yet.) However, there is a combination of unity and symmetry and proportion that comes together in the body of a lady that makes all of those molecules suddenly attractive to a guy.

In the same way, while we cannot see God, we can see him expressed in the physical world and the physical world points to a greater reality beyond itself. It points to the reality of the God who is there. God is the final cause of all that is here. All of it speaks of him. The Psalmist said that the Heavens declare his glory. (Psalm 19:1) I have no doubt that this would include the Earth as well.

I appreciate what my friend said. I would contend that the main reason I say reflect is because I think it does entail revealing as well and also, when it comes to me, it reminds me that when I look at my own life, that I am supposed to be one that reflects Christ. In so doing, hopefully I reveal him to a lost world.

Last night, I’m watching Smallville seeing as I have time late at night and I didn’t have to work this morning. It’s the episode called Justice that is about the Justice League being in Smallville to deal with a plan of Lex Luthor’s. They’re not the Justice League by name yet, but they are a team of superheroes trying to make a difference. At the end, all the other friends go out on another assignment while Clark stays behind to deal with something else first. His good friend Chloe though says to him “You have some amazing friends Clark Kent.” (So many of us were hoping she’d say super.)

Now that’s a line that’ll stick. I knew then and there that I had the blog for tonight already set and indeed, I do. I do plan to write on the comment left on my blog from last night as it’s an important one and the lady who made it I know and I find her to be one who is quite insightful and wise.

I don’t know your response to me. You might be a regular reader who enjoys my blogs. You might be a first-time reader. You might be a skeptic who wants to strangle me. I have no idea. If you’re in category 2, welcome aboard. I hope you join the first category. If you’re in one, I hope you stay there. If you’re in three, state your case and I hope you can arrive in one.

I write my blogs alone. They’re not edited or proofread or anything like that. The content comes from my own studies and my own thoughts and listening to other people as well be it in personal conversation or in written format such as a book or an article on the internet.

However, what I do in ministry with even the ability to keep up a nightly blog is not me. That is in large part due to my friends. I would like to say that along with Clark Kent, I have some amazing friends. Now I have to write about my friends because I do not know you and I don’t know your friends like you do.

Readers also know a good friend of mine died recently. Another friend in response has made it a point to call me a friend when he speaks to me seeing as he doesn’t know if he will get that chance again. I like that approach. Thus, this is also my way of saying thanks to several friends. I can’t get to everyone obviously, but without them all past and present, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

My roommate is first on my list. This is a guy who puts up with me regularly and isn’t related to me, which is proof that miracles do happen. This is a guy who like me, enjoys sleeping in, but when I had trouble with neighbors here one time and had my car damaged and parking situations going on which I won’t go into detail here, this is the guy who got up early in the morning, even before I did, and went out and got photographs for proof of my case. This is the guy who’s spent his time working on my computer to keep it running smoothly and has helped me with learning the fine art of cooking.

And those are just things done in the past few months. He would also know my great thanks to him for helping me with an incident in my life within the couple of years when I was hit with great anxiety suddenly and how he talked me through it. For a friend like this, I am grateful and when I think about it, I wonder why God blessed me with such a good one.

I think of my friend in Florida who got married in June. I think of the adventures we shared when we both lived in our old city and how he made me feel comfortable with myself in so many ways. I think about how his Dad was in the hospital and we drove there together at 6 in the morning to see him. (Remember, I like to sleep in.) I think of how my mother saw us both later in my room collapsed. I think of how when a church didn’t want me to teach a cults class because I hadn’t been through a training seminar that he exploded on them. I miss him still, but I know he’s still a friend.

I think of my old counselor who first got me to the point where I could move out on my own and then to the point where I was ready to move to another state. I still speak to him regularly and he’s very pleased with my progress here. One of the greatest joys in life is someone who thinks you can do more than you think you can do.

I think of a friend of mine with a gift of counseling. I used to see just a humorous side to him, but those days are gone and past. This friend is more serious than I gave him credit for. I hope he continues down the path of touching people with his heart of laughter, for I think there is no greater joy for him in relationships with other people than to see them smile.

I think of another friend of mine who has been like a mother figure to me. She’s hugged me when I needed it and whacked me when I needed it. She’s made it a point that she won’t let me or any friend speak bad about themselves. With me, that’s a full-time task, but she does it. She’s always been supportive of me and is already talking about the great things she expects to see me do. A friend like this is essential.

I think of the friend who came to visit me for a week in my old city and hung out at my place. It was my first real encounter with the roommate experience. This friend and I have shared a number of good conversations and have similar interests. I expect him to do great things some day as well.

I think of another one who is a big Smallville fan as well who I’ve had a number of conversations with. While we chat about Smallville and girls often, we do as well get into some great discussions on philosophical and theological matters. I trace one of the nicest compliments I ever got back to him.

There are so many more. I could tell you about the new people I’ve just met at the Seminary, including the staff, who are already showing an interest in me and that means so much. These are some of the people I’ve seen as heroes for so many years and now, I get to be with them on a regular basis and it’s excellent that while I knew them, now they know me as well, and I get to be blessed by hearing their wisdom in person.

I could talk about the people at my new church and my old church. My old church is the one that supported my move and were sorry to see me go, but helped anyway in taking up a love offering for me. My new church is always pleased to see me and when we have fellowship time during the service and shake hands, I know people are glad to see me. When the pastor greets me, I know he’s not just being courteous. He really likes to see me.

No. I may not have super speed like Clark Kent. I may not have Heat vision or X-Ray vision or ice breath or super strength or invulnerability or super hearing, but I remember an old quote of his when his powers got leeched. The person who got his powers didn’t get his best gifts. Those are his Mom and Dad. I do have one great gift Clark Kent has as well. I have amazing friends. I’m thankful for them.

Now it’s your turn. Go find those amazing friends and tell them you’re thankful.

I’ve been working on a research paper for class on the aesthetics of Thomas Aquinas. (For those who might not know the term, aesthetics refers to that which is considered beautiful.) For Aquinas and for many others in the Christian tradition, beauty is objective. Readers of my blog have known for a long time that I contend for this.

The work right now I’m reading is “The Sense of Beauty” by George Santayana. I find this one fascinating because he has such interesting ideas. However, I disagree with nearly everyone of them. It’s brought me closer into knowing what it is that I really believe and the fallacies in the thinking of those on the other side.

On page sixteen of the book, he says this:

“So that for the existence of good in any form it is not merely consciousness but emotional consciousness that is needed. Observation will not do, appreciation is required.”

What I take him to be saying is that if we weren’t here, there would be nothing beautiful. However, we have to be here and we have to have wills because beauty resides in appreciation. If we do not have an emotional response to what we are seeing, can we truly say it’s beautiful?

However, I read that and thought immediately that that was the fallacy I’d written about in Thoughts and Feelings to which I will from now on call it the Feelings Fallacy. Is it possible to appreciate beauty without having an emotional response to it? My response is that this is indefinitely so.

I understand there is another work on beauty out there from the Christian perspective. I am working on getting it from the library, for the last student who had it has yet to turn it in and it was due more than seven months ago. The writer though says that if we were in an art museum and the lights went out and we couldn’t see the paintings, they would lose some beauty due to our not being able to perceive them.

I couldn’t disagree more. All of this makes beauty subjective.

Our problem I think lies in our thinking that we are the observers of the beauty alone and the ones that determine if it is or is not beautiful. Can we remember that there is an eternal viewer? It’s God. If he says something is beautiful, well it’s beautiful. If he says it isn’t, then who are we to say it is?

What is beautiful? That which reflects him in some way. Don’t think though that I have this totally figured out yet. I’m still pondering this more and more and trying to get at what beauty really is. I don’t think it’s clear enough to just say it reflects him, but I think that’s definitely a great place to start.

Let’s also remember something else. God is impassible. He does not react to things. He proacts to everything. He knows what you need even before you ask him. He has the answer to your prayer before you pray. Why pray then? Because you wouldn’t get the answer if you did not. He is teaching you how important it is for you to communicate with him and rely on him.

Thus, God sees all beauty and does not have emotions over it. Does this mean he doesn’t care about it? No. It’s a much deeper care. It is like the care a husband and wife can have after several years when the emotions have died down. Emotion is the explosion that starts a relationship off.

In the same way, we can see beauty and have no emotional response to it even though we are aware it is beautiful. Consider if you are sick or tired or both. You can see something beautiful and know it is and just not have a response. In fact, you could wish that you did have a response. (Most of my problems I think consist of not having emotions I wish I did or having emotions I wish I didn’t.)

I believe though this is something we have to get past. We have to get rid of this idea that all beauty is an emotional response. It isn’t. Emotions can be a response to beauty, but they don’t have to be. Many people can respond in many different ways due to psychology or genetics.

I shall continue reading this book as it is quite enjoyable still. Hopefully in the near future, I will have even more to say on beauty. Hopefully though, you’ve already begun thinking about it.

One of my favorite jokes you can find on the internet is the difference between men’s english and women’s english. Some of the ones for men are quite revealing and I think reveal a basic truth about attraction.

“Do you want to go to a movie?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“Can I take you out to dinner?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“Can I call you sometime?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“May I have this dance?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you. “What’s wrong?” = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
“I’m bored.” = Do you want to have sex?
“I love you.” = Let’s have sex now.
“I love you, too.” = Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now! “Let’s talk.” = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me.
“Will you marry me?” = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

Funny indeed, but I think hitting a key point. For all guys, this is where attraction starts. This is our desire to know the other person.  Now I have been writing about this attraction lately. I say this at the start though because we often get this idea that guys aren’t supposed to think like that. We’re supposed to be pure of heart entirely.

Guys. You can be pure of heart though and think about sex. In fact, God gave you that desire. All he asks is that you control it till its proper time.

This is also something we should realize as men. The beauty of the female is part of God’s way of telling us that he loves us. There is no accident in creation. God created the female form a specific way for a reason. He created it to point to him but he also made it a way that we would desire it and enjoy it. A man is meant to enjoy the body of the female because yes, her body is a good thing.

We tend to develop this gnostic attitude in the church that the body is this secondary thing. No. The body is of utmost importance. Paul in the epistles to the Corinthians placed great emphasis on what we do with our bodies. Man is not just a body and not just a soul. He is a body-soul unity.

Women. You need to keep this in mind. This is what the guy is going to be thinking about and as a way of honoring you, he should be keeping himself under control. The attraction involves the wonder and the mystery of the female and the male wanting to explore it for all its worth.

But surely attraction involves more than just wanting sex. Surely it involves the way you treat that lady.

Of course it does!

I do believe that strong desire is at the root of that though. Remember how the female fulfills the potential of the male? The female enables the male to be all that he can be and vice-versa. The two become one flesh and the man at that point is to treat the body of the female as if it was his own, because in a sense, it is.

So what does it mean to find the one that completes you and is your missing half? It means that you honor her like you do your body. It means you don’t treat her in any way you wouldn’t want to be treated yourself. It also means you don’t look for greener pastures anywhere else, for she has completed you and that which is complete needs nothing else added to it.

The desire for sexuality means so much to a man after all. I also think it’s quite essential to a good marriage. Notice this isn’t to be on the part of just the man either. The woman should desire this as well. Paul writes about how both partners can agree to separate for a time for Christian devotion, but be ready to come together due to their passions. Notice it doesn’t say the guy’s passions. It says the passions of both of them.

We can’t treat this as if it is just an add-on. God says in Genesis that for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to the wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is the fundamental design. While the main purpose is the production of children, other passages of Scripture indicate the importance of pleasure and intimacy as well.

In my opinion, a marriage that does not involve sex often, is a marriage that is in trouble. How often is up to the two involved, but there should be a strong desire for this unifying experience to take place. There should be a want to bring pleasure and intimacy to the other person.

Now if we men are to keep up this attraction though, it involves us being men. A lady once told me “Sex begins at breakfast.” She was absolutely right. A man should not expect to come home and put on the charm as he climbs into bed and expect his wife to happily play along. A man should be charming all day long. He should make charming his wife a lifestyle.

And the more he does this, the more he grows to love her and care for her and be able to do what Christ commanded, and it’s quite a call. He is to be the one who is to die for her if need be. He is to treat her as Christ treats his bride. Women often say that they don’t like submission being taught in the Bible. Women have it easy! The man has to be willing to die, to provide, to raise the family right, and in the end give an account before God of how his family turned out.

That death should be the only reason he separates from her also. Men should make it a desire to please their wives. Ladies. I’m hoping you’ve noticed we men are naturally competitive and like to be the best at everything that we do, but when women are around, that takes on a whole new meaning.

Go to a park sometime and watch some older guys playing basketball for instance. Then watch and see how they act when a cute girl walks around and starts looking at them. All of a sudden, every player on the court (Unless he’s married or has a girl) will be wanting to show that he’s Michael Jordan. The attention of a lady can empower a man to do great things. This is the role a wife should play. She should give her husband the respect he desires so he can be all he can be.

In turn, the man should seek to constantly love his wife as he is so attracted to her. The more you are attracted to her, the less you will notice the competition out there. The less you will want to do anything to hurt her. Temptations will come, but when is it easier to resist? When you and your wife are on the outs, or when you’re treating her like a queen?

Attraction is important. It is rooted in sexual desire for us men, but it goes beyond that. It means that we be all that we can be to our ladies. They are God’s gift to us, and we should treat them properly.

A friend of mine wrote in response to a recent blog about my comment on how we are to be attracted to our wives as men and how I said that the command to love could be stated as “Be sexually attracted.” This is always a great danger of a writer though. You cannot explain everything and sometimes, what you intend is not always clear as she asked me “Surely it’s more than that.”

Now this is a good friend who is quite insightful herself as I just read a blog of hers on beauty, so naturally, she knew that that wasn’t all that I meant. Of course, the Bible tells more about how a husband is to treat his wife, but I thought I’d think about the question some more and then get back with an answer.

Yet as I thought about it, I thought the first thing to answer before “What does attraction entail?” is “Why be attracted?” I’m writing this mainly with men in mind as the Proverbial writer did. Yes. I do believe his advice can apply to females to a certain extent, but I think it’s clear Solomon was writing to a young man.

Men. There are many beautiful things out there. There are sunsets and mountain ranges and works of art. We could even say that the male body has its own kind of beauty. It is not the kind that we should desire, but we do not do ourselves a service if we see ourselves as ugly. (And many of us have looked ourselves over in the mirror I’m sure.)

But yet, we can easily say all of these are beautiful, but the female body is different. Now in some cases of beauty, it is enough to stare at it and contemplate it. In my old state, I had a counselor who I visited regularly and sometimes before a session, I’d go to the prayer room and there would be a lovely mosaic sort of stained-glass painting of Jesus knocking on a door out of Revelation 3:20.

I could lie on the couch in this room and look at that painting and think about it. I’d see the light tap that Jesus was knocking. I’d see his still and solemn expression. I’d see his simple appearance with a robe and a staff. Everything about that painting spoke to me and I’d see more and more.

However, there is another kind of beauty and that is the beauty that you desire to experience. This is the female beauty. Now naturally, that entails some admiration beauty being intact. In some cases, we have to accept this. I know some men with beautiful wives and I do admire the beauty of their wives, but I know I cannot desire to experience that one particular beauty. (Of course, I have to remind myself of that sometimes.)

But then, there are those who are not married and we see that beauty and it is not enough to desire it. We want to know it. We want to experience it. We want to take that body and soul and experience as much oneness with it as we can. We want to know it on a level unlike anything else. (By the way, think about the desire for God throughout this and see how many parallels you see.)

Men. We should at this point be thankful that we are men. It is that manly side of us that allows us to desire the female beauty in such a unique way that the female cannot. (Or at least, should not.) This is not to denigrate females. Females should give thanks that they are females. We should give thanks that we are males though. Masculinity and femininity are good things, and we should each give thanks that we get to participate in one of them.

So why do we desire the female in a different way? I believe it is because the female completes the potential we have. If you take a normal adult male, he can feed himself, fend for himself, and do whatever he needs to do in life by himself. However, there is one thing he cannot do by himself. He cannot reproduce. The same applies for the female.

When in the garden, God said that Adam needed a helper. If he had meant a helper for physical labor in the garden to tend it, another male would have been a better helper. This is not as a criticism of females, but their gift is not in physical strength. They are more nurturers. However, God did not give a man, so it seems the main goal was not to work the garden.

The goal had also been to go forth and multiply. This is where the woman came in. The man has one aspect of life inside of him and he awaits a female so he can fulfill that potential. It is only by the unity of the male and female aspects that new life can come into the world.

Please note that even with modern methods, the parts are still the same. Even with in vitro fertilization, we still need sperm and eggs. Those two are there. The male then desires the female because she enables him to fulfill the one aspect of masculinity that he cannot fulfill on his own. That of giving life to the egg. The female in turn desires the male for the one aspect of femininity she can’t fulfill on her own. That of being impregnated so she can give birth and bring new life into the world.

In fact, for those who struggle with homosexuality, it could be the case that they have not learned to rejoice and accept their own sexuality. The man needs to see himself as a male and desire the feminine aspect that will allow him to reach his potential that he can’t do alone and the female should do likewise.

In this, the man and woman are both complete and maybe this is even part of the answer to how we are to treat wives as men. If we are completed by the woman, how can we become more complete? There is one woman that completes us and we do not need to go beyond her.

Of course, I do plan to expound on this further later, but I think this is an important point to start at. Before we discuss what it entails to be attracted, we must ask what being attracted means.

I’ve been doing some thinking on this topic lately. All I have are some ideas now that I am still formulating. Readers of my blog know that this can be my style though. I can tend to just get ideas and start writing them and as they are written, they develop into something more, so let us go and see where the path leads.

If there is an area we often have trouble with, it’s our feelings. There are some people like myself who are incredibly introspective and as a result, make a big deal out of every little feeling and think that we have to analyze it to find out where it came from and what it reveals about our psyche.

It can be a nightmare at times.

I would like for us though to see where the feelings come from. This is my view at the time. The feelings come from thoughts that we have. Those thoughts produce the feelings and too often, we confuse the two. We think the feelings are the thoughts. The feelings are our emotional responses to the thoughts.

I am going to say that a thought in this case is an idea that can be expressed in a complete sentence. Not all of our thoughts are complete sentences but they can represent such. Suppose I see a pretty girl and my first thought is “Hot!” (I’m a guy! I do think that way!)  The complete thought behind that sentence even if not entirely stated mentally is “That girl is beautiful!”

On the other hand, suppose I am going to a place and I look out the window and see I am very high up. I can have a feeling of fear. That feeling is rooted in a thought. The thought is “I am high up and I am afraid of falling. I don’t want to be a spot on the pavement below.” Of course, those are two complete sentences, but we could easily combine them.

Now this gets into an idea I’ve stated earlier that A’s don’t cause C’s. Activating events do not produce the conclusions that we draw from them. Instead, they lead to beliefs that produce those conclusions and those conclusions usually are the ideas we get from the feelings. (Note. Thoughts do produce feelings originally, but those feelings can lead us to other thoughts, but rather than an endless cycle, I am saying the thought life starts it all.)

If this is the case, then we need to realize where the problem is. The problem is not in our feelings. The problem is in those thoughts that we often think so quickly that we don’t even have time to realize we are thinking them. Thus, the idea is to renew our thought life. It is not to renew our feelings or even change our feelings. That will happen if we take control of our thoughts.

This is why we have passages like Philippians 4 that tell us to focus our thoughts on whatever is pure, good, etc. This is why we have passages like 2 Cor. 10:4-5 that tell us to take every thought captive. This is why we have passages like Romans 12:1-2 that tell us to be transformed by renewing our minds.

It’s all a matter of the mind.

Now what is the purpose of a thought? To try to get to the truth. Much of our pain can come from untrue thoughts. Now this doesn’t mean that true thoughts always produce good feelings. They don’t. We can recognize the exceptions though. I have a true thought that a friend of mine passed away recently. That does not produce good feelings, but the thought is true. The solution in this case is to work through the feelings seeing as I can’t change the truth of the original thought. I could also though add in another thought that my friend is in the presence of Jesus.

Now let’s suppose instead that I have a thought that I am no good at what I do. What do I do then? I first off have to examine the thought. Now it can’t be that I am entirely no good as I am not pure evil and if Thomas Aquinas is right, pure evil cannot exist, and for the record, I agree with him. All that is has some degree of good.

So right off, I see an exaggeration in the thought. Let us suppose then that I admit some things. I am no good at football or basketball. Alright. I have no problem saying I’m not an athlete there. That is not what I am worrying about. Now if I think “I am no good at writing” then that is where I hit difficulties.

So I have to look and see “Is the thought true?” Where can I not go? I cannot go to my feelings. If only we could learn this. Picture someone in love. He cannot tell if he is in love by going to his feelings. They will fade and when they do, it does not mean that the love has ceased. It means an emotional response has ceased and he needs to go with a deeper level.

I at this point can turn to my friends. I can turn to the ones I trust to shoot me straight and say “What do you think?” If there are other cases about my personal identity, in many cases, I can go to Scripture to help as if God says something is true, then we need to learn it is true.

Consider if I beat myself up over a past sin. (Considering some of mine, there is much beating up that goes on.) I need to turn to Scripture and see what it says. Did I repent? Yep. Did I confess. Yep. Have I asked forgiveness? Yep. So what does Scripture say then? I am forgiven.

How do I know? It is not on the basis of my feelings. I cannot say I feel unforgiven or I feel forgiven. I simply have to say “I am forgiven and my feelings will not tell me if I am or not.” Our feelings will normally act on the basis that our thoughts are true and the negative ones can be from that we don’t want those thoughts to be true but we might fear that they are.

If we look at the feeling though, we will miss the boat, and that is where it gets hard. We have to go back and look at the thought. We honestly have to see if it’s true. Let’s also be sure that usually, it’s not as bad as we make it out to be. We tend to exaggerate and make molehills into mountains when we really need to learn to make mountains into molehills.

Am I going to be working at this? You bet! I don’t expect to learn how overnight though! I expect it will be a lifelong process. I invite you to come along with me though and maybe see what thoughts you are giving yourself.

What do you think? (And yes, I mean think. Not feel.)