Month: April 2021

Autism Awareness Greetings

How do I respond when you approach? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Last time, I wrote about not knowing people so when they come up to talk to me, I don’t really know what to expect. Immediately, my mind starts racing with all kinds of social rules as I try to figure out what I should or shouldn’t do. I can relate to Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory as he tries to follow rules of social protocol. “I ask you how you are every morning even though I don’t really care.”

Being somewhat in the public eye, it can be concerning if someone knows me and I don’t know them. I have reached the point where I now can manage to ask someone to refresh my memory. If I have to wear a name tag, that makes it even more difficult on me as I am thinking, “Do you know my name because you can read or because you really know me?”

One of the worst parts of a greeting in my world is when someone asks the question that I hate so much and dread getting every time. “How are you?” Let’s suppose I’m not doing good that time. Do I want a question to remind me of that? Perhaps I had been getting in a better mood and someone asks something that I naturally will look internally with and return to a depressive state.

This question is so bad to me that nowadays, I choose to remain absolutely silent to it. I also think it’s really a fake question because I suspect the majority of people who ask it don’t even really care. I remember being at my job one day and bending down to put stuff in my locker when a manager walked by and asked “How are you?” and just kept walking before I could say anything. My mind is immediately thinking, “If you don’t really care, don’t really ask.”

The exception to this is if I know the question is about a specific situation. Some of my friends know I’m going through a rather strange period of my life right now and when one of them calls and asks “How are you doing?” I know exactly what they’re talking about and I tell them.

What greeting would I prefer? A simple “Hi” or “Hello” works just fine. Now keep in mind being on the spectrum, I might not say hi back. I might smile or nod or something nonverbal. I plan on getting into nonverbal communication before too long, but it is one way I do respond to communication, especially if I am nervous to some extent around the person.

If someone doesn’t respond to your greeting as you respect, sure, there’s a chance they’re rude, but maybe they’re not. Maybe they’re on the spectrum and don’t know what to say and could be intimidated to some extent. Please keep this in mind. Also, if you’re a church greeter and you know someone is on the spectrum, it could be good to find out how they would prefer you interact with them in that capacity if at all.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Support my Patreon here.

You Don’t Know Me

How do we react around strangers? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Often times, those of us on the Autism spectrum are considered to be rude. Of course, we can be rude, but sometimes when we are called rude, we are not at all intending to be rude. It is just a case of how we don’t know for sure how to act.

Have you ever seen a scene from The Good Doctor where the autistic surgeon on there has all these drawings and images going on in his head? For myself personally, I can have the same kind of phenomenon. When a stranger comes up to me and tries to talk to me, my mind immediately goes to the question of what kind of social protocol is it that I am supposed to follow here.

Usually, that means staying quiet as much as possible. I will have more to say on being quiet in another blog post. You can expect that in many cases, I will communicate non-verbally when possible.

This can also happen online. Generally as a rule, if you message me on Facebook and I don’t know you and you’re just asking the general questions like “How are you?” (I hate that question with a passion as a casual greeting and I plan on writing on that later) I will not answer you. If I go somewhere and someone is extraverted around me, it is frightening. If you are the same way online, that is also frightening.

So if that’s the case, how do you get to know someone on the spectrum?

Usually, you have to know what really gets us excited and talk about that. You could come up to me and talk about apologetics, video games, certain TV shows, etc. If you can demonstrate we have a common interest, I am much more likely to communicate.

In a way, picture it like if you were in a situation where someone came up to you who you thought could be a threat. You could have a multiplicity of scenarios going on in your head. It could include a physical response, running, playing casual, grabbing an item nearby to use as a weapon, pressing an emergency alert button on your phone, etc.

For me, this is similar to what I go through every time I meet someone I don’t know. Now in some situations, it could be more controlled. If I have been at a church and just given a talk and people come up to me after with questions, it is an environment where I know what I can expect and it is much easier. The casual conversation setting is the one that I dread.

Keep this in mind when you encounter someone on the spectrum. If someone starts acting in a similar way around you you don’t know, they could be on the spectrum. Again, I also want to stress that this might not be the same with everyone, but it is certainly my experience.

Next week, we will hopefully look at more of the world of Autism.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Support my Patreon here.

Autism Awareness Month Introduction

What does this month mean? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

This month is Autism Awareness Month so I would like to contribute much of this month to what it’s like to be a Christian apologist on the spectrum. I could hold off on any other posts, including book plunges, until next month. It all depends on how the month goes.

While I am writing from personal experience, I am not a psychologist or a doctor or something of that sort. My experience is my own. Please do not assume that because this is the way that I am, this is the way that someone else on the spectrum will be.

I do say this is the experience of an apologist on the spectrum, but not everything in my life is apologetics. I will tell how I relate to other areas in my life. How do I relate to the people around me, including friends and family? How do I respond to people I don’t know? What about my personal hobbies apart from doing apologetics?

I also want to stress that I am listed as high-functioning. There are plenty of people on the spectrum that are what we call non-verbal. As someone who has done live debates and talks on the subject of Christianity, I am definitely not one of them.

I also need to point out that we live in a victim culture. People seem to delight in being victims. I do give advice on how people who care can do matters differently, but I am not trying to demand that all of society change to meet my needs. That is not realistic.

Not only that, but I have consistently refused to be a victim. I believe in being an overcomer more than in being a victim of those around me. I do realize that some people need special care and that is something different.

Also, I am considering doing YouTube videos on this this month. Keep in mind that where I am at now, my microphone and webcam are not hooked up yet so it is my plan to just use my phone. I have never done that before, so we will see how it goes. The other option is if someone wanted to do Zoom interviews with me on this, and yes, I am available for podcasts this month.

I look forward to how this month will go. We’ll see what all we can cover. I hope you’ll walk out with a new appreciation of the world of Autism and Aspergers.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Support my Patreon here.