Month: August 2008

After reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, which sometime in the near future I plan to give some thoughts on, and being at the beach and considering how someone can come to the conclusion of pantheism, although I think Tolle’s view is more panentheism, I have come with a new appreciation for divine revelation. It seems in Christian circles, we treat this too lightly if we’re apologists.

Now I know there’s a time and place for proving things apart from the Bible. Sometimes though, we can seem to reach the point where we want to avoid the Bible as much as possible in such argumentation. There were some medievals who sought to prove the doctrines of the Trinity and of the incarnation apart from divine revelation. Now I believe we can have hints of those, but I don’t think we could know those doctrines apart from Revelation.

On page 6 of the Basic Writings of Saint Thomas Aquinas edited by Anton C. Pegis, we find these words from Aquinas:

It was necessary for the salvation of man that certain truths which exceed human reason should be made known to him by divine revelation. Even as regards these truths about God which human reason can investigate, it was necessary that man be taught by divine revelation. For the truth about God, such as reason can know it, would only be known by a few, and that after a long time, with the admixture of many errors; whereas man’s whole salvation, which is in God, depends upon the knowledge of this truth. Therefore that the salvation of man might be brought about more fitly and more surely, it was necessary that they be taught divine truths by revelation. It was therefore necessary that, besides the philosophical disciplines investigated by reason, there should be a sacred doctrine by way of revelation.

endquote.

Aquinas was a highly intelligent man. (To be more accurate, he is one as I believe he’s still alive though apart from his body.) However, he knew that few men would come to the knowledge of God apart from God revealing himself. Even if they did, they would come with many errors. His own philosopher he followed, Aristotle, described God as moving the world by being the object of desire of the world and God was only in thought about himself.

We can look back and wonder how they reached such goals, but is it that hard? If there seems to be no message from the outside and all you have is your mind, you’re bound to make mistakes as you have no guidelines. I can understand how someone like Tolle can make the mistake he makes as it seems there is no place for divine revelation in his worldview. I can understand the same happening with the great thinkers of the past like Plato and Aristotle.

However, we’re different. We do have divine revelation. God has not left us in the dark and it’s more than just general revelation. Paul does make it clear that God’s existence can be known and some of his attributes in Romans 1. He does not make it clear though that God can be known to exist in three persons or that God has spoken to the prophets through revelation alone.

Now that we have that revelation, many of our errors can be corrected. Now we can look back afterwards and say “Why yes. That makes sense.” It’s like watching a mystery and when you go back and watch it a second time you realize all the clues that you should have seen along the way and think “How did I miss that?” and realize “Yes. That clue was there. I just misread it all.”

Revelation is a gift we dare not take lightly and if we’re good evangelical Christians, we need to be learning about the revelation that we have in Scripture and of course, the incarnation told to us in Scripture, and seeking every jewel that we possibly can in there. I want it to be clear also that I speak to myself as much as to anyone else. I’m just as guilty at times as taking divine revelation for granted. He did not have to reveal himself, but he did. We should be thankful.

I’ve been writing lately on how important beauty is. I had much time to think about this after being on vacation. It’s quite amazing to see the beauty of the ocean and think “When all the ugliness even here is stripped away, how much more beautiful will this place be?” I happen to believe God will make our planet even more beautiful than it has been in the eschaton.

What about us though? We consider our sin evil. Do we ever consider it ugly? Do we really? Do we consider how important beauty is to our world? Or, do we think ever think that it might be more than just taste? Could it be that when we say that something is beautiful, we are saying that beauty resides in the thing itself and not just our opinion of it?

The magazine “Lucky” has a picture on the front of it of Milla Jovovich and it says “Milla Jovovich gets sexier and sexier.” Now I don’t know who that is honestly, but I did see the picture and did find her right attractive. However, I also started thinking about that idea of getting sexier and sexier and thought, “You know, that should apply to Christians also.”

Of course, I do not take sexiness to refer to just the physical, although I do believe it includes that. We are not gnostics. A Christian though should be increasing in beauty as much as they are in holiness as they walk in Christ and I believe that will show up in the physical also. We men at least all know girls who physically look like supermodels, but there’s nothing there. On the other hand, some that would be considered “plain Janes”, but they’re absolute knockouts.

Thus, if a lady wants to be more beautiful, she should grow to be more like Christ. If a man wants to be more masculine, he should seek to grow more like Christ. If a marriage is meant to be a marriage made in Heaven, they should seek to have that marriage follow the teachings of Christ and have him as Lord of their marriage. Following the path of Christ makes anything better after all.

If that is the case also then, if a marriage wants a better sex life even, seek to be more like Christ. Who should have the best marriages? Christians. That includes the bedroom as well. (Already, I can hear some guys thinking they’d never considered this aspect of Christianity.) After all, this is God’s gift just as much and what better way to enjoy it than by following his commands about it, and if we are doing so, it should be the most enjoyable of all for us.

Our marriages should be intensely awesome. Instead, they are seen as curses often. Many of our marriages are falling apart and the secular world is seeing it. We as Christians should be showing the reality of marriage. Could it be so many young men and women are sleeping around and living together because they’ve been shown a bad idea of marriage? No one is a stronger opponent of pre-marital cohabitation than I, but we must understand that part of the reasoning behind it could be that so many young people saw bad marriages and think it’s proper to give a “test run” first.

And again, this should show in sexuality. We too often in the church in preaching on this topic have given only the negatives. Aren’t there any positives at all? You never hear them! You don’t hear the emphasis of the joy of sex. Sorry, but as a single guy, I would much rather hear a sermon on the joy of sex than just hearing “True love waits!” Yes. I know it does. I know it does because I’ve heard it umpteen times. (and when you’ve been waiting like I have, it is hardly pleasant.)

We want our women to think they’re beautiful? Teach them to be good Christians. We want our men to be men? Conform them to the likeness of Christ.

Bringing Christ in our lives can only make us more beautiful. He is not just the God of all good. He is the God of all beauty as well.

I hope no one minded not getting to have a blog yesterday. I was on vacation and I even need a vacation from blogging at times. My roommate and a friend of ours all went to the beach. Readers of this blog by now should know that I am not on best terms with water. I am hydrophobic about getting my face wet at all and going underwater, but I do like the beach.

I’ve also been reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”, and I plan on writing a review of it soon. It comes from the pantheistic worldview so answering that has been on my mind lately. I understood more the glitter of it when I went to the beach this time. Going to the beach is so mystifying. It’s like seeing the waves is the ocean’s way of greeting an old friend and you want to say “I missed you too.”

We as Christians are doing right when we are not pantheists. However, I think it is a shame that we are not often tempted with pantheism. When I at first see the awe that is the ocean, I can ponder for a time and understand how someone could be a pantheist. The problem with pantheism is not that it goes too far. The problem is that it does not go far enough.

Pantheism takes the foreplay of God as I put it in creation and mistakes it for consummation. It is saying that you will have the book but you have no desire to meet the author. You would rather flirt with the lady than put a ring on her finger and enjoy the intimacy. Pantheism takes the gift and replaces the gift with the giver.

Yet it is a shame we are not tempted. I often wonder “Why do I not feel this awe?” Maybe it is not a problem as much as I think it is. Maybe it’s just my temperament and that I’m aware of that is enough. C.S. Lewis seemed to indicate the same thing in the Four Loves in asking why we don’t feel the great love for God. There is an awareness, but it seems there is an emotional disconnect.

Ancient Israel was tempted to worship the sun, moon, and stars. Our problem is that we are not. We have taken into reductionistic ideas that say that if we can tell what the sun is, that it removes the wonder. Incredible. As if if you knew the chemical make-up of the beautiful lady, that she would not hold you awe and you would not want to date her.

Please understand again that I am not endorsing pantheism, but I fear if we approach the world at times and aren’t tempted, there’s something dead in us. People are pantheists for a reason and part of that is the awe of nature. Let us not defend orthodoxy so much that we end up losing the experience of the wonder of creation.

I was thinking about something today upon a sight I saw. There are people that are like myself that have things go wrong in their life that produce physical characteristics less than beautiful. Note that I am not saying they are not beautiful. We just know something is wrong. Aquinas spoke about this centuries ago even. If you meet someone without an arm for instance, you know that there is something wrong with the sight.

I’ll be at the beach tomorrow for instance, so readers, don’t expect a blog tomorrow. Even I need to vacation! I know though that due to my back surgery and a steel rod on my spine, that the scar that is on my back is not the most pleasant sight in the world. Some of you dear readers might have similar conditions that you can much more easily see in a mirror and wonder about them.

When God created the world, we know he created it good, but Armand Maurer in his work “About Beauty’ looking at the thoughts of Aquinas on beauty stated how that the concept of goodness would also include beauty. When God created, not only was all that he created good, it was beautiful. Makes sense since he said that woman was very good!

Thus, all that truly is, is beautiful. My scar is something that is not really. It points to a flaw on my part physically. We speak of reaching Heaven and having our emotional and psychological scars removed. I wonder how often though we think of our physical scars and deformities being removed as well. We should as we are people of the body.

This is truly an exciting thought! Consider the person you see today! When you look at them and think about all that is not beautiful being stripped away and being left with that which is beautiful. Naturally, it’s not as beautiful as God who is beauty, a fully orthodox statement to make if any, but it is a beautiful reflection for it does not contradict his nature.

I can imagine some Christian husbands getting very pleased right now. As beautiful as your wife may be now, she is only going to grow in beauty in the afterlife. (Isn’t that an odd name as I consider it? As if the cessation of life happens and then that? It’s quite the opposite. We could say this is the pre-life and the so-called afterlife is when life really begins.)

Friends. I love thinking about beauty. (And being at the beach means so much more time to ponder it.) I am fully convinced of the objectivity of beauty and this is a battle that we need to win. I even include the existence of beauty in my arguments for the existence of God. I believe it is that strong. If only people would ponder the beautiful and what it is, I believe they would get closer and closer to God.

I plan on writing more on this beauty when I get back and how it works on an applicational level.

I’ve been writing about focus lately and how we don’t seem to have this gift. Could it be that one of the reasons is that we don’t really know how to think any more? We live in an era where we can type something into a search engine and get the answer. We have advice columnists and we have numerous others out there with information waiting to help us out.

Now I’m not against those per se. I use Google to find information often, but it is not to be the end-all. When someone comes and tells me something like “Wikipedia is a reliable source.” and I know some people who read this will know one person I have in mind for making that nonsense statement, then I know that we have a problem. While I enjoy wiki for pop culture references and basic information, it is not scholarly material.

As an example, take an alarming trend I’m noticing in Math classes. Sixth graders are using calculators. Now some of you might be thinking “Cheaters have always existed.” I’m not talking about cheaters though. I’m talking about students being mandated by the school to bring in calculators to help them with math on a sixth grade level! These are scientific calculators even!

There’s a reason the kid at McDonald’s gets stumped when you give him an extra penny.

What’s the end result? We don’t know how to think for ourselves. All we know is “X says it! It must be true!” Now X could be a leading authority on the subject, but X is not perfect. They are capable of making mistakes. It is always best to examine the argument yourself and ask if there are any mistakes being made. Don’t just blindly believe.

Instead, we more often make decisions based on our feelings. A person can write a letter to the editor where they get a strong emotional response. People don’t stop to ask “Is that true?” Instead, “I will suffer so much if this policy is pushed!” There will be suffering for anyone on a number of issues. The question is often “Is this right or morally right?” or “Is this wrong or morally wrong?” If there is a war declared, some people will lose loved ones. The question is “Is the war itself right or not?”

This often happens in Christian circles as well. Feelings are said to be from the Holy Spirit and this makes good Christians sitting ducks when groups like the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses come by. It’s no longer, “That’s a reasonable case and makes sense.” It’s “That feels true.” We even ask people how they feel about something instead of what they think about it.

The life of the mind is dead in America and if the church is to recover and make a difference, it will need the life of the mind to do so. The church should be at the forefront in intellectual issues as we believe in a God who is the greatest mind of all. We should value the work of the mind in that case. Unfortunately, we are often on the back-burner.

An example would be that we consider a revolutionary idea. Jesus was smart. Let’s not just say a good and moral teacher. Good and moral teachers are often quite intelligent as well. It is no disservice to Jesus to say he was smart. In fact, it is a disservice to deny it. You go read the debates he had with Pharisees and Sadducees and see how smart he was. His followers took after him also. Paul was brilliant in his reasoning in theology.

The life of the mind is a must if we are to recover the art of thinking. Atheists claim that they have the rational position today and that Christianity is irrational. Sadly, their thinking that might be because we’ve given a side that’s anything but rational to them.

It’s been nearly a year together and my roommate is the first of the two of us to have a birthday, though he is talking about evil plans for next month involving mine. A little review of what happened here. I had been planning for months a surprise birthday party for him and called people and told them where to park and I’d come pick them up.

This morning, I wake up early, but I’m not getting up. Instead, I’m staying in bed reading and what not while I wait for him to leave for he has to be at work at 11. He later told me that seemed odd as I’m usually up by then. While he’s at work, I’m getting things ready by going into town and picking up the cake and telling people to park at a nearby shopping center where I will pick them up and then bring them here.

My roommate works where the Seminary is and the guy who runs the bookstore is working with me and keeps him busy. Good thing to for we were told the eagle had left the nest while I was still picking up our friends. It was my prayer at the time that God in his mercy would send my roommate some red lights. He got here and I had my friends hiding out in my room lighting candles on the cake.

Needless to say, when one came out, my friend was surprised but then they all come out singing happy birthday. He is embarrassed at first, understandably, as I think I would be too, but then is quite pleased. He then gets his gifts and we spend the next few hours chatting about issues in politics and apologetics and other such topics.

So what can I say about him for his birthday blog?

My roommate is my best friend in this world. I don’t mean that do lower my other friends. We have been compared by some of them to David and Jonathan or Frodo and Samwise. There’s just something different when you live with someone and get to know them better and they get to know you better. There have been ups and downs for us, but when the day comes to an end, I know I have my best friend in this world. I cheer him on for whatever he does and I realize many times that I have my strongest supporter and friend in him.

My roommate has helped me come out of my shell more than anyone else has probably. I can do things today that I thought I would never be able to do simply because of his friendship and many times when facing a situation that would normally make me nervous I think “If he was here, I’d be able to do it.” That’s not to discount the presence of God in our lives, but I think God gives us visible reminders often in the form of friends.

Of course, there is a way to go still and he knows that, but he’s not a pusher also. Sometimes, he’s blunt, but many times, it is needed, and that bluntness has awakened me out of some dogmatic slumbers. I am often struck with wonder when I think about how I now live with my best friend and how we’ve made it through everything so far.

He’s also a very intelligent guy as I’ve seen through our encounters with Mormons where I wonder sometimes where he pulls out some of the things he says because I think they’re great. I appreciate his unique perspective on many things, especially if he notices something I’ve overlooked. It is this that helps us most as we can usually tell where the other is going in a debate such as with Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses and are able to work with the other.

I think he’s an excellent Christian also and I do see many times his concern for those who are not in the way of righteousness and seek to emulate it. I can tell that he’s spent much time pondering about those who are in other worldviews and wants to have as much information about them as he can. He also tends to read the people who we interact with and I think he does a good job. I’m not one much on the social scene so his ability of noticing what people are saying by body language and such is a great blessing.

He puts up with me as well which for me is astounding. I do not think I could have anyone better for a roommate. Things have come a long way from the time he sent me a message on our theology site after seeing me handle some atheists and giving me a final fantasy avatar to use. I don’t wonder if any of us thought at the time where we would be a few years from that time.

Yet here we are. Eventually, we’ll graduate and hopefully before that, find wives that we can start families with, but there is no doubt that through it all, our friendship will stay strong and true.

To my roommate who is my best friend then, I wish you a happy birthday. May I never take it for granted that I can wake up every day and call you friend.

I’ve been writing some about focus every now and then. (Maybe I have a hard time focusing on that.) Part of the reason I believe our minds can rarely settle and find peace is because we are in a rush constantly and we are overloaded with information. As I ponder throughout the day, there is constantly a barrage of information going on. As I ponder it now, I realize that if I took the time to write down all the topics currently swimming through my mind, I’d never get this blog done.

Not only do we have that information, we don’t have the time to process it. I am sure I am not alone in saying that I rarely find time to pray and it’s crazy because I know I have time. Prayer is hard because focus is hard. I sit down to pray and within a few minutes, my mind is already going everywhere else and I’m trying to catch hold. It’s terrible when you think about it that you go to focus on God and your mind is quickly distracted from Him.

Why should this surprise us? We go about our day and we are never told to do things slowly. Oh there is a time for speed and I realize that. There is a time to move slowly though. Even if we are on a break at work, we feel that our time is rushed and we have to get as much in as possible. I find it amazing that even when I go to the movies, I still look at my watch as if I need to measure the time.

When watching a TV show, we can look and see how much time is left so we can know “Okay. This plot has to be dealt with by this time.” Many of us can also then approach our lives the same way thinking that whatever crisis we are dealing with must be dealt with immediately. As I wrote in an earlier article though, our stories keep going.

When the medieval philosophers are read, contemplation is always held in high regards. Today, we don’t really do that. We don’t know how to sit and contemplate. We can say we’re going to think about God and then go “Well what do I think about?” Could it be God has become so abstract from our day to day lives that we no longer know how to ponder about him?

I tend to be OCD also which makes the focus hard at times. I can get a song stuck in my head and that song will not go away. Then before too long, it’s replaced with another one. Still, I take comfort at the words of Santayana that for the true lover of something, what they love is always at the back of their mind. I believe that is the way we should see things. An active love of God does not mean always thinking about him, but it means one can easily switch to thinking about him.

What we need is to slow down. This is why vacations and recreation are so important. He who spends all his time in studying will burn himself out. You need time to process that information and you need times as well to avoid that deep thinking. There is a time for work and there is a time for play. The good Christian life will be a balance of both.

As you go about your day, try to go slowly sometimes. Enjoy what you can in life. Maybe drive without the radio on and under the speed limit. Instead of driving to the mailbox, if it’s possible, why not take a walk? Why not take a break in the middle of the day and go sit on the porch and read? Oh. Parents. Here’s a strange idea. Why not take some time out today and put away that work at home and actually spend some time with your kids? Yeah. It’s a lost art, but it will do a world of good.

Slow down.

I was talking to a friend of mine last night who is a very wise lady. She’s one that I value as she’s an older lady as well, and I don’t mean that in an insulting way. Just one of those women that you think you can talk to about so many things because you know they’ve been there and they’ve gained a lot of wisdom over the years and they in turn tend to have that motherly love for you.

So she was talking to me about a situation with ladies in my life. One of the difficulties with being a single guy is the waiting. She started talking about how she thinks the dating system is just messed up and how some societies have arranged marriage. The older I get while being single, the more I really think that this is a good idea. All the time spent in finding someone and then dating and then having to set up a wedding date and then….oh wait. I digress.

Yet this friend brought up a good point also brought up by Chesterton though in discussing a different situation. What about family? Think about the family you were born in, and I hope you had a family you love. Why do you love them? Chances are, if you met many of them on the street and weren’t related, you wouldn’t have a deep interest in them. The things that annoy you in family, you wouldn’t put up with in anyone else.

And your family will annoy you in ways that they wouldn’t annoy anyone else.

I contend that while you may love your mother for who she is, for instance, maybe she’s a good cook or maybe she’s a very nurturing and sympathetic type, but that is not the first reason you love your mother, for there are many other women that are out there that are the same type, but you do not love them like you do your mother.

Instead, the reason you love your mother first of all is for her relation to you. It is because she is your mother and though you may not understand that, you love her.

What about friends?

I think among guys, we as friends rarely tell the other we love them. It’s there though, but it’s the love called phileo, in contrast to the family love of storge.

Friends are the ones that we are friends with because we choose them. My roommate and I were not forced together. We chose to be together. Most friendships begin, as Lewis says, with the saying “You too? I thought I was the only one!” I can look at each of my friendships and find that the ones that thrive the most is because of a common interest.

With friends, we love them for who they are.

Next is eros, a personal favorite to talk about.

In biblical times, there was one thing that really made a guy go for a girl.

She was hot.

That is the way this love starts! When I see a girl that I develop an interest in, it’s not “Oh. She has a great personality.” It’s “Wow! She’s hot!” I would say the women can be the same with the men. When you first love the woman in the eros sense, it is not for her personality but for the body. That is what makes eros different from all other loves. It is a love that relies on the body.

By the way men, this is something we need to accept and something you women need to realize. When the attraction first starts, it is for your body. Now hopefully, it won’t stay at that level where you are treated as just a body, but it does start there. It is as the lover becomes a friend as well that you start loving them for who they are as well.

Eros love starts with what one has.

And what of the finale? The love of God?

We love God because of who he is.

We love him because of his attributes, what he has.

We love him for his relation to us.

Agape love is the greatest for it contains all the others.

Just some thoughts on why we love.

A few days ago, I posted about visiting my grandmother. I thank all of you who prayed for she was released today from the hospital and is back home. As I thought about this experience, I considered that it seemed like this story has a happy ending. As soon as I said that though, I realized what I had said. Who says the story ends? Is there not more to this?

Many of our stories end with “And they lived happily ever after.” Somehow, we think that’s an ending. Now in written form, it seems stories do end, but where the story ends, each time you could simply put “to be continued.” Yes. The guy got the girl, but you go on from there. What happened in that marriage? Did they have kids? What happened to those kids? Etc.

Now someone might bring up the point of death. Isn’t death the end of a story? It is never the end. It is simply continuation as well. The story just picks up in another time and place. That is, it does so if Christianity is true. Even when one reaches Heaven, that is not the end of the story. In fact, it is only the beginning. The Chronicles of Narnia do not truly end in the Last Battle when the New Narnia is revealed. One could say that is when the story truly begins.

This brings up an interesting point to an atheistic worldview. Does the story end? If everything comes to nothing and we have the cessation of existence, then it would seem that, yes, the story does end. Out of nothing, nothing comes. If the story ends, then one has to wonder if there was ever a point to begin with, especially since the meaning of a story comes from the author.

Every story has a point. Even if one wanted to postulate an atheist writing a story to counter that idea, then he has actually shown the idea. He has written a story with the point of supposedly saying stories have no point, which would be a self-refuting story. If that is the case, then should we not say that our lives have points behind them? Either all is meaningless or it is not. If we create meaning, it is only because there is no meaning to begin with.

I insist that there is meaning. We all know that there is. As soon as we open our mouths to say something, it means we believe there is meaning. I believe that this is indeed a story and that if this is a story, then there is an author. I suggest that we try to live our lives with that in mind and remember wherever we are, it is not the end of the story. It is at most simply “To be continued.”

I’ve spent most of my time doing with a friend hanging out be it at the pool at the Y or debating Mormons or playing some Super Smash Bros. Brawl. One thing we always talk about is romance in some way, especially since we go to the pool when we’re together, and I had shared a thought I shared with another friend of mine this morning in email on why we don’t feel our faith.

C.S. Lewis when writing of the agape love once said that we may wonder why our feelings aren’t as strong for God as they are for the beloved, meaning the object of eros. As I ponder this kind of question though, it becomes less and less of a mystery. Agape and phileo and storge love are all fundamentally different from Eros love in one major way.

Eros has a strong quality of love of the body.

Now don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that when you have eros love, you only love the body. I believe in loving the whole person including the soul. However, there is a love and desire for the body there. It is then the love that is physical. Other loves can be expressed in physical ways such as hugs and handshakes, but eros love is the love most expressed through the body where even the ultimate expression seen in sexuality is expressed in the most physical relationship of all.

In fact, according to Pilch and Malina, scholars who study the social world of the Bible, the command to love one’s wife shown often in the Bible could be translated as “Be sexually attracted to her.” Of course, it wouldn’t mean to treat her as simply a sexual object, but it would mean that when you approach your wife, you are to be attracted to her.

This explains then why we don’t feel our faith the same way. The bodily faith brings about changes in the body that we can immediately experience be they physical or chemical. Of course it’s going to be stronger! It doesn’t mean the love is less. It’s a different kind of love that is expressed in a different way. To say one is stronger than the other based on that is misleading.

Now it could be one has idolized the beloved, but one will generally know that. It won’t be found by measuring your feelings but as Lewis says, and rightly so, measuring your loyalty. Many of us don’t feel a strong love for God and chances are, we have let a beloved interfere with our relationship at times as we’re all fallen human beings.

However, a lack of feelings does not mean a lack of love. In talking to the Mormons today, I found myself having to give my testimony and talking about where I’m at and what I’m doing and what I’ve overcome and how it’s all for the cause of Christ. That did produce strong passion when it was talked about. That passion was always there though. When asked why I believed in the resurrection and the Bible, I was even more excited in getting to show that evidence.

If you asked me generally though if I have a strong love for God, I would say no. That is because I still too often base it on my feelings. I know my friends though would come and say that I do have it. Do I feel it the same way I have a feeling for the lovely lady? No. But I do have that love and it’s best to realize that it is there regardless of my feelings.