Hello everyone and welcome back to Deeper Waters where we are diving into the ocean of truth. I’ve been going through lately a look at marriage one year later and what all has been learned in this time. While I hope I’m right in what all I’m saying, I wish to make the point tonight that it isn’t always right to be right.
In saying that, I am not saying it isn’t always right to seek truth or want to hold to a true belief, but as an apologist, it can be a great danger to see every interaction as a possible apologetics interaction. Simple questions can be turned into whole apologetics dialogues. If you’ve ever read Plato, you know that this can happen for Socrates easily as he’ll latch onto something someone says and question them relentlessly on it.
We should seek to be right, but there are also even in apologetics some battles that aren’t worth fighting. For instance, consider the creation/evolution debate. For me, I can say my thinking has “evolved” to the point where this is a non-issue. Now do I have a side on the issue? Yes. I do. However, I see the truth of Christianity being based on if Jesus rose from the dead and if the texts are reliable enough to demonstrate that. If they are, it really doesn’t matter to me what happened at the beginning. You can be saved regardless.
In other words, I think atheists and Christians who make that the issue could win the battle but lose the war. If we are to win a war, I think it’s far more important that we choose which hills we’re willing to die on. This is especially the case with secondary issues in Christianity today.
Now we come back to marriage. Believe it or not single friends, sometimes husbands and wives disagree on matters. My wife and I hold different views on the age of the Earth and eschatology. She knows my views and respects them and vice-versa and in fact likes to see me debate them. She does ask for my opinion on many matters and I’m happy to share.
However, there are issues that rise up that can be areas of serious disagreement. Married couples know all about these issues. I have found in many cases that more important than trying to prove to my spouse that I am right, is still in the midst of all of it being a good and loving husband and not losing sight of the person in the midst of the discussion. As I have said in other places, it is more important to be righteous than it is to be right a lot of times. (Righteousness is always important. Being right isn’t always essential.)
Can I disagree agreeably and even if I am absolutely certain that I am right in the matter, does it really matter in this case? Will proving that I am right be a way of increasing my ego simply instead of looking for the good of my spouse. If so, then I think it would be wisest to just drop it. My ego does not need to demonstrate to everyone that I am right every single time. If it is an important matter that I need to demonstrate correct thinking on, I can still do that in a way that I try to put her best interests at heart.
But in all things with your spouse, be righteous, right or wrong.
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