Category: Evil

The Leaked Manifesto

What can we learn about the March shooting? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Many of us were quite surprised today to hear that some of the manifesto from the Covenant shooting has been leaked. It’s my understanding that this is not the whole, but what has been leaked has been verified. It’s been told that some of this is being taken out of context, though it’s honestly hard to think of what kind of context would make the sayings, especially about hoping to kill a lot of kids, be understandable.

So what are some take aways?

Well, one of the first that stands out to me is the girl saying that she was surprised she had not been caught, and indicated that she could have been in the summer of 2021? What was going on then? What was the FBI doing? It was a few months later that parents were being targeted at school board meetings by the FBI. Was that in the preliminary stages then?

There’s a reason a lot of people have lost trust in the FBI.

What of the police force? We seem to hear this many times. We heard it after the Parkland shooter. There were plenty of warning signs about the guy who did it, and yet despite numerous red flags, nothing was done. Then after the fact, we start talking about gun control, as if we need new laws when we are not enforcing the laws that we have.

Also, just so everyone knows, I am not naming the shooters in any of these. That is fully intentional.

Second, the shooter at Covenant made a check to make sure there was security. What if there had been? We don’t know, but is it possible that these children could have been saved with security? What we have to ask is if our children are worth it. I am quite certain that a group of people you could go to see if they would like to have security jobs at schools are our veterans. I strongly suspect they would love to have the job of protecting our children.

Now let’s also get into some moral categories. We have often been told about creating a dangerous political environment, but yet let’s compare this shooter to the one who shot up the Congressional baseball game. Both of them were told certain things about their opponents on the other side. Both of them then responded. We could also include the man who tried to attack the Family Research Council.

I also want to be clear on this point. I am not saying the people who speak in this sort of way are responsible. If you want to know who is responsible, it is the people who do the activities. I don’t hold Bernie Sanders responsible for what happened at the baseball game.

That being said, if you go around saying all white people are racist and about white privilege and everything else, don’t be surprised if some people believe you. If you want to say you are opposed to racism, you have to be opposed to all racism. If you are not, then you are really just practicing a reverse form of racism.

Also, as someone on the spectrum, sometimes, what we hear about is mental illness in all of these things. If someone was willing to do that kind of evil, then they must be mentally ill. They could be, but I don’t think it’s best to say mental illness every time. If we do, we miss one key point.

People are evil.

If it weren’t for the grace of God, any of us could do that kind of evil. The reason you haven’t is not because you’re just that incredibly good. It’s because you’ve submitted to some degree to reality be it the moral order you believe exists in the universe somehow or from a Christian perspective, God.

It’s easy to look back today and say, “If we had lived back then, we would not have participated in slavery.” The reality is, a lot of people living today would. That includes the people who say they wouldn’t. Many of us can look back on our own lives and say “I can’t believe I did XYZ” back then. Yes. You did. I did. We all have done things. Hindsight is 20/20 and instead of saying “I wouldn’t have done that!” we need to ask “What can I do to make sure I’m not the kind of person who does that?”

I remember years ago a friend told me something that has stuck with me. We often say that if we were the only one, Jesus would have died for us. He told me also that if we were the only one, we would have killed Him.

It’s easy to look back and say “I wouldn’t be like the Pharisees!” However, as soon as we say that, aren’t we being just like the Pharisees? Aren’t we considering ourselves morally superior? We would love to look back and think we are the heroes in the story of the Gospels. Maybe, just maybe, we could have actually been the villains.

There is a duty to be aware of evil from the other side, but never overlook what could be evil in your own side, more importantly, even in your own heart. People do evil sometimes because of mental illness, yes, but sometimes people do evil because people are just evil. It is a myth to think that if we could just get chemical imbalances all worked out, people would live pristine and pure lives.

That requires the grace of God and 100% sanctification which we will not reach in this life.

What we have of the manifesto should remind us that evil is real and we need to combat it. However, the main place we all need to combat it is ourselves. There but for the grace of God go I.

If you need that grace, it’s always available.

And of course, pray for the families of the victims. While this could be a step of closure for them, it’s also certainly a painful day.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Death Denial

Do we act like it’s no longer real? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Several years ago, a man named John Boswell wrote a book on Christianity, tolerance, and homosexuality. His thesis was that in Christian history, homosexuality really wasn’t viewed as that big of a deal and that Scripture could not be used to make a case against it. Boswell was himself a homosexual and claimed Roman Catholic (I say claimed since many Roman Catholics would not really accept someone approving of and practicing same-sex sexual relationships). There was certainly a lot of information put in the book and I thought I remembered him being on Unbelievable? one time to debate it.

So I looked it up and found out that since Boswell died in 1994, that I was probably wrong. However, I have to say I was not surprised that he died of AIDS. It’s my understanding that we have better treatments for AIDS now, but when it came out, it was a killer in the community of the same-sex attracted. It was originally even known as GRID for Gay-Related Immuno Deficiency.

That got me thinking about how this man spent so much of his life defending a practice that led to his death and not only his death, but the deaths of many others. For a look at how this can happen, look at And The Band Played On by Randy Shilts. Shilts was himself someone with same-sex attraction who died of AIDS.

It’s part of our culture that we always think that this won’t happen to us. Many of us remember growing up and thinking somehow we would escape death. Some potion of immortality or something would be found in our lifetime. I somewhere suspect that many Christians think that we are “The generation” because surely their time won’t come. Surely God won’t allow us to suffer.

We all do this. We know it because we do many things that are unhealthy every day. This is especially prevalent in our sex culture. People sleep around as if the action won’t have any consequences, and when they come, such as pregnancy, STDS, failed relationships, guilt, etc., they’re shocked. Our age is an age that thinks somehow we can shun personal responsibility and not suffer consequences. Watch a sitcom or a movie. No one gets an STD. I used to tell men about to marry that when they were preparing for sex for the first time, to think about everything they had seen in movies and TV and then throw it out because it’s completely unrealistic.

Death comes in like something of a shock to us even though it has been a companion with us for the longest time. One can play a game where the character gets several extra lives, and indeed, we need to have that suspended disbelief because frankly, none of us would play many games where if you died, that was it and you had to start all the way from the beginning.

My ex-wife and I used to know someone named Steve. Steve was a big and tough biker type dude, but someone as gentle as can be. You could see a picture of him cuddling a kitten. He got esophageal cancer and he was shriveled up in the end. How much so? I would look tougher than he did at that point. I hate saying it, but such was the case.

When he died, I remember being at the funeral home. I remember walking around at one point while others were socializing and I went to the room where the casket was and I was thinking this had to be a mistake. Death came for the wrong man. In a gaming mindset, part of me wished I could have had an RPG battle with death then and get my friend back. Completely unrealistic to think about? Yep. I think we can all relate somehow though.

We often react to not just death, but any suffering, as if there is something unusual in the world. Shouldn’t our lives be happy and joyous always? If anything, the level of freedom that we can have in this country (Living in America) would be astounding to our ancestors of the past. As I write this, I think that I do have scoliosis. Today, I walk straight because I was treated with the unbelievable treatment of a steel rod on my spine. Who would have thought of such a thing in the past, and yet here it is a reality. Me 100 years ago would be walking like Quasimodo instead.

Our challenge is not to defeat death. We can’t. Not only that, we don’t need to. It’s already been done. Christ conquered it on the cross. We can realize it as an intruder still, but we also need to learn to accept it as real. Denying death won’t make it go away. We can try to fight against reality all we want, but in the end, reality will always win.

However, once again, as Christians, that’s a good thing. Reality is Jesus Christ conquered death and rose again. I remember years ago working with a friend who is a devout Christian now, but was severely doubting and sometimes it was exhausting. One day I went to my emails and saw one from him with the subject line “Jesus of Nazareth.” I braced myself for an onslaught of questions.

Instead, I saw this.

“He really did walk out of that grave, didn’t He?”

I still smile even as I think about that and write it out.

Yes, He did.

In a temporal sense, sometimes we hate reality.

But in the end, the real God revealed in the real Jesus who walked out of that real grave will give us a reality we can all enjoy and love.

I look forward to it.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

The Problem of Good Vampires

Is it a concern when vampires become good? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I’m going through a fantasy series right now and in the last book, the main character is up against a contingent of vampires. I am quite enjoying the series and eager to see how it turns out. Vampires happen to be quite popular in our culture and Halloween time seems like a good time to talk about them.

Many of my generation know about vampires from playing the Castlevania games. Had Emil Hamilton not jumped in, they would have been called “Dracula Satanic Castle”, which means most of us would have never played them because our parents would have never bought such a game for us. Definitely a wise move since it has been a staple series.

The game traditionally involves a member of the Belmont clan who has a whip and sets out on a journey to slay Dracula. Later games didn’t always follow this rule, but at the start, this happened. In the third game, you could also switch between other characters, one of whom was Alucard, the son of Dracula. (Read his name backwards.) Alucard was also a vampire, but didn’t care for Dear Old Dad’s ways.

We can think of many other vampires in popular culture today. The Blade movies come to mind. There are a number of animes that have characters that are vampires. Then, there is obviously the Twilight saga.

An interesting concept to be sure to have a redeemed vampire, but could that also be a problem? Years ago, my ex-wife and I tried going through a book together that we never got around to finishing, but I really enjoyed. I don’t know where it is now or if I even still have it, but it’s called The Vampire Defanged by Susannah Clements.

From what I remember, the thesis was that originally, the vampire was an embodiment of sin. If you wanted to know what evil was, look at Dracula. As the book I am reading says now about the main vampire villain, he is the antithesis of life itself. He is an undead creature that chooses to live despite that he should be dead. He does not give life, but he takes it and spreads his death by turning the living into vampires. He cannot live in the light. He can bend others to his will and has no morals at all.

This is an evil indeed.

There is a benefit to evil being seen as truly evil. We need to see the vampire in these stories as the epitome of darkness. In Stoker’s work, he would be one that would be a fulfillment of the seven deadly sins. He would also not be defeated just by someone who was really tough and capable. They would have to be holy as well and have equipment that was holy. It wasn’t power that defeated the vampire so much as holiness.

Clements’s main thesis as I remember it was that the more we took sin seriously, the more the vampire was truly evil. The less we take sin seriously, the more we tame the vampire. Eventually, sunlight just makes them sparkle and they drink animal blood only to survive.

There is something cool about vampires being redeemed and becoming forces for good, but I can’t help but be concerned. Have we lost sight of evil? We could say that we are having true redemption, but perhaps we should consider.

Feel free to share your thoughts.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

How Do Miserable Christians Worship?

Is the average worship service the balm of Gilead?

I’m reading through Carl Trueman’s Minority Report which is a series of essays he has written. If you have not read Trueman, you need to read Trueman. He is one of the most brilliant writers of our age I have read. Anyway, today’s essay was about authenticity and he talked about it being based on one he wrote called “What Do Miserable Christians Sing?” and it has been his most appreciated piece ever judging by the replies he has got.

After all, if you go to your modern worship service, the majority of worship songs are happy songs. They’re meant to invite you into the joy of the Lord. I’m not saying that’s always wrong, but let’s remember some people are coming to church and they’re not happy. They’re actually miserable.

For me, being a divorced Christian in the modern church setting is hard. It’s hard to be in the community of believers when your personal community was torn to shreds. It’s hard when you hear people who are supposed to be in your age group or even younger talking about everything going on with their children and their spouses and you think about what you have lost.

Then you go into a worship service and the songs are all about how thankful you are and the joy you have in Jesus. It’s really hard to sing those songs and be authentic. You would really like to experience that, but you can’t. Not right now at least.

Are there songs for miserable Christians?

Yes. They’re called the Psalms.

By all means, not all of them are, but a number of them are lament Psalms and they were just as much part of worship as praise ones. They are no less part of Scripture than worship Psalms. God wanted them to be in the Bible just like He wanted joyous Psalms to be in there.

God wants us to have hymns of misery.

The Bible assumes sometimes we will be miserable. This isn’t just in the Old Testament. It’s in the New. Jesus is the man of sorrows, familiar with suffering. Paul says about death that we mourn, but not like those who have no hope. He also says to mourn with those who mourn.

By the way, sometimes, that is extremely helpful.

We can fault Job’s friends for what they did, and we should, but they did one thing right definitely. What was that? For the first part of their visit with him, they sat with him. They were silent. They were just there.

Sometimes, you may think you need to cheer up someone who is miserable, but sometimes, what they really want is not so much to be cheered up. They just want to be heard. They want to be understood. They don’t want a solution. They just want a friend.

I still remember one of the best sayings I got in my divorce. I was told, “Today sucks. Tomorrow will also suck, but it will suck a little bit less.” Of course, that moves in fluctuations. Sometimes, it hurts more than it did yesterday, but the general principle is sound.

Sometimes you will come to church miserable, and that is fine. Sometimes you will leave that way, and that is fine. If anything, we need to give a place for people to express misery at church. Those who are miserable can push the community away while at the same time wanting the community.

God gave Scripture to express negative emotions just as much as happy ones, and there’s a place for both in worship. Let us remember that God’s goal is not to give us temporary happiness. His ultimate goal is our holiness, and we will pass through some unhappiness in that.

Sing a song of misery if you need to.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

No. I Don’t Care About Pagan Origins.

Does where it came from really matter? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

“But Halloween is from paganism and is rooted in Samhain.”

So this the kind of conversation I had yesterday. First off, I said that point is highly debatable. The reality is that there have been more scholarly works written about Buffy The Vampire Slayer than about Halloween. Unfortunately, much of what you see on the internet is just nonsense. I really recommend the book Unmasking Halloween which is the best book I have read on this topic thus far.

So the first point I made was to dispute the Samhain connection. Well, that wasn’t going well as they didn’t want to hear any of it, so I tried another technique which I still stand by, but as expected, didn’t go well. I said that for the sake of argument, I am going to grant everything said about Halloween.

Then here’s what I say even if we grant that it fully came from the pagans and they did evil practices on this day.

So what?

I mean that. Who cares?

Let’s use one example I have heard used before. Wedding rings. There have been some claims I have heard that these are pagan in origin. Now let’s suppose I was married again and you were able to convince me that the rings that we exchange at our wedding are entirely rooted in paganism.

What would I do in response?

Absolutely nothing.

Why? Because when I put a wedding ring on a woman’s finger, I am not doing it to honor a pagan deity. I am doing it to honor my God and my wife. I am doing it as a symbol of my love for her and as a sign to the rest of the world that we are husband and wife.

I happen to believe in a God who redeems not just people, but redeems all of reality. This God could take something that was a symbol rooted in pagan tradition and change it so it becomes a symbol of His holiness and covenant and a representation of Christian teachings. God is in the business of transforming everything.

So what about Halloween? No one is worshiping the devil when they put on a costume and go door-to-door or take their children door-to-door and ask for candy. If anything, this would be seen as a victory. We took a day allegedly intended for evil, and we turned it into a day where kids travel the streets and get candy.

Not only this, but not everything in paganism was wicked and evil. We get our intellectual ways of thinking from the Greeks. We get our legal system from the Romans. We got Algebra from the Muslims. It would be a great loss to lose everything that came to us from the pagans.

Christians. Don’t be scared when someone says something is pagan in origin. First, you can investigate and see if it’s true. Odds are, it really isn’t. Second, even if it isn’t, so what? Do you do it to honor a pagan deity? No. You do it to honor Jesus. The one who honors a day does so to the Lord as Paul says.

Happy Halloween!

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

The Perfect World Does Not Exist

What is the perfect? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

“We believe God created this world to be perfect for us to live in.”

My evangelism partner said something similar to this as we went door-to-door. I told him I wouldn’t say that. I gave a brief answer why, but why not spell things out more in detail here?

What I am going to say also has really nothing to do with the age of the Earth. I think someone who holds to a young-Earth if they so choose could hold this. I am not interested in a deep debate about the science behind the matters. I am going by simple observational clues. Those who want to debate deeper science can do that, but I realize I am definitely not knowledgable enough in the area to do that.

I was asked after saying that that if this world wasn’t perfect, what was it? That was a simple question to answer. I said what the Bible says. Good. This world was made good.

Could this world even be perfect? What would that entail? After all, the world is going to be changing constantly. Will it be moving from perfect to imperfect? Certainly not. Imperfect to perfect? Then it wasn’t made perfect. Degrees of perfection? In a certain sense, that is understandable, but that still means we don’t have perfect as most of us understand it.

So let’s move on to other points. For one thing, many animals were created with attributes that make no sense in a perfect world. For instance, the digestive system of creatures that eat meat and their teeth are very different from those that eat grass products.

Also, consider other creatures. My favorite example is the porcupine. Did it ever not have quills? Could the chameleon always change its color to hide? Did poisonous creatures suddenly get the ability to pass on poison to targets? What about mayflies? They live an extremely short time. What would happen if they never died?

But what about Romans 5:12? Through sin, death came into the world!

I don’t see any reason to think that this means all physical death. I take it to mean spiritual death, the death due to sin. Consider two points in addition.

First off, why is there a tree of life in the garden if there is no need for man to sustain life? My theory is that man is created potentially immortal, but that would have been by continuing sustenance from the tree of life. God alone is said to be inherently immortal.

Second, God tells Adam and Eve that if they eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they will die. Imagine if He said, “You will florble if you eat the fruit.” My writing here has the word florble underlined red. It doesn’t recognize it. There’s a reason for that. I made it up.

For the threat to have any meaning, the word would have to be understood by Adam and Eve. They had to know what awaited them if they disobeyed. Somehow, they did.

Also, if you do believe God knows the future, then you would have to have it be that this world went from perfect to imperfect, and if it could do that, well, it wasn’t perfect to begin with. However, you also have to know when God made the world, He knew mankind would fall. He knew this world would have evil throughout it soon.

Okay. Well what about Heaven? Will that be perfect? No. It will not.

It will be good and it will have no evil, but imagine this. Could we not add one more person and it would be a better experience? One more angel? Anything like that?

In Heaven, there will be no suffering and no evil, but there will always be ways things could be better because we are all less than perfect by nature. God alone is perfect. Everything else is good and lacking nothing that is fitting for them, but they are not perfect.

The perfect world doesn’t exist.

The perfect God does.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

An Autistic Christian Responds to Greg Locke

Am I demonized? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

There are a number of pastors that really don’t belong in the pulpit. One example is someone like Greg Locke. He’s done such crazy things as burning Twilight and Harry Potter books. (I personally don’t mind burning Twilight books, but it’s not because they have vampires in them.) I have had brought to my attention recently how he said that children can be demonized based on how they act, but the doctor calls it Autism. I finally found a clip of it being used here.

So let’s start with some points of agreement.

First off, I do fully agree that God can heal people. If God wanted to heal me of my Autism, He can do that. God can bring people back from the dead and create a universe from nothing. Healing someone of a condition is child’s play. The same can apply to OCD or Down’s Syndrome or cancer or any other condition.

Second, I do agree that if a child is having problems in the church, parents should try to do something and I would add that they should work with the church staff so that everyone involved can have a better experience. Some children on the spectrum could have some sensory issues. I remember when I was a child, I never liked it when our pastor got in the center of the stage and started yelling.

But let’s get to the real deal here.

Locke makes claims such as saying that words like Autism show up nowhere in the Bible. Sure. So what? I interact with JWs who tell me the word Trinity shows up nowhere in the Bible. Somehow, we got this silly idea that only words that show up in the Bible are acceptable to use. Am I to think that cancer, influenza, polio, and other diseases don’t exist because those words aren’t used in the Bible?

Locke also says he’s not saying a child who is said to be autistic is demon-possessed, but that they could be demonized. As the video above asks, what is the difference? The most could be one is being controlled and one is being influenced. For parents who are struggling, Locke adds to their burden by saying demonic activity is responsible for their child’s experiences. Are they to think that they don’t have faith then?

Now I know I have said to not talk about one’s own self so much, but when it comes to autism, I think that is different. After all, if I am going to give the perspective of a Christian on the spectrum, the one I know best is myself. I will then talk about what it is like, the good and the bad both.

I became a Christian at the age of 11 when I heard the gospel at a Baptist church. The Bible shaped my life and I was always in church thanks also to the influence of my parents who raised me Christian. My parents never had to worry about me behaviorally. No illegal drugs. No going out partying. No alcohol. No porn. Not even profanity. While I am divorced now, I stayed a virgin until I married and I aim to remain chaste until I remarry.

I struggle sometimes still with interactions and I was thankful to find gamer friends in school that I could unite with. Video games and games like that have been a bonding tool for me. I went to Bible College after high school and came to develop a love for Christian apologetics that I discovered there.

I knew I wanted to go to seminary in North Carolina, yet I lived in Tennessee. I also knew how protective my parents were and that I would have to convince them I could live on my own. Thus, I went out apartment hunting secretly and one day, came home and told them I put money down on an apartment. I was going to live on my own for a year and then work on getting into seminary.

I moved to seminary with a friend named David from Missouri and apologetics became a way also that I met people, though in my cases, I relied on David for social guidance. I did marry and I can say my wife was a calming influence on me in many ways. I have written enough about the divorce before and I don’t want to say more about it.

I moved back in with my parents and knew I wanted to finish my Master’s. Thus, I applied for New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary where I had spoken before. This would be the furthest away I had ever been from my parents and on my own, aside from my cat Shiro who sits behind me on my laptop carrying case as I speak. I am working on a Master’s in Philosophy and plan to get a PhD. My plan now is to study on video games and Christianity and our need for a quest.

There are benefits of being on the spectrum. My mind can be a virtual encyclopedia able to churn out random trivia facts easily. I love doing difficult mathematics in my head. My Dad sometimes contacts me about a word game he plays where you have to unscramble a seven-letter word and he can just tell me the letters and I can do it. I also have a great ability to multi-task. I will play a game here at home while watching videos on YouTube, usually something educational. I am reading through multiple books at the time in addition to what I have to read for school.

I also enjoy humor. Students on campus know me well as a cut-up where they can come into the post office on campus where I work and I can immediately say something humorous. It is especially funny for me when I take people literalistically. There are a number of professors who get in on my jokes as well and I love to see people leaving the post office laughing.

This is not to say there aren’t difficulties. I hate small talk. My therapist and I have decided humor is actually my small talk. I can very easily miss social cues and I don’t know when to tell if someone is joking or not a number of times.

I also can have a difficulty expressing myself and my own wants and desires. If I am at the Wal-Mart for instance and I want to get a divider in the check-out line so I can put my own stuff down, I cannot seem to be able to say the words “Excuse me. Can I get a divider?” I normally speak with gestures a number of times if I don’t know someone well.

This also makes dating really hard. How can you tell if a girl is interested? I don’t know. How do you express your own desires and overcome speaking barriers when you want to ask someone out? Don’t know. I realize other guys struggle with this, but guys on the spectrum struggle more.

I don’t understand how other students interact and how friendships are formed. When I go to a church service and I see people just communicating with one another, I don’t understand what’s going on. I hate it when people come up to me and just touch me, even if it’s something like a pat on the back or something. I remember a therapist once asking me “How would you like to respond when someone does that?” and saying “A judo toss would be nice.”

I know my diet is very limited due to my being on the spectrum. When other students enjoy crawfest here where everyone has crawfish, I go because I try to step out of my comfort zone, but it is a nightmare experience for me. I try to avoid going into the cafeteria when meals are going on.

But you know what? Generally, I am thankful for my life and being on the spectrum because I want to be a blessing to others. I have been told that at the next Defend, I will be speaking not just on video games and Christianity, but also Autism and Christianity. I realize I am high-functioning, but I want people to know Autism is not a death sentence.

My mother and I sometimes talk about how doctors long ago told my mother that I would be bound to her for the rest of my life. I would never go to high school or graduate or live on my own or drive a car or go to college. Nope. None of those things. My parents refused to accept that. I refused to accept that. Being a gamer, I learned to push myself and face challenges. Today, I live over 600 miles away from my parents working on my Master’s and driving my own car and working at the seminary post office.

No, Pastor Locke. I am not demonized. I have struggles like everyone else does in many ways. I have some struggles unique to my condition, but also, I wouldn’t want to be cured of this condition. I like the benefits I have from it.

As for my own Christianity, I would tell you to listen to people who have heard me from the pulpit before. I am sure many of them would tell you of a guy who loves his God and wants to tell the truth of Christianity. You would see in me a guy who wants to do everything he can to help out his fellow man and can’t stand to see someone needlessly suffering. You would see someone who wants to bring joy to others, but at the same time for those I trust, someone who is deep and real with his own pains, hurts, and insecurities.

No, pastor. My behavior is not the result of demonization. When I do act in ways I shouldn’t from my condition, I do stress that autism can be an explanation for why I do things, but if they’re wrong, it’s not a justification. I once again ask that people work with me. Thankfully, I have found people online and offline that have been working with me.

Speaking of online, I also want to stress that the internet has let people like me find their voice. I still get terrified at the thought of face-to-face evangelism, but put me behind a computer screen and I take on anyone I can. That also includes expressing myself in this blog.

Step down, Pastor Locke, and give your position to someone who is more worthy. Give it to someone who truly understands the flock and seeks to love the flock. Give it to someone who will not go to struggling parents and weigh them down even more.

There are plenty of people out there like that. They won’t be hard to find.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

 

Do We Remember?

Do we remember 9/11? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I normally write these blogs now a day ahead of time. That’s just the nature of the beast with working a job on campus and with having classes as well. Sunday night, I’m writing and when I schedule the blog, I see that the next day is 9/11. I’ve already written a blog. I don’t want to change it.

That kind of saddened me. I wonder if it’s natural with the passage of time. It could be like remembering the anniversary of the death of a loved one. It gets harder and harder to deal with. I remember when the day came that would have been my 11th anniversary, I was dreading how I would handle it. Nowadays, it doesn’t even register a lot of times.

At the same time, there is an awkwardness on campus around here. I know many students here that have no memory of 9/11. Some of them were too young when it happened. Some of them weren’t even born when it happened. These people have never lived in a world where the Twin Towers were standing. Naturally, I don’t fault them for it, but I realize these are different times.

My parents grew up in the generation that saw Kennedy assassinated. I can’t relate to that at all. I don’t know if they still remember that every time when that day comes around. Maybe not.

When the Challenger exploded, I was five years old. I really don’t remember much about that experience. There’s no doubt for me that politically, 9/11 was the defining moment of my generation. Yes. I can still remember where I was when I first heard the news. Nothing else really comes close.

I do know I lost sight for a time and thus am writing this blog late. That again leaves me wondering if that means the impact of it is lessening. In some cases, it has to. How would it be if the impact of negative events in our lives never lessened? I tell people that my divorce still hurts every day, but it sure is a relief it doesn’t hurt as much as it did then.

We cannot expect any emotion to last forever, which is a good thing, even for a good emotion. Lewis once wrote that it’s a good thing the feeling of falling in love doesn’t last or else we would never be able to function in our lives. Many people have an ecstasy come over them when they come to Christ, but that also doesn’t last or else we would never learn how to walk through struggle. People could likely become Christians only because they want good feels.

Despite that, we can remember the lessons regardless. I can lose a loved one and not feel the pain and still remember the good times and the lessons that I learned from them. I no longer have the pain from scoliosis surgery, but I sure can remember the times that I couldn’t walk and how I shouldn’t take those for granted. The problem is, learning lessons does require more effort. It takes more to work on those and practice them. It takes virtue.

Let’s hope this generation coming up learns that, or else we could repeat history again.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Why Does God Allow Abuse?

If someone has been abused, what do you say about why God allowed it? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Yesterday I wrote about abuse, but I didn’t say much about why it is allowed. This is always the kind of question you don’t really want to get because in many ways, the person is searching for answers perhaps to try to make sense of their lives. Many of us have gone through a trial of suffering and wondered what was going on.

When my divorce was becoming a reality, I prayed hard every night. I wanted a healing for my marriage. I wanted this nightmare to go away and things to be the way they should. I wanted God to show up in a remarkable way, or really just any way, so that the day could be saved and I would have a happy marriage. Surely God would want to do this! Right?

All I can say is God allowed me to get divorced and well, I don’t like it, but I have also learned He didn’t owe me a marriage and I just need to keep serving regardless and hope that door opens again someday. That being said, I know that’s not the same as abuse still. After all, in abuse, you are actively being hurt and seeking an end to pain. I say it though because I want those of us dealing with this to think about what is the greatest pain in our lives we went through that God DIDN’T answer the way we wanted.

The thing is, an abuser in many ways becomes a controller. One lives constantly with the pain that has come about because of the abuse. This is something that occurred to me as I had to move in to my parents’ house again after my divorce, feeling like a failure in many ways as a 40+ year-old man having to do this again. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful to them for taking their son in again, but it wasn’t where I wanted to be as much as I love my parents.

Yet I told myself that I have been playing games all my life. Will I not try to approach this the same way? I can either keel over and be a victim, or I can get up and be a victor. The motto “Play to Win” became an anthem in my life.

Ultimately, I also encourage people to do this. Choose to be a victor. I know some people going through divorce can seek revenge. I earnestly battle not to within myself. The only exception is this other saying I try to live by. “The best revenge is a life well-lived.” Holding hostility does no good.

For abuse victims, I wonder if it could be the same. Can you learn to be a victor? Can you be able eventually to forgive internally at least your abuser? Could you want their well-being to take place? I think about someone I have met who has made a ministry from overcoming her abuse to helping others overcome abuse. You can find her here.

Yet the question is still unanswered. Why does God allow it?

Why?

Folks. Unless you are 100% absolutely sure that you have a divine message, which I seriously doubt you do, the best answer is really, “We don’t know.” Does that mean atheism is true? Not even close. If anything, atheism just makes the problem worse. As I have argued elsewhere, you gain nothing removing God from the equation. After all, you still have the evil. You have just removed the source of goodness and justice.

We can say generally the reasons God allows evil, but why a particular evil is allowed? That cannot be said without divine revelation. Too often we in an effort I suspect to appear spiritual try to act like we know the will of God. We do more harm than good. Scripture instead tells us to mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep.

There are good works out there on the problem of evil, but the best answer to one in the pain is not an argument. It is a friendship with them. It is showing them love and being willing to bear their suffering with them. Will there come a time later to discuss the problem of evil? Of course, and it should be done when the person is ready.

Some of you might be disappointed by that answer and were hoping for some major insight you could use in this situation. There isn’t one. Evil ruins so much and we need to realize that. We know Jesus is the answer ultimately, but we don’t have all the answers on an individual level. We shouldn’t claim to.

We do know we should love on an individual level.

Let’s do what we know.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Clergy Abuse

What do you say to someone who was abused in the church? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I was talking with someone on Facebook recently who was making an argument about the Catholic Church and children being abused. I asked the question of if they condemn the public school system. After all, the case of abuse by teachers in the public school system is actually far worse statistically than it is in the church, be it Catholic or Protestant or Orthodox.

That being said, there is one way that it is definitely worse in the church. While all teachers should care for the welfare of children and put the children first, it is far worse when those who claim the name of Christ abuse children. That is directly contradictory not just to a job code, but also to the very faith they claim to represent.

Let’s face it with something I hope we can all agree on. Abuse is evil. Abuse of children is evil. Abuse of animals is evil. Abuse of adults is evil. Abuse is never okay no matter what kind it is.

Now normally, when I dialogue with someone who brings up the abuse scandal though, I often get the impression they’re wanting to just use it to bash Christianity. After all, if abused kids are the problem, then you should equally condemn the abuse in the public school system. As a Christian, I can equally say I condemn all of it. There are horrible people out there who should not be clergy. There are wonderful people out there who I am thankful are clergy. The same applies to teachers. The problem isn’t so much the worldview as it is, well, just people.

The person I was talking to told me they were abused by a youth pastor and prayed to Jesus every night for it to end. So what do you say then? There’s no real grounds upon which to question the story and I can say I can understand how if someone had that happen, they would have a hard time with Christianity.

Note I am not saying it is a rational reason to think Christianity is untrue, but if you are undergoing abuse and you pray and it doesn’t go away, one can understand why one has a hard time trusting God. It’s like people who grew up with abusive fathers and then hear that God is Father. There’s a whole lot to deal with.

So what do you say, especially if you’re not a licensed professional counselor?

Let’s start with one thing you don’t say. “I understand.” You don’t, and when people are grieving and you haven’t gone through a similar experience, you don’t say that. If I met someone going through the pain of divorce, I could tell them I understand how painful that is. If I met someone who had lost a child, I could not tell them I understand that.

One of the other things to do if you are in person is sometimes to not say anything. Just listen. Just be a comfort. Let the person cry or scream or do whatever they need.

I also try to not really answer the problem of evil there. Now on Facebook, this is a bit different since you have to say something. I did make sure to ask regularly if this person had gone to see a therapist. I never got that answered, but anyone who has gone through abuse needs to see a therapist.

I did try to point out that if Christianity is true, there is at least hope. Justice delayed is not justice denied. Someday, those evil people and all who defended them will get justice. Sometimes, the whole church can take part in the cover-up. It is better to them to admit there is evil in their midst and instead blame the, in their eyes, alleged victims.

By the way, this never happened to me, but having gone through divorce and talked to others who have, I know of too many stories where an innocent party was divorced and the church was hardly helpful to them. The church should always be willing to show the love of Christ to those who are suffering.

Ultimately, until a person gets past their emotional wounds, a rational argument really won’t make sense to them or be effective. Definitely pray for them. I have been praying for this person every night ever since hearing about this.

Also, you’re likely to not bring resolution by yourself. You’re a part of a longer chain of people working on an individual. Now it could be you’re the final link in that chain, but don’t presume that. You might be Paul or you might be Apollos. God will bring the growth either way. Play whatever part you have well.

Finally, let’s all do our part to end abuse wherever it may be. Definitely this is so in the church. I have no problem with thorough background checks being done on those who will work with our most precious resource, our children.

And of course, if you yourself are an abuse victim, get help for it. No shame in that. I hope eventually, you will find complete healing in the person of Jesus for what has happened to you.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)