As I kept going through this book, I was thinking “I wish I could put this in the hands of every evangelical Christian out there!” The problem pastor Osman is speaking about is one that is present throughout the church. It is the idea that God has a will for your life and He is trying to tell you what it is and you need to be listening for it.
Osman goes after this entirely and he has done his homework looking up the claims of people who teach this and reading their books. I have read books like this here as well and every single one of them is just awful in this area. Pastor Osman is much more thorough than I am in this.
Bonus too! This guy is a pastor! I treasure that because so many pastors seem to fall into the groupthink on this. So many people are making disastrous decisions with their lives and not following proper wisdom for following an unbiblical pattern of decision making.
It puzzles me even more when my fellow Protestants do this. Aren’t we the people who claim that we are people of the book? The Bible is our final authority? We only go with what the Bible teaches? Despite that, we have bought into an idea that is not even taught in the Bible and is our own form of extra-biblical revelation that is to each of us and has us playing a guessing game with the will of God.
It reminds me of what my ex-wife used to struggle with as she would have a dream and the next day be thinking about it all day. She would ask me “What do you think it means?” I always said the same thing to her. “Honey. If you spent as much time trying to understand what Scripture means, which you know comes from God, as you do trying to understand your dreams, which you don’t know come from God, how much better off you would be.”
What does Osman deal with? Still small voice? Yep. Feeling a peace about it? Yep. Being led by the Spirit? Yep. Open doors? Yep. My sheep hear my voice? Definitely. Every biblical distortion out there, he interacts with.
At the same time, there seems to be nothing personal against the people who hold to this methodology often. There is no doubting that many people who hold to this are sincere Christians and think they are doing good. However, sincerity is not enough.
The only section I really disagreed with him on was Muslim dreams. I am entirely open to Muslims having dreams that lead them to Jesus and the difference I think is that these are dreams that are JUST for that purpose. They are not meant to help the Muslim in day-to-day decision-making. Osman and I can debate that hypothetically, but we do agree on the general premise of day-to-day living.
Also, Osman is a cessationist, but that is not necessary for his position. I am not one. I think Craig Keener has presented tremendous evidence that miracles are taking place today. I am open to the possibility that God can speak today if need be, but it needs to be tested and checked and it won’t be something done subjectively. If God speaks, it will be clear. We won’t have to wonder if it’s Him speaking.
Does it work to build up a child’s self-esteem? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
I am going through The Bully Society now, among many other books. Something I am noticing in this book is the rampant problem of bullying in our schools. That’s not a shock. What causes it though is often making sure kids have the right fashions or that men are men and not coming across as feminine or “gay”. It’s odd that in schools, those who are educated are the ones who are the oddballs and the schools lavish everything on the athletes.
As I keep going through this, I have a dominant thought.
The self-esteem movement is a colossal failure.
We have spent so much time telling kids to feel good about themselves and be proud of who they are. Meanwhile, you have numerous kids around them telling them that they are shameful and embarrassing and they should not be proud of who they are. Who do children at that age want to please more generally? Their teachers and other adults, or their younger peers?
Knowing that, which voices are going to speak the most to them?
The problem with the self-esteem movement is that it is grounded in nothing. Think about how it is when you get a mass text or a mass email from a business that tells you how much they are thinking about you. You know they’re not. You’re just a name on a list. They don’t know who you are.
It is the same with the self-esteem movement. “Oh! You’re telling me all these wonderful things about me! Thank you so much! It means so much that you see me that way and….wait….you just said the exact same thing to them….and to that other person…and to the next one.”
At that point, you realize it has nothing to do with you.
Kids then want to go to the people who do know them and those are their peers. They will do anything because they want to be accepted and not rejected. They want to fit in. In principle, there’s nothing wrong with that. We all want to be accepted. We all hate rejection.
The problem can be sometimes these kids do things that they shouldn’t do because they want that acceptance. Status has been defined before as buying things you don’t want with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like. It is really short-term thinking. It’s not about children building up good character, but about children being liked.
This also leads to them getting involved sexually. The problem is, they approach usually from very different standpoints. A man needs to be sexually active in society because that is what a man does. The man is not thinking about long-term commitment. He’s thinking about notches on his headboard and getting the woman naked. This is also why so many guys dump girls after they sleep with them.
Girls generally want love and often think “if I give the man what he wants, he will give me that love.” The sad thing is, it doesn’t work. The idea of feminist empowerment so that women can enjoy sex the way men does is a failure because women are not men. Women end up being used and the guy still gets what he wants most of the time.
So what are children chasing after for acceptance? Material things and sex. Why shouldn’t they? What else are they being given to ground their worth in?
The church definitely needs to improve. Often, our message is the same as the world’s, but with a Christian veneer painted on it. The goal is often to get young people to feel good about themselves instead of being good themselves. It is to determine how they stand with God based on their feelings instead of a sound understanding of Scripture.
That also means a whole teaching of theology and doctrine and the reasons behind it. Hard work? Yes. Would you prefer to keep doing what we’re doing instead? How is that working out?
Our young people are worth it. They need a solid foundation for who they are in Christ. Only then will they not chase after everything else for identity.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Does our material really connect? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
I recently started reading Kevin J. Vanhoozer’s Mere Christian Hermeneutics. This is actually the first time I have ever read a book by him and I did not know what to expect. As I started going through, I found myself quite enjoying what I was reading.
There seems to be a hidden assumption among academics that their writings must be as dry and boring as possible. Yes. There is a tendency to think “Just the Facts” in Joe Friday style, but the prophets used vibrant language at times and the life of Jesus was put into the form of a story.
Consider these quotes from Vanhoozer:
“There are more things in discourse and text than are dreamed of in critical theory.” (p. 4)
An avid reader will recognize an allusion to Shakespeare immediately. Vanhoozer makes the point about how lacking critical theory is to the reading of Scripture, but does so in a way that sticks with the reader. The reader sees that and with a bit of bemusement goes on, but remembering the point.
Also on that same page:
“Consequently, we need not only to “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1) but also to test the hermeneutics. We need to conduct an experiment in criticism.”
Readers will here note a reference to Scripture, but others will note a reference to a work by C.S. Lewis, An Experiment in Criticism, in a book that is also itself a reference to Lewis in title, a take-off on Mere Christianity.
Things like this show up regularly in the work. The point is the reader feels engaged with then. If the reader is engaged in the material, they are more likely to remember the material and apply it.
About a year or so ago, I had Switch Online at the time on my Nintendo Switch and sat down and went through the first and second quests of the original The Legend of Zelda and then went through A Link to the Past. I could still do everything and find everything. Had I ever taken a test on these games? No. Was it even a necessity to find everything? No. You can finish the games without doing so. Had I been regularly reading material on those games to make sure I remembered where everything was? No.
I just engaged with the material and I learned it.
Quick. Try to think of two words that can be used to describe a long and boring talk. Two that I can easily think of and the ones you might have are sermon and lecture. If you go to a church on Sunday, what is the message often called? A sermon. If you go to your college or seminary classroom what do you get? A lecture. Quiz time. How much do you learn from those? If you’re like me, not much. Most of us the next day can’t remember what the pastor preached on yesterday. Some people can’t even remember a few hours later.
I watch a lot of gaming news and I am particularly interested in how my culture is responding to DEI. One such channel is the Kilted Cajun. I am going to use a slogan of his in talking about making good games and that is “Make it fun first.” I am modifying that a bit to say “Make it engaging first.”
We often have made this mistake in Christian media. How many of you have ever got together with non-Christian friends to go see something like a superhero movie? Sure. Most everyone wants to see those. How many of you have ever got together with some non-Christian friends to go see a Christian movie? Right. When was the last time you had people excited about a new Christian movie coming out?
The only one I can think of is something from The Chronicles of Narnia. Lewis was a master of this. Lewis was engaging. In Christianity, Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox all like to read Lewis. Atheists enjoy reading Lewis. I recall the account of one atheist who was stunned years later when she realized that Aslan was meant to picture Jesus. How many times had she been reading those books and unbeknownst to her, she was learning Christianity at the same time?
In the gaming field, this is the big mistake that the DEI crowd is making. They are forcing DEI into everything so that it’s artificial. To refer to another YouTuber, they are all about doing whatever they can to get in “The Message.”
Consider the case of Concord. This was a game that Sony spent at least $100 million on. Some places say as much as $400 million. It was at least eight years in the making. It was hoped to produce a major franchise.
Most FPS franchises nowadays are free to play and buy with the money coming from in-game purchases. That was the first strike against Concord. The major problem seems to be that the game was incredibly woke pushing things like pronouns.
DEI is so bad that there has even been a website set up to warn people about games that have DEI in them. I used to play Pokemon Go regularly, until they had a developer come in who remade the avatars and pretty much erased male and female from them. All the bodies had to look exactly the same.
There was recently a remake released of Dragon Quest III. I loved the original game, but I am not getting the remake. Why? Woke is in it. Instead of male and female for your character, you have type A and type B. Nothing uplifts women like referring to their bodies as Type B.
Why is this ruining games? Same reason. The material is not engaging. The message comes first and then they try to strap a narrative or a game on top of that. No one wants it. It would be interesting for a company like Square Enix to release another version of the Dragon Quest III Remake and have it be one without the woke stuff in it and see if it sells better. Prediction. It would.
In all of this, I am not at all suggesting that we lower the importance of facts and data. I am saying we need to consider how the material is coming across. We can have the best material in the world, but if no one wants to engage with the material, no one will get it. No one will learn it.
A teacher can have the best information, but if his students aren’t engaged when he teaches, then they won’t remember it long-term. They can study and learn it for a test, but they will forget it after. A preacher can work hard on a sermon, but if the audience does not feel engaged, they will not recall it or practice it. How this is done is up to the speaker and producer of whatever material is there, but it needs to be done.
We have a long history of bad media being made because we focused on message instead of the packaging. Now the woke are making the same material and we can see what we were doing for years. Let’s learn from our mistakes and their mistakes.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Why are so many Christians skeptical of science? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
When I say Christians, let me be clear at the start that I am speaking largely of lay Christians. There are several devout Christians in the sciences. Also, I do not think a lot of Christians doubt everything in science. Most Christians still cook food using tools of science and drive cars and travel by airplane.
Yet somehow, it seems there is an increase in the skepticism of claims of science.
In all honesty, I’m one of them also.
Why?
There are two great tragedies I think have happened in scientific history. The first is that there was a false warfare started between science and religion. This meant people had to choose one or the other normally. Atheists would ignore anything religious and quickly dismiss it and miss out on eternal life from a Christian perspective. On a more pragmatic level, there are Christians with great minds who could have gone into scientific fields, but were told they had to choose science or Christianity.
On the other hand, Christians bunkered down a lot more in their own circles and didn’t invest enough in the scientific enterprise. They perpetuated a myth that had been started. Christians could have been doing wonders in science, and yet the warfare continued. Christians got injected with a heavy dose of scientific skepticism.
The second great tragedy I consider far worse for the scientific enterprise.
That was when science married politics.
At least, on the outside looking in, that’s what it looks like.
Let’s go back to 2020 and the Covid controversy going on. Narratives were controlled then. If you said the virus came from a lab in China, you were a racist and a conspiracy theorist. Now, that is accepted truth. Many of us were skeptical of masks and school shutdowns. Looking back, it seems that we were right.
Any mention of hydroxychloroquine was off-limits, especially since it was espoused by the bad orange man. The same happened with Ivermectin. I remember active debates with people who were arguing that people were being encouraged to take horse medication.
Then the vaccines came out. I thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong. Suddenly, you didn’t just need the shot, you needed several boosters of the shot. We were also told if we didn’t get a shot, we were a danger to those who had got the vaccine somehow. It made no sense to us.
Not only that, anything contrary was quickly shut down. Yes. We saw the emails between Fauci and Collins and others. We saw that the science was being controlled and if you dared raise questions, you were anti-science.
And yet, many of us thought raising questions was what science was about.
Many of us also knew people who suffered long-term side-effects from the vaccine. Those stories were ignored as well. The information was being controlled and people would be punished somehow on social media. I remember making a joke post about what the best place was to farm for vaccines on Final Fantasy IX only for Facebook to automatically put up something on my post about contacting the CDC.
Now let’s talk about global warming also.
Many of us have seen threats of doom and gloom and the funny thing is, every prediction in the past that the due date has arrived, it has proven false. I remember being taught in Elementary school back in the 80’s that an ice age was coming. Leonard Nimoy talked about it back in 1979.
Now imagine if we had done something radical back then and taken steps to warm the planet. Where do you think we would be today with the hysteria? The problem many of us see is that the solution is always the same and well, it always seems to come down to more government control and more power for politicians.
Funny how that works out.
We also see all these celebrities talking about the crisis and we all need to cut back while they fly off on their private jets. We see politicians talk about the oceans are about to rise and then they buy oceanfront property. It always seems like the environmental stuff is what everyone else is supposed to do.
By the way, none of this is allowed to be questioned either.
You can also add in transgenderism where we’re told to deny basic biology. It is interesting that it seems to be abortion where people don’t want to look at the science the most and really turn philosophical. It may be a baby, but is it a person? Again, all of this seems tied to one end of the political spectrum.
For me, I can say that since Covid, I have grown a lot more suspicious. We have also seen in our political news how quickly stories get covered up and buried. Many of us do get suspicious.
This is ultimately why many Christians, and also many non-Christians are skeptical today. It’s not because we’re hiding thinking our worldview is in danger. It is because that science often seems to be science tied to an agenda. We live in an age where people are questioning narratives and if science seems married to a narrative, they will question whatever aspect is tied to it.
Until the average layman can tell that the two are not married, they will question whatever aspects of science seem tied to that union. Will this have worse consequences down the line? I am sure it will. Sadly, for many of us, it looks like the enemy came from within.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
What does it mean to be an atheist? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
Recently, I had someone give me the old saying that atheism is just a lack of belief in God. I had heard it several times. Fortunately, I decided I would bring up an article I had written on that which I found….
Wait! What’s this?! I didn’t have one!
Time to take care of that oversight!
Many a times, an atheist will say they are just someone who lacks God belief. I find this to be a cowardly move as it is a way to avoid dealing with the arguments more often and put the onus on the believer entirely. After all, how can you refute it if someone says they believe or don’t believe something. Even if I met the most staunch and intellectual atheist in the world, how could he argue against the fact that I do believe in God? He could say “I 100% agree that you believe, but I just don’t think your belief is well-founded.”
So a question that arises then is “Who has the burden of proof?” The answer is simple. Whoever makes the claim has the burden. Suppose the atheist says to me “There is no God.” I ask “What’s your evidence God does not exist?” He then says to me “Well if He does, demonstrate that He does.”
Now let us suppose that I am incapable of doing that. What does that prove? It does not prove atheism. It just proves that I did not have sufficient reasons for belief. He still has asserted a belief and he still has to demonstrate it. We could easily leave with agnosticism. We do not know if He does or does not exist.
Now if I enter the debate and originally say that God does exist, I do indeed have the burden of proving my claim. If I am unable to do that, that still does not show atheism is false. It just shows my reasons were insufficient. At best, we are left with agnosticism.
So now let’s look at what atheism is. Is it the lack of belief? One of the first places I turn to is the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy article on the topic. You can find that here.
A relevant section is this part:
It has come to be widely accepted that to be an atheist is to affirm the non-existence of God. Anthony Flew (1984) called this positive atheism, whereas to lack a belief that God or gods exist is to be a negativeatheist. Parallels for this use of the term would be terms such as “amoral,” “atypical,” or “asymmetrical.” So negative atheism would includes someone who has never reflected on the question of whether or not God exists and has no opinion about the matter and someone who had thought about the matter a great deal and has concluded either that she has insufficient evidence to decide the question, or that the question cannot be resolved in principle. Agnosticism is traditionally characterized as neither believing that God exists nor believing that God does not exist.
Unfortunately, I do not really think this part is well-written. (Would includes?) On this, I do not see any real difference between what it calls negative atheism and agnosticism. Are there any other authorities we can go to? As it turns out, yes.
“Atheism is the position that affirms the non-existence of God. It proposes positive disbelief rather than mere suspension of belief.”
William Rowe The Concise Routledge Encyclopedia of Philosophy p.62
“Atheism, as presented in this book, is a definite doctrine, and defending it requires one to engage with religious ideas. An atheist is one who denies the existence of a personal, transcendent creator of the universe, rather than one who simply lives life without reference to such a being.”
Robin Le Poidevin Arguing for Atheism: An Introduction to the Philosophy of Religion p.xvii
And
But is there anything beyond what scholars of atheism say?
An atheist should hypothetically imagine a world where God exists. In this world, the claim of theism, God exists, is true. I understand atheists do not believe that, but Aristotle is said to have said that the mark of an educated man is to be able to entertain an idea without believing in it.
Now in this same world, imagine if you are an atheist, that you are still an atheist. That is pretty easy to do. In this case, atheism is true, in the sense that you lack God belief. However, that would also mean that its opposite, theism, is also true, since the a in front of the word theism is a negation. This would mean that two contradictory statements were true, which is impossible.
Okay. So maybe you want to change theism to mean just that someone has God belief. The problem with that then is, “What are we even debating?” The terms become simply statements about personal psychology and nothing more. You can go see a therapist and talk about what you feel about something, but a therapist will likely not try to argue that you do not feel it.
Now if an atheist wants to come and debate their feelings with me, well, okay. I don’t see the point. I’d rather talk about external reality. If you’re saying atheism is just a lack of belief, you’re really saying you are not informed enough to take a stand on the issue and if that is the case, why should I even bother debating you and why should you even try to argue me out of my position?
Be real instead. Atheism is saying that God does not exist. I think it’s a wrong position, but at least we can debate it.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
What about the Good Doctor and community? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
This is the show I probably resonate with the most.
Shaun Murphy is a brilliant surgeon on the spectrum who has a special gift of envisioning different ways to do surgery. When he enters “vision mode” he stares up and you get to see different parts of the body flowing together in his mind. After that, he comes out and he has the solution to the problem.
While that is always fascinating, what is most fascinating is getting to see Shaun grow as a person in the show. At first, the doctors either don’t want him to perform, or they handle him with kid gloves. The exception is a mentor figure he has in the show who has known him for years, Dr. Glassman.
Shaun learns from the staff and from his patients that come in. While he is brilliant in medicine, he is constantly struggling in social relationships. He asks those around him regularly what he should do in a certain situation.
The biggest part that reaches me is when he finds love and yes, winds up getting married in the show. He marries a neurotypical girl who takes the time to understand him and his condition. She is a perfect complement to him and when I see them together, it leaves me thinking about what I really want to have someday.
At times, Shaun does have breakdowns when things get hectic for him. I am thankful that I am not one who has this struggle, at least not in the sense that I tend to share it externally. Fortunately, his lady and Dr. Glassman are often both there to help him through these struggles.
At times, Shaun is often blunt and can see only the data and miss the emotional connection that his patients often need. This is again, something that he grows in throughout the show. I am not done with the whole series yet, but eventually, he even gets put in charge of other doctors under him and has to learn how to be a manager.
The big thing about this is community. As a seminary student, I find myself often communicating with others around me trying to understand. If I want to understand more about women, I will often go to women on the campus I know who are either married or in committed relationships. I will go to my professors to pick their brains on various topics and many I now consider not just my professors, but my friends as well.
Community is absolutely essential. As I am in therapy, my interest in gaming is something I point back to and my theme in therapy now is the theme to Final Fantasy IX, a song called A Place To Call Home. Home is where you are accepted just as you are and people do understand your silly little quirks, but also want to see you grow and succeed on your journey.
Friends are great, but of course, the real hope is to find a special lady again someday. When I see Shaun with his, it does develop in me a longing for the same. I am fine with a neurotypical girl provided she does understand that she’s marrying a man who is rather odd in many of his ways.
Well, that concludes my look for now at Hollywood and Autism. We’ll see what next week brings.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Can love be hard to find? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
Atypical is a series I never got to finish as divorce started becoming a reality in my life around that time. It involves a young man named Sam on the spectrum in the middle of his teenage years who decides it’s time to get a girlfriend. His family is unfortunately dysfunctional and his main friend helping him is a perv and he develops a crush on his therapist. I plan to start the series again as I never got past the first season.
Sam has a problem in that he seems to let everything out immediately. He goes to a girl that he is interested in and has been arranged to date in some way, and starts listing off a long list of character flaws of his and includes he’s never had sex. The girl says “You’ve never had sex?” She invites him back to her place and he is sitting on the edge of a bed nervous and she comes over and starts putting the moves on him to which he pushes her off. At that, she is angry and tells him to get out.
Yeah. That doesn’t go well.
So let’s talk about what it’s like on the spectrum.
My ex-wife and I met through a mutual friend and our first conversations were through this ancient service called AOL Instant Messenger. I’m really thankful that we started that way and were introduced by a friend because speaking in person to someone like that is quite difficult. My therapist and I have decided that while many people use small talk to engage with others, I use humor. I have a reputation and I have been told I am one of the funniest if not the funniest guys on campus.
That is doable, but just a regular conversation is extremely difficult. When I go out and do evangelism which I have to do weekly for my scholarship, I have to have someone else join me (We go in pairs anyway) to start the conversation. Once it’s started, I can try to find a way in.
If I go to the grocery store and want one of the sticks used to separate orders, I find it nigh impossible to go to someone in front of me and ask for the stick. I usually wind up gesturing wildly. Strangest thing, but they never seem to notice that.
Thus, when people come to me and say “Just go up to someone and ask her out”, I wish it was that simple. For a guy, it is saying “Go up to someone and throw yourself on the line and admit those difficult emotions and risk total rejection once more.” Any of those are hard to do for a neurotypical guy. It’s much harder to do for an neurodivergent guy.
What would make it easier? If I had some sign that there would be a positive response possible back. Unfortunately, men struggle with understanding when a woman is flirting and when she is not. It is again, much harder if you do not understand social cues to begin with. “Hey! That lady smiled. Is she flirting with me? Is she being polite? Is she possibly interested?”
Now once I have a relationship, I usually do quite well. Believe it or not, being on the spectrum does not mean you’re an emotional rock. I am actually quite the romantic. I like to do everything I can to put a smile on a lady’s face.
Yet like the initial conversation, that initial contact is difficult, and force of will often does not seem like enough to do it. It is also one of the reasons I am in therapy right now. I am working on building up those skills and learning how to communicate better.
When I did watch Atypical, I did relate to Sam and his struggles. I am curious what else will happen as he continues his journey. I also pray my journey is successful.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
What can we learn from Adam? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
When I was a student at Southern Evangelical Seminary, the movie Adam came out in the theaters. I went to see it with a friend of mine. I was dating the girl who is now my ex-wife at the time, but she lived in Atlanta around 200 miles away so our seeing it together wasn’t exactly convenient.
The movie is a romantic comedy as Adam is on the spectrum and he meets a woman named Beth and they fall in love. Beth has to accommodate a lot due to the way Adam is. Adam will often speak bluntly and sometimes, it is inappropriately. He asks Beth at their first meeting if she feels aroused and when the two go to an event together a lady asks them if they want to see some baby pictures. Adam says “No.”
There is another scene that resonated especially with me and there are many people on the spectrum who are like this and that is Adam going to his cupboard to get out a meal. It is largely filled with mac and cheese. Again, not everyone on the spectrum is like this, but some are. For me, I only eat foods I can eat with my bare hands. Others go by texture and other attributes to determine what they will and will not eat.
Not only that, but meal situations make me extremely nervous. Recently, there was an alumni event here on campus. I thought I should go so I can meet people and perhaps possible donors to my own ministry.
Unfortunately, it was a meal.
As I approached the cafeteria, I felt nerves coming over me. I even tried to find the backway in so I could avoid all the people. When I got to the room itself, I was immediately quiet and didn’t really know how to respond to anyone. I used to be a lot more capable of handling this, but I also had my ex-wife with me at the time. That was a stabilizing factor that helped me overcome the anxiety.
You really lose so much in a divorce.
I remember when I joined my church here, and I have told my pastor this, that it was myself and three other single guys. The pastor pointed that out and said “What these guys would most appreciate”
And I’m standing there thinking “Yeah. Give us some single ladies that we can meet.”
The pastor continued, “Is for some of you to invite them over to your house for a nice meal.”
Inside, I’m screaming.
Unfortunately, when you struggle with social situations, this makes it even harder as when do most people connect socially? Unfortunately, it’s at meals. I try to go to these kinds of events on campus to interact, but it’s extremely difficult. Crawfest where everyone had crawfish, a staple apparently in New Orleans, had me just with my head lowered the whole time not looking around at anyone or anything as all the smells and sounds and sights were just repulsive to me.
In the movie, when Beth and Adam go to a restaurant together on a date, she orders a meal for him in another language. When it arrives, what is it? Mac and cheese. For me, this is the kind of thing I would appreciate with a lady, though not mac and cheese for me.
When you meet someone on the spectrum, I recommend not making assumptions about food until you get to know them better. They could have sensitivities and idiosyncracies in that area. I personally would much rather connect over a game or an intellectual conversation than I would over a meal.
I won’t tell you how the movie turns out, but next time, I will cover a series that is all about romantic relationships.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
I get this kind of comment a lot. My former father-in-law used to joke he wanted to take me to Vegas sometimes. In reality, I do happen to be very good with numbers. My boss at work when needing to get some mathematical totals together will just ask me instead of using a calculator. I tell people if they pull one out in my presence, it’s an insult, unless they’re demonstrating I’m right.
The thing with Rain Man is he seems to live in his own world oblivious to what else is going on. He walks in on his brother having sex not even realizing what is happening. Rain Man is not at all capable of functioning on his own in the end world.
If there is one area that I can definitely relate to Rain Man in, it’s routine. I am not as extreme as he is. Rain Man and his brother have to interrupt another family of strangers just so that Rain Man can watch Judge Wapner on The People’s Court.
Routine is a way of providing order to life and I live by a strong routine. There’s nothing unusual about having a similar bedtime and having the alarm go off at the same time. What is unusual is that when I am on my work days, you can expect the same schedule. I have a snack at 10, noon, and 2. I will be going to the rest room at 11:30 and again at 3:30. On the way the second time, I will stop at the cafe in the seminary and get a tea. It will be a large with three Splendas and honey and they will tell me what kind they chose when I get back. I have a water bottle with me and I put a flavor enhancer in it and start drinking at 1:30. I absolutely do not leave until it is time at 5. I start closing routines at 4:55.
Sometimes, due to when the mailman arrives or other circumstances, there can be minor variations, but overall, this is how everyday goes for me there. I get home and call my folks on my Echo first. At 7, I get a shower in and then when I’m out, I watch an episode of a TV show on the Echo while I play Animal Crossing on the Switch. Two hours before bed I shut things down and get on my computer for some work, including schoolwork. An hour before I go to bed, I get ready with brushing teeth and emptying Shiro’s litter box. I play a word game on my tablet until around 10 minutes before the hour while listening to an audio book. When the lights go out, I normally spend a little bit of extra time looking up something online on my tablet and then go to sleep.
Friday night, I am asked by a student if I can give them a lift to the airport. They say they want to leave at 5:30. I don’t want to let them down, but wait. I need to wash my towels that day which I had planned before I got this. He is negotiable with the time so I eventually get him to push it back a little bit so I can get the towels in the dryer before I head out. That way, I can still get my shower in at the same time.
That might sound bizarre to you, but in my world, having a switch in my routine leaves me just anxious. If I know in advance something is coming, that’s not really a problem. I can work with it. If I do not know that, that can be a struggle.
That being said, I do not become catatonic in at least any external way. I have had years of experience hiding some reactions to things people say or do. Keep in mind in all of this, I am saying the way I relate as someone on the spectrum to someone like Rain Man. I know others are different. This is again the danger with Hollywood. Not everyone is alike.
Also in fairness to Rain Man, I can also be incredibly naive to what people are saying and doing at times. This is definitely a concern when it comes to women as if someone was flirting with me, I do not think I could tell. Your average neurotypical men struggles with this. How much more someone who is neurodivergent?
That being said, while I have only seen Rain Man once, it is a film worth seeing. Watch it, but remember it doesn’t describe everyone on the spectrum. Because someone doesn’t act identical to Rain Man doesn’t mean they’re not on the spectrum.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
Does Hollywood get Autism right? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
Recently, I was asked if I would take a fellow student to the airport. On the way, we start talking and I explain being on the spectrum. I later say that I am watching The Good Doctor now as I had stopped watching due to life events. I tell him it’s about a surgeon with autism. He asks me if I think that Hollywood gets autism right.
Fascinating discussion!
So why not blog about that?
So let’s answer the question straightforwardly. Do they get Autism right?
No.
Do they get it wrong?
No.
The problem with the question is that there is no one right way to represent Autism. Am I Rain Man? No, but I can see similarities. I can see similarities with me and Shaun Murphy on The Good Doctor. I can see ways I relate to Sam on Atypical. I understand some of what happens with Adam in Adam.
But there are also ways that I am vastly different.
The danger with any Hollywood presentation on such a complex spectrum is that people will look at you and think that you must be like that person. For some people, it will be abundantly obvious something is different about them. For others, it could be harder to tell. I recently sat down with one of the staff here at the seminary and was saying I could speak at churches on Autism and Christianity and I am highly qualified.
“Really? Why?”
I could have been knocked over with a feather at that point.
That’s only because I’ve spent years trying to learn social skills and how to blend in. In many ways, being in society for me can be like trying to play a game and everyone else around me knows the rules of the game and I have to try to wing it. I really think an interesting look that Hollywood could do with autism is a day in the life of a high-functioning person. Just show them even being greeted in casual conversation and then take a trip inside their head as time freezes and they start asking all these questions of what to say and how to interpret every single bit of body language they see.
That being said, the problem with being on the spectrum at times is it is an invisible condition. I’m at work at the seminary post office. The Fedex man comes in and expects me to talk like a regular person and respond to greetings. I can tell he is puzzled by my silence. Am I being intentionally rude? No. I just do not know what to say and even if I do, knowing what to say and being able to make myself say it are two different things.
I take a YouGov survey and at one point I am shown a picture of a woman’s face and asked “What is this woman feeling now?”
I look and look and look.
My answer?
“I am on the spectrum and I have no clue what she’s feeling.”
I really don’t.
Or picture being single like I am and wanting to remarry and yet not knowing what to do in your relationships with women you are interested in.
“Is she interested in me? How can I tell? Will she reject me if I say something? Will I look like a creep? How do you express something like this? Is she smiling because she likes me or because she’s being friendly?”
I could go on and on, but it’s a real struggle.
So this is just scratching the surface, but over this week I plan on trying to look at various ideas of Autism from Hollywood and how I relate to them. Since I have mentioned four different versions of Autism, I can do the next four days covering them and hopefully, you all will understand better the world I do live in and the world your autistic neighbors live in.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)
