Should we love our families? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
Sometimes, I wonder why I keep having hope. Why do I hold on to this dream? When will I ever learn that it’s time to give up this false longing and realize it will always turn out the same?
I started reading another atheist book and this one by someone who has a PhD from Boston University in Biblical Studies named David Madison. One would hope that this would mean that this would be someone who will deal seriously with the best scholarship against his position. Unfortunately, as we have gotten used to, he doesn’t. In the bibliography, the only conservative scholarship you will see him interacting with is a commentary Ben Witherington co-wrote on Romans. You will instead see Carrier, Fitzgerald, Doherty, Helms, Sledge, and some guy named Loftus.
So what’s the first thing we see? Luke 14;26.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.”
Ah yes. We have all seen this before. It’s a favorite of Dan Barker. There’s no knowledge whatsoever that Jewish as well as many other people spoke in hyperbole. Never tell these people you’re so hungry you can eat a horse just so they won’t be tempted to be nice and bring you a Clydesdale.
“But the word means hate!” Indeed, it does, but as always context determines meaning. Telling you to hate your parents would violate the Fifth Commandment. The strong language used is used to draw attention to the point. The Kingdom of God must be the most important overall. I can just as well say the words hungry and eat and horse mean what the words mean in the above statement. About hate, Robert Stein says:
This is the first condition. From Matt 10:37 we know that this means to “love [one’s family] less.” This is evident from Gen 29:30–31, where Jacob’s greater love for Rachel (29:30) is phrased as hating Leah (29:31, RSV). Compare also Deut 21:15–17, where the same love-hate dichotomy is used. (The KJV translated the Hebrew literally as love/hate, but the NIV and RSV have translated the Hebrew as loves/does not love and love/dislike.) Compare also 16:13, where a love-hate, devote-despise dichotomy describes preferring one master over another. A person who commits himself or herself to Christ will develop a greater love for both neighbor and family, although at times loving and following Christ may be seen as renunciation, rejection, or hate if the family does not share the same commitment to Christ.
Robert H. Stein, Luke (vol. 24; The New American Commentary; Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992), 397.
And Evans says:
Jesus, like all of his Jewish contemporaries, believed in loving and honoring one’s parents and family members (e.g., Matt. 15:4; 19:19; Luke 18:20). But in comparison to the importance of the kingdom of God, to which Jesus invites all, then one must hate one’s family, especially if they stand in the way. This idea is expressed in Greo-Roman philosophy: “Isocrates the rhetor used to advise his students to honor their teachers above their parents, because the latter are the cause only of living, while teachers are the cause of living nobly” (Isocrates, Chreia 41, according to Theon).
Craig A. Evans, The Bible Knowledge Background Commentary: Matthew–Luke (ed. Craig A. Evans and Craig A. Bubeck; First Edition.; Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook, 2003), 409.
David Madison then quotes Hector Avalos.
How would we judge a modern religious leader who said that we should prefer him over our families? Why would we not treat such a person as an egomaniacal cult leader who does what all cult leaders do: transfer allegiance from one’s family to him or her. In other words, the demand would be viewed as unethical in itself.
Madison, David. Ten Things Christians Wish Jesus Hadn’t Taught: And Other Reasons to Question His Words (p. 13). Insighting Growth Publications. Kindle Edition.
But would it? In a Jewish context, would not loyalty to YHWH be first above all else? This took place plenty of times in church history. For instance, we have the story of the Maccabean brothers who were willing to die and leave behind their mother rather than to deny YHWH. These decisions weren’t made in a vacuum. These people had plenty of past reasons to trust YHWH. Avalos has a scenario where someone shows up outside of a context with no backing to their statements and makes these claims. Jesus showed up in a Jewish context and doing signs and wonders and calling the people to YHWH.
Madison goes on:
“Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:59-62, NRSV) Even as a child, something about this passage bothered me. Can you imagine telling the leader of any organization that you wanted to join, that you were excited about becoming a member, but your father just died, and you would be joining the leader’s group after attending your father’s funeral, then being told, “Let the dead bury their own dead”? I can’t imagine still joining that group!
Madison, David. Ten Things Christians Wish Jesus Hadn’t Taught: And Other Reasons to Question His Words (pp. 14-15). Insighting Growth Publications. Kindle Edition.
Unfortunately for Madison, “being bothered as a child” is not sufficient for saying there is something wrong here. For one thing, it could be the father wasn’t dead yet. He was very much alive and the man was saying he would follow after his family duties had been done. On the other hand, it could be the father had recently died. What would be the problem then? He would still be waiting awhile because he would have to go to a burial spot later on and collect the bones and put them in a bonebox.
Pro-tip: Saying “I don’t like it” or “I don’t understand it” is not an argument.
“Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” But he said to them, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.” (Luke 8:20-21, NRSV) This has to be a confusing response for believers who constantly champion the cause of family values!
Madison, David. Ten Things Christians Wish Jesus Hadn’t Taught: And Other Reasons to Question His Words (p. 15). Insighting Growth Publications. Kindle Edition.
No. It isn’t. Jesus is saying that the new family unit ultimately is found in the community of God, but this doesn’t mean you no longer have any other family. Is Jesus’s teaching here radical though? Yep. Sure is. That’s not being denied.
Finally, Madison says:
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. (Matthew 10:14-15, NRSV) When you’ve been a believer for most of your life, it’s easy to overlook how extreme this is. Sodom and Gomorrah were burned to the ground. So, any town that ignores wandering itinerate preachers faces the same fate? Try to imagine yourself in a similar situation. What happens when Mormon missionaries or Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on your door? Most of us send them on their way. We can’t be bothered. How would you react if one of them turned and yelled at you as they walked away, “Just you wait, God will burn your house down!” There’s no other way to see this teaching as anything but brutal and chilling.
Madison, David. Ten Things Christians Wish Jesus Hadn’t Taught: And Other Reasons to Question His Words (pp. 17-18). Insighting Growth Publications. Kindle Edition.
Yes. This teaching is chilling. This is how serious the message of Jesus is.
And?
It’s therefore wrong?
Atheist writers about these topics too often have the implication of “I don’t like it, therefore it’s wrong.” That doesn’t follow. Honestly, there are many teachings I don’t like. It sure would be easier if I didn’t have to avoid looking at women with lust. (A chapter on that later.) It would be easier if I could look at my brother and maintain intense hatred against him. (A chapter on that later as well.) I actually have to forgive someone from my heart when they wrong me?
No. These commands call me to die to myself and many times, I would prefer to do otherwise, but at the same time, living this way is actually very liberating when done.
This first chapter is an indication of how Madison approaches the text. I take it you noticed he does not interact with any other scholarship from the other side on how to interpret these passages.
We’ll look at chapter 2 next time we cover this book.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
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