Month: March 2023

It’s Okay To Complain

Is it ever allowable to complain? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I have seen a few posts on Facebook lately about Christians complaining. There are two approaches people can sometimes make when someone is upset about how things are going in their life. The first is to say that someone else out there has it worse than you do. The second is to tell you to be thankful for what you have.

Now I am sure that odds are, unless you are in the absolute worst position ever in history, someone does have it worse than you do and than I do. I am also sure that like me, you have plenty of things to be thankful for in your life. I also do realize that in Romans 1, lack of thankfulness is a problem that even leads to the judgment of God.

Still, that does not mean it is never wrong to complain. In reality, we do not live in utopia. We live in a place that has suffering it. Bad things happen in this world. When they do happen, there is no sin in complaining about it. Go read the Psalms some time. How many of them involve the Psalmist complaining about his lot in life at the time?

What we are in some sense sometimes telling people when they are upset about their life is “Shut up!” This is not what we are told to do in Scripture. When someone is mourning, which can include complaining about their pain, we are to mourn them. When Paul writes to the Thessalonians, he tells them that when people die, we are to mourn, but we do not mourn like those who have no hope.

Someone could easily say “Don’t these people realize that their loved ones will rise and live again?” Yes, but it hurts right now. It hurts to have someone you care about and lose them for the rest of this lifetime. If your spouse or parent or sibling or friend or child or anyone else dies, you will be sad.

Sadness is something people have to work through. When i was in the worst part of my divorce, it was good to go to DivorceCare and be able to complain and share grief about what was going on with me. I still have friends from that group. We came together to share our pain and as a result we all managed to work through it better. There can still be times I call the leader just to share something that is going on and I am working through.

If people are in pain, you don’t want to tell them that they’re just ungrateful. That makes it worse. No one likes negative feelings, but it doesn’t mean we live in a dream world where we think they should never happen. Part of our current political climate is some people thinking they should never feel bad about anything. That’s just not realistic.

Of course, there is a time to stop complaining. Of course, we should learn to be thankful. The reality is that we have to realize still that there is pain. Life hurts a lot of times, and that’s not good, but it is acceptable to work through it.

If someone is complaining, one of the best things you can do sometimes in response is say nothing. Just listen. Just be there. There is a time to speak, but first make sure the other person knows they are heard.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

 

Book Plunge: God, Games, and my Neighbor

What do I think of Ian Murray’s book published by Westbow Press? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Recently, I did buy a few books on Kindle on the topic of God and video games. I said on Facebook that I was doing this kind of study and my friend Ian Murray got in touch with me to recommend his book. Actually, I had already bought it and hadn’t even realized he was the author.

I finished it last night and did enjoy it. One caution for me though, and this is not about the book per se, but since I know Murray from Facebook and he’s usually had Veggietales character in his Facebook profile, well guess how I heard the book being read mentally. Quite interesting to think of Larry the Cucumber talking about Grand Theft Auto V.

Something different about this book is it’s not really a defense of video games, despite that being in there at times. It’s more about relationships. Someone doesn’t have to be a gamer to understand this book. In a sense, non-gamers especially should read a book like this.

After all, gaming is sometimes a maligned hobby. Why not go out there and do something instead? We live in a society where sports can be glorified and many of us who are nerds just don’t care for sports. (Besides, keep in mind that it’s common for the city that wins the Super Bowl to go rioting after to celebrate. When was the last time you heard about rioting after something like the Pokemon World Championships?)

Actually, I think gaming can be much more intellectual as a good gamer has to think about a lot of things and think about them actively. If I plan an MMORPG like Final Fantasy XIV, I have to think about where I am, where the opponents are, what abilities they are using, and about my fellow teammates who I normally don’t know and what their jobs and abilities are.

Murray’s book does treat gaming as a serious hobby, but his book is more about how gamers and non-gamers can relate together and how gamers can live an effective and evangelistic life. Some Christians might think this doesn’t make sense, but is that being thought of when you watch a sporting event or streaming services? However, gaming is many times a communal activity, especially in the age of the internet where we can play games together online. (I still contend nothing beats having those people in person and playing that way. I can still remember the classic Goldeneye done that way.)

Murray also recommends you listen to someone before you become a judge to that person. Before condemning the person playing the game, try to understand why they play the games. Odds are the person has received the judgmental side before. There might come a time for confrontation, but first try to understand the person, which might make it all the better for you if you think you have to disagree with their choice as you will now be coming from a place of knowledge.

Murray also gives a call for those of us who are gamers. Are we examining ourselves regularly to make sure we’re living Christlike lives? Is mature conduct in a game affecting us? Could a game be by and large harmless, but there is something about it that affects us? If so, perhaps we should avoid that game.

I do recommend Murray’s book. It’s short and easy to read and someone can read chapter by chapter or just go to select chapters. On Kindle, it’s also an inexpensive read as you can get it at the time of writing for less than a dollar. If you are a gamer or want to relate to one, this is a great one to go to.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)