The joyful time of year is not always joyful for everyone. Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and talk about it.
Holidays can be hard times. It’s my understanding that the idea that suicide increases during the holidays is a myth, but that does not mean that it is not difficult for some. For some people, it is really the absence that is most experienced.
For me, at least for my first Christmas after my divorce, I was with my family. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for those who weren’t with anyone. That being said, while I was thankful to not be alone, it was different. I used to share Christmas with my wife. Now I didn’t. That was a specter that was haunting me.
Recently driving here in New Orleans, there was bumper-to-bumper traffic on the interstate and when I got to the point of slow down, I saw that there was a horrible car accident involving multiple cars. I couldn’t help but wonder what Christmas would be like that year for them. Our pastor spoke of someone who went overseas in missionary work and his wife contracted a disease and died recently. What will the holidays be like?
We would like to think the internet has made us more connected, and in some ways, it can be so, but in others, it isn’t. I know many people online better than I do those in real life. I notice in my apartment complex on campus that many times, we all come home and then just stay to ourselves.
My encouragement to you is that if you have space for someone, reach out to someone else who you think could be lonely this Christmas. Give them a gift, but the best gift you can give them is presence. Let them enjoy getting to spend Christmas with another person.
Also, try to understand what they would like before having someone come over to see you. For instance, if you invited me over and you wanted it to be a big Christmas feast, I would likely sit there wondering when the whole thing was going to end. If I was invited over for a family game night where we just played games together, it would be incredibly memorable.
Christmas should be a time to share with the least of these. That includes those who are divorced and widowed. These are people who used to have someone they shared their lives with and now there is no one that they share with, at least to that level. Speaking as a divorced person, I can easily say that loneliness is a struggle that I experience every day.
Today, after all the fun is done, try to find someone you can reach out to and share the love of Christmas with them. If they would like a feast, bring them over a nice meal. If they would prefer a game night instead, invite them to join in with you and play some games together. You might even form a lasting relationship with them and start a tradition that your children can learn from.
Merry Christmas.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
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