Deeper Waters

This sounds like such an odd thought for me to type out. As soon as I typed out the title, I had to admit it sounded odd. Why? Because we don’t think about this much in church. When was the last time you heard a sermon about the humor of God? When was the last time you laughed at a strong point made in Scripture in a funny way?

Jewish humor had much exaggeration in it. Let us consider some statements Jesus made.

“Better to enter Kingdom of Heaven with one hand than to have your whole body thrown into Hell.”

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man enter the kingdom of God.”

“Take the speck out of your own eye before taking the plank out of your brother’s eye.”

Each of these statements and others, while making a point, would have been understood as a joke also. Doesn’t it make sense? Think about hearing a dry and boring preacher. Do you really want to hear them again? Crowds flocked to Jesus though. Now there was the bonus of miracles of course, but it could also be because Jesus was a fun guy and also when he preached.

Consider also that even before he ever did a miracle, he and his disciples were invited to the Wedding of Cana. Weddings are fun events. Could it be Jesus was invited because he was a guy people liked? Believe it or not, it is actually possible to enjoy a sermon. It is actually possible to have fun and laugh while making a valid and biblical point.

Now what about our view of God? If we believe Jesus reveals to us who God is, we’d better have a way to include humor in the portrait. I honestly believe that many times we look at God and think he is boring. It is a great tragedy in the church today that people get the impression that God is boring.

I believe it’s the opposite. It is not we who make God boring. It is he who reveals us to be the boring ones. He’s a far greater pleasure seeker than we are. He created a whole universe to invite others into his love and Christ is the one who went to the cross for the joy set before him.

We think God spoils our fun. No. If anyone spoils our fun, it’s us. God is not opposed to fun. In fact, his way is the most enjoyable way overall. That doesn’t mean that every second is spent in the time of your life, though I think with him in mind it could be, but in the long-term, the Christian life is the most exciting of all.

What we say of God is actually how we should see ourselves in that sense. God is not boring and if we think he is, the problem is with us. God does not want to spoil our fun and if we think he does, the problem is with us. We’ve blamed God way too long when we have no one to blame but ourselves.

And sadly, if we believe that about God, is that also what we’ve shown the world about him? Do you really see God as enjoyable or is he just practically lifeless out there? He just exists and he’s not doing much more than existing. Now I know I disagree with much people says he does, but he is far from non-active. He is the most active of all.

Oh Lord. Do forgive us for making you boring. May we see the joy that you have prepared for us and realize how essential it is to our Christian walk.

Some of you might be thinking this title is blasphemous. Instead, I think it in a way of treating things like they are. Before you start to write me off as a heretic or blasphemer, I simply ask that you read the entirety of what I say here.

I do Scripture reading in the morning and in the evening. Last night, I read Isaiah 44. If you’ve read Isaiah, you should know that at this point, Isaiah is challenging the idolatry of his day. Now he has spoken about it a number of times and each time, he finds it simply incredible that people believe in idols. Let me let the prophet speak for himself.

6 “This is what the LORD says—
Israel’s King and Redeemer, the LORD Almighty:
I am the first and I am the last;
apart from me there is no God. 7 Who then is like me? Let him proclaim it.
Let him declare and lay out before me
what has happened since I established my ancient people,
and what is yet to come—
yes, let him foretell what will come.

8 Do not tremble, do not be afraid.
Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago?
You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me?
No, there is no other Rock; I know not one.”

9 All who make idols are nothing,
and the things they treasure are worthless.
Those who would speak up for them are blind;
they are ignorant, to their own shame.

10 Who shapes a god and casts an idol,
which can profit him nothing?

11 He and his kind will be put to shame;
craftsmen are nothing but men.
Let them all come together and take their stand;
they will be brought down to terror and infamy.

12 The blacksmith takes a tool
and works with it in the coals;
he shapes an idol with hammers,
he forges it with the might of his arm.
He gets hungry and loses his strength;
he drinks no water and grows faint.

13 The carpenter measures with a line
and makes an outline with a marker;
he roughs it out with chisels
and marks it with compasses.
He shapes it in the form of man,
of man in all his glory,
that it may dwell in a shrine.

14 He cut down cedars,
or perhaps took a cypress or oak.
He let it grow among the trees of the forest,
or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow.

15 It is man’s fuel for burning;
some of it he takes and warms himself,
he kindles a fire and bakes bread.
But he also fashions a god and worships it;
he makes an idol and bows down to it.

16 Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
over it he prepares his meal,
he roasts his meat and eats his fill.
He also warms himself and says,
“Ah! I am warm; I see the fire.”

17 From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
he bows down to it and worships.
He prays to it and says,
“Save me; you are my god.”

18 They know nothing, they understand nothing;
their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see,
and their minds closed so they cannot understand.

19 No one stops to think,
no one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
“Half of it I used for fuel;
I even baked bread over its coals,
I roasted meat and I ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
Shall I bow down to a block of wood?”

20 He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him;
he cannot save himself, or say,
“Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?”

21 “Remember these things, O Jacob,
for you are my servant, O Israel.
I have made you, you are my servant;
O Israel, I will not forget you.

22 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
for I have redeemed you.”

23 Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this;
shout aloud, O earth beneath.
Burst into song, you mountains,
you forests and all your trees,
for the LORD has redeemed Jacob,
he displays his glory in Israel.

Honestly, go through and read his argument. See if you don’t laugh at some points. The way he sets it out is a mocking tone. How can someone not laugh if they are really approaching the text and treating it properly? Yeah. Of course this is Holy Scripture, but why can the holy never be funny?

Have you never laughed at a joke a pastor told during a sermon? Does he not tell the jokes also to make a point? As one who has been in the pulpit a number of times, I try to use humor at some points every time. It helps to make a light mood and it actually helps to aid recall. People can remember jokes easily and if they can connect a point with the joke, all the better!

My concern at this point then is that we not foster an attitude and a view of God that hinders us from reading Scripture as it is to be taken. As my roommate walked through here last night and saw me reading my Bible, he did see me laughing. I couldn’t really help it, and I had no shame in doing it. Isaiah made his point brilliantly and it was funny.

As I ponder it, it makes me wonder how the people responded. How could they not see the futility of what they were doing? (Unfortunately, Scripture records the hardness of hearts well. Jeremiah’s audience after Babylon came thought that it might have been because they hadn’t been honoring the pagan gods enough.)

This is also an excellent argumentation technique that Isaiah is using. Let’s remember that the people of the time knew how to argue their case. Isaiah was wanting his people to reason to see the truth of what he said. One way to show a view is false is to show the absurdities that exist if that view is true.

What do we get out of this passage then? Well, we get a good laugh and we get a good lesson in how to argue. We also get something else. We also get some joy in seeing that people in the biblical times used argumentation like we do today and enjoyed showing the absurdity of false views. If they enjoyed expressing it, should we not enjoy reading it?

In “The Case For The Real Jesus”, Lee Strobel interviews Daniel Wallace on textual criticism. For those who don’t know, this is how we recover what the original documents of the NT or any ancient document for that matter said. However, Wallace makes some remarks also about how the church seems to be lacking.

Wallace mentions that the church needs to start studying the Scriptures hard, which is something I’ve stated for awhile. The church has lost its intellectual edge that it used to have so strongly. The church in history preserved the great writings by both Christians and non-Christians and studied them. Do we even read them today?

However, he also mentioned the problem in that we have the view that Jesus is supposed to be the personal buddy of all of us. In doing so, we have too often forgotten that he is the sovereign Lord of the universe and while we are supposed to boldly approach the throne of grace, we must remember always that we are approaching a throne.

This might seem bizarre, but is it really? Consider if you were best friends with the President for instance. Does that mean you can call him up whenever you want and have him do whatever you’re wanting to do at that moment? Does that mean that when you’re with him and in the public eye that you can act the way you would in private?

Consider if you were going for a job interview and you really needed and wanted the job. What would you do? You’d dress in your finest clothes, make sure your hair was impeccable, and have all the green stuff removed from between your teeth. You’d have good posture at the meeting and answer as cordially as you could.

For my fellow bachelors, consider what it would be like if you were going out on a date with a lady that you really wanted to impress. You’d spend twice as long in the shower as you’d wash all the grime off of you even more than before, you’d get your best cologne, if you shaved, you’d make sure you were completely clean-shaven, you’d straighten out your car and probably wash it thoroughly, (Some of you might leave the windows open to wash yourself at the same time) and you’d get your best and neatest clothes out to wear. This is the girl after all!

Yet too often, we treat the Lord of the universe casually, and I know that I am quite guilty of this as well. I confess that this is an area I need to work on. When we treat him as casual, we lose out on who he is. When we realize he is the sovereign Lord of the universe, then we realize just that. We realize that he is in charge. He’s not just a friend we call. He’s the first one on our list as he is the one in charge.

I try to get this in with my prayer practice at church. At my old church, we’d stand for songs and then we’d keep standing for a time of prayer. I would sit in the back with my fellow youth and I’d stand for the songs, but when it came time to pray, I would sit down. Why? For me, this was a way of remembering who I was approaching. It was reminding myself that God is absolutely holy. I am not worthy without Christ to approach him. He is God and I am but a man.

Could it be we don’t pray at times because the stark reality of who we’re praying to hasn’t hit us? Last night I thought of how Moses even said to God “Now show me your glory.” When was the last time that I really wanted to see the glory of the Lord? Have I really thought about who he is?

I agree with Wallace. We need to remember who we’re approaching. We do have a friend in Jesus of course, but let us remember that he is more than a friend. He is our Lord.

I think it’s about time to wrap this series up. It’s been an interesting time. Of course, I’ll be writing on topics relating to sexuality from time to time, but I wanted to do something more long term like I did on hearing the voice of God. Readers can expect that this will happen every now and then.

If there is something I am concerned about with the increasing number of sermons I hear on sex, it is that we hear negatives only. We always are told how we must practice self-control and how we should avoid temptation and how this is only for marriage and all the diseases we can get and how scarred we’ll be if we make mistakes and guilt we’ll have later on.

Now, I think there is truth to that, but I am just concerned that while we hear the negative side, we don’t hear the positive, and that side needs to be heard.

We need to hear about the joy of sex. We need to hear about the joy of marriage. More specifically, we need to hear about the joy of sex in marriage.

We talk about how there is too much sex on TV today and in movies. However, it is there because the public is getting a message they enjoy. Why not get it from the married people today? Why aren’t married people putting forth an exciting picture of their marriage to where people would say “I want that!”?

Now we might talk today about young people today seeing marriage as confining and negative and something to be avoided. We can condemn that they have a false view of what marriage is to be, and I do. However, we must face the brute fact that they got that view from somewhere. Could it be from watching the older generation in marriage?

Look at how you present yourself to the world if you’re married. Is it something exciting and vibrant? Or, is it just something in your life? (For all Christians, we could ask the same thing about the presentation of our faith. If it’s just something in our life, why should anyone else want it after all.)

Do you complain about your marriage more than you boast in it? When you’re with other people, do you complain more about your spouse or boast about how awesome they are? Of course, I know we all joke some about our spouses some, but what impression are you giving people? You must be sure of that.

How about your children? Do they know that your marriage is extremely important in your life? With our high divorce rate, who can blame them for thinking we don’t value marriage and if we don’t, how can we tell them that they should? Furthermore, if you have older kids, what about your life in the bedroom?

Of course, I realize that this is time alone for you and your spouse, but do your kids know that this is an important part of your life? Mothers. Are you raising your daughters to know that this is something good that they can enjoy and they should wait til marriage for a man to enjoy it with? Most often, we usually get the message one author said a minister gave her in that he was told two things about sex. First, that it was dirty. Second, that he should save it for someone he loves.

Is that far from the boat for many?

Dads. What about you? Are you telling your son how awesome this is, but at the same time, showing him the boundaries God set in this awesome relationship? When we break the relationships between atoms in the physical world, Hiroshima and Nagasaki are the result. Imagine what it does in the spiritual world when we break sexual bonds. The impact is more atomic. Are you teaching your sons this?

What about your presentation in the community? Are you known for arguing and bickering? I realize all couples have their arguments, but what are you known for? If people make jokes about how you arrive at church Sunday all friendly but start arguing when you get in the car, there’s a problem.

Remember also that if you have children, they won’t hesitate to tell how things really are. When they start dating, are they going to have a good role model to follow? Do the daughters want to grow up to be like Mom and do the sons want to grow up to be like Dad?

And ministers, what about you? When you preach on sex, are you only giving the do nots? Have you ever touched Song of Songs in a sermon and talked about the joy of sex? Have you ever turned to passages like Proverbs 5:18-19? I would love to hear ministers preach on the joy of sex instead of just the “Do nots.” Yeah. I understand they’re important, but so is the positive side.

And for all of us, have you considered that sexuality is God’s gift to you? If you’re a man, God’s gift to you is that you’re masculine. He could have made you feminine, but he made you masculine for a reason. It’s his gift to you. Are you thanking God for your masculinity and trying to live to be more of a man in his eyes every day?

If you’re a woman, then in the same way, your femininity is God’s gift to you. He could have made you a male, but he made you female. Are you also thanking God for that? Are you being the best lady that God would have you to be? Are you living up to a proper ideal of femininity every day?

Friends. Sexuality is important. I recall a friend once saying that it’s talked about in the Bible all the time because he knew we’d be thinking about it all the time. God treats it seriously. So should we. Are we doing that? Are we sharing the joy of sexuality and marriage with the next generation?

The future of the family and then our civilization I believe is at stake. We can’t afford to show a bad example.

This is another difficult one to write. Divorce is a sad reality in our world today. What is even sadder is that the number of Christian marriages ending in divorce is not that different from the number of non-Christian marriages ending in divorce. There are families I have seen growing up where I was friends with their sons and for some reason, they decide they can’t do it anymore and the parents divorce.

Lately, The Reclaiming the Mind ministry website has had on its blog, Parchment and Pen, blogs on the topic of divorce. I have a link to the latest one at this time here:

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/11/12/is-divorce-ever-understandable/

I read that one and the one before and looked at a number of the comments. They are questions that make one think and it makes me realize that situations aren’t always as cut and dry as we think. I will also add that I am not unfamiliar with this one on a more personal level.

No. My parents did not divorce. However, when my parents met, they had both been divorced. Both of them left behind incredibly bad marriages. My mother’s husband was quite abusive and she had great fear for the safety of her daughter, my sister. My father’s wife left him and although I don’t know all the details, it wasn’t anything pretty. I am the only child from the two of them and the only child of my father.

I do pay attention when divorce is brought up.

Matthew 19 is the main passage people turn to. Christ here says that marriage was made to be a lifelong institution by God. I don’t think there are many Christians committed to the Scriptures who will disagree with that. However, he then says that it is not to be undone except by marital unfaithfulness. The word is “Porneia.”

I’m not a Greek scholar. I will leave it to them. However, after some reading, I did find that this can include adultery, but I don’t think it is limited to adultery. When Jesus in Mark 7 lists various sins, he includes porneia and then includes adultery. Why say adultery twice unless the word refers to something different? Even in the Matthew 19 passage, there is another word for adultery other than porneia.

At this point, my thoughts are that Jesus was speaking about marital unfaithfulness, but I do not believe that relates only to the bedroom. I could justifiably understand a case where a lady was being abused by her husband. He is certainly not being faithful to the covenant and I see no justification for having the lady stay with him in such a case, especially if children are in danger.

Now you might say “Fine, but she shouldn’t remarry.” That’s a whole other topic and I choose to not discuss that now. The point I want to make is simply that I see no biblical justification in such a case. I believe too many women have stayed in dangerous marriages thinking they’re following Scripture right when they’re not.

Is it entirely wrong of me to make such a claim? I don’t think so. In 1 Cor. 7, Paul says that if a believing spouse has an unbeliever leave, they are free to remarry. Apparently, Paul did see that this was such a case and we can be sure he was familiar with Christ’s words on the issue as he kept differentiating in the chapter between his words and the words of the Lord, being Christ.

However, divorce is a sad reality. Even in cases where I think it is the lesser of two evils, it is still sad. Could it be so many young people are abandoning traditional marriage because so many marrieds are not holding up to what marriage should be? While we can condemn cohabitation, maybe we ought to look and ask how much of it is being sparked by disillusionment with marriage today? If marriage was seen as exciting and vibrant, maybe we’d see more of it and more of it lasting.

We all know also that this is especially hard on children. It never occurred to me for awhile that my sister never called my Dad, “Dad.” One day she did. It was even when I was in High School. I had no idea until then what had happened until either my Mom or my Dad said something. Divorce changes the way the family unit looks.

Now her story is minor compared to several others. How many children come from broken homes and as a result lead broken lives? It is not just a mother and a father that are affected by divorce. In fact, children are usually the worst casualties and these children that do not know what a marriage is supposed to be like are going to grow up and pass the laws on marriage for the rest of us.

I urge all couples to seek counseling first before any divorce takes place. I also urge married couples to please remember the joy of your marriage. Demonstrate it to the rest of us. Show it to an unbelieving world who sees marriage as an old institute that needs to be abandoned. Show it to those of us who are Christian singles and need to see the joy and wonder of marriage as something to shoot for.

Marriage is important. It is the foundation of family. For the sake of the family, and for the children, and the future of America and the rest of our world, we can do better.

I don’t believe I’ve written much on this one, but I figured it had to be covered. I just wanted to get my basic stance out there.

First off, abortion is murder.

So what are you saying? If I aborted a child or encouraged a significant other in my life to do so, I’m a murderer?

To be blunt, yes.

Now for the good news.

It is forgivable.

Tonight though seems like a good reason to state why I believe that. It ultimately comes down to what is in the womb. If this is not a human, it really doesn’t matter. If it is a human though, then we cannot justify this act in any way. So is what is in the womb a human being?

Randy Alcorn has gathered much info on that. The information comes from a Senate hearing on the topic.

http://www.epm.org/articles/life_conception.html

I will give some basic points though from my own thought.

First off, the baby has different DNA than the mother does. In that regards, it can no longer be said to be the mother’s body entirely. There is another body here. There is a third party. The question is, is that third party a human being or not? Again, I believe th above has answered that. Since it is, we cannot take its life seeing as it is an innocent human being.

Now let’s suppose though that we don’t know. I have often asked where this magical point is that the baby becomes human. Unfortunately, I have not been given an answer. There is nothing magical about the birth canal after all. So what if we don’t know when human life begins? We should leave it alone then. Why take the risk. If you’re hunting with a friend in the woods and see a rustling in the trees and think it could either be a buck or your friend, are you going to risk it?

Yet if you don’t know when life begins, are you not risking it?

Now some might ask about rape or incest. This is a hard situation. One must have full sympathy for a woman in this kind of situation. However, there is no justification in taking an innocent human life because someone else was a monster. What about the baby? The child can be put up for adoption, a great system that should be used more often.

Too often though, we know the reason is not for rape or incest. It is for convenience. It is the strongest form of birth control out there. In this, millions of babies have been murdered in America alone. How many great minds and discoveries could have been there if we had allowed them to live. It has led to the cheapening of human life.

Abortion has been called the silent holocaust. I agree.

One other situation needs to be mentioned though before giving final thoughts on it. What about to save the life of the mother. The best I have heard is someone saying “The kingdom of God is always about the stronger giving itself for the weaker.”

I will also say that while I am for the death penalty in some cases, that is not a contradiction. Taking a guilty life guilty of bloodshed of the image of God is not the same as an innocent baby. I wonder about those who don’t see the difference between a baby and a murderer.

Ultimate message today? We need to do our parts. Today, statistically, about 4,500 innocent babies died. 4,500! Most of us don’t have near that many in our churches! How long will the bloodshed last? What has Scripture said about those who shed innocent blood?

Today, I make the call. Let us do our part. Let us end the silent holocaust. All it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.

Now this is a difficult one to write. I have a friend who I am sure has his wife on birth control. I even have a sister who is on birth control. Thus, whatever I say here, it is going to be taking a stand on what they are doing. I will say that I am open to having my mind change. I am not dogmatic on this point. I am more willing to lean, but this is just where I am now.

At this point in my life, I just don’t support birth control. Now I understand that there are some forms of birth control out there that do abort a baby when it is conceived. Such a form of birth control I would not change my position on. I do not believe that is moral under any circumstance. (For the record, I do believe that it is forgivable just as abortion is.)

My concern with birth control is with that last word. Control. We have set up this illusion that we have control and that when we want to have children later on, well they will surely come. As Morse has said in her book “Smart Sex,” it didn’t happen for her, because when she wanted to have kids later, she suddenly couldn’t. There are several other women who share the same story.

It has thus allowed us to buy into this myth that we are in charge. We can change the odds on the dice, but the odds are still there. You could still somehow have a child on birth control. It’s not likely, but you could. You could not have a child with fertility help. It’s more likely you will, but there is no guarantee.

I am more and more amazed that we see so many commercials for birth control that have happy families. It’s as if we’re saying “If you use our product, you can put this off, but it will be waiting for you.” You have no guarantee. You are not in charge of your reproductive cycle. Maybe you will have kids. Maybe not. You don’t know.

And that ultimately is my concern. We are given the impression that we are in control and blocking off the increasing of the community largely for reasons that are quite shallow. A child would interrupt our career or we want time to enjoy ourselves first or we think we can’t afford a kid. Somehow, families centuries ago made it.

Thus, at this point in my walk, I just can’t support it. Now why am I discussing it? Well, we’re discussing marriage and sex and I plan to cover all areas. If I’m wrong, I’m ready to admit it, but these are just my thoughts at the moment.

I’ve seen several people in this world shopping together who are a man and a woman together with a small child with them. Unfortunately, many of them at the same time do not have wedding rings on. I think we all know what that would most likely mean. Honestly, the trend of this increasing alarms me.

Now I used to think this was mostly with the younger generation until friends of my own parents underwent divorces and before too long, they were cohabiting with someone else. It was quite stunning as I figured these people grew up with traditional morality and would honor it, but instead, they chose to not do so.

I hope most of you know my heart on this kind of situation. These women especially sadden me. I have a great love of ladies after all, and it saddens me when they make themselves to be something that they aren’t. I also get bothered by the men who I expect to act like men and not simply grown boys.

I won’t give the statistics. You can find those in many places. My understanding is that this causes the marriage to break down if it ever even gets to that point. Apparently, many women do this hoping it’s a stepping stone, but the man does it and he doesn’t really want to commit. Seems like a good way to get what you want and have an escape clause without commitment.

My opinion on why it fails though is that marriage cannot be treated like a trial run. That is not trust at all. You want to know when the testing is? It’s simple. We call it dating. That’s when you start to know the person and really learn all about them and who they are.

Now you might think you don’t know everything about them so you want to play it safe. The problem is though that you will never know everything about them. People who have been married for decades are still learning new things about each other.  Persons are inexhaustible mines of information.

This is simply our culture that does not like the idea of commitment. We want to be autonomous and not dependent on anyone. We want to be able to come and go as we please. Unfortunately, life is not like that and Christians should not be like that. We are a people who serve a God in relationship with himself. We are not anti-relational. Christians believe in interdependence.

Now some say that you wouldn’t buy a car without giving it a test drive. A simple question must be asked though. Who is the driver and who is the car? Ladies? Do you want to hear that your guy is testing you like a car and wanting to see if you will perform good enough lest he take you back to the parking lot and look for another model?

That’s a comforting thought. This marriage was established because I knew my girl could perform well. Is that really what you want a marriage to be based on? Ought it not to be based on who the other person is? (Which I believe is shown in the Trinity. We look at each person for who they are and what they do flows out of who they are. Essence precedes function.)

What can be done?

I only know one answer, a return to virtue. Especially that which is found in Scripture. We need men and women who know who they are. They are creatures in the image of God. They are not highly-evolved animals resulting from an accident. Their sexuality is a gift and it is not to be treated as common.

And oh yes. Parents. Be sure of this one thing. Before you go and tell your children they need to be living virtuously, make sure you are doing the same thing. Much of our problem with the younger generation might sadly because the older generation has not portrayed the importance of the values that they said to embrace.

I do hope and pray that this trend will slow down at least. Our future, the future of the family, is too important.

In a discussion with a non-Christian, I have had him mention something about sexual prowess. Now I’m thinking then the idea of sexual prowess is involving how much sexual experience one has. What that involves then is how many women one has been with. Thus, the idea of a man with sexual prowess is he’s able to romanticize many women.

I’d like to challenge that view.

Men. Any of us could go out tonight and find a lady to sleep with us. If I wanted to, I could go out and find a lady of the night and have myself a time tonight. (Granted, I really don’t know how I’d go about doing that, but I’m sure I could find a way.) There really isn’t much challenge.

Also, many of us probably have fully functional systems. That we’d be able to fully perform in a sexual encounter is not much of a deal honestly. Granted, there are some men with various conditions, but for most of us, we don’t really have that fear when it comes to sexuality.

Now if that is the case, why is that such a big deal? In our society, it really isn’t much to get a lot of women to take their clothes off and allow themselves to be used like this. Unfortunately, we men have been far too eager to help them going about this. We live in an age where we are copying the animals. Indeed, even arguments about morality today point to what animals do.

I’d like to say what real sexual prowess is.

You know as well as I do men that sometimes, it seems hard to make a woman happy. It really does. How many times does a husband go crazy just wondering what his wife really wants? How hard can it be for us to go to the store and buy something for the women in our lives because it has to be just the right gift? How easy can it be for us to completely annoy them by the way we act at times?

With all that said, you want to know what true sexual prowess is?

True sexual prowess is being able to take a woman like that who you can legally call your wife and make her happy.

It’s not just in the bedroom either. If you can please her in the bedroom but nowhere else, you’ve lost. If you please her everywhere else, you will please her in the bedroom. True sexual prowess is pleasing her at breakfast, it’s pleasing her by calling her or sending an email throughout the day, it’s pleasing her by bringing home a flower for her.

True sexual prowess is pleasing her by being a right father to the kids. It’s by changing diapers and telling bedtime stories. True sexual prowess consists of working hard for your wife throughout the day, but when you get home, leaving that work behind and doing your part. It consists of not coming in and just saying “What’s for dinner?” and sitting on the couch with the TV remote.

True sexual prowess consists of being there when your kids have games at the school. It consists of being waiting by the door when your daughter has her first date and making sure her date treated her right. It consists of talking straight to your kids about sex and listening to them when they need you. It consists of you loving their mother in their eyes.

Yes gentlemen. That is true sexual prowess and I am convinced that if you please your lady in those areas, that she will be more than happy to please you in the bedroom and I am sure she will be happy to do so often.

Perchance this is why so many men don’t have true sexual prowess. What I’ve described isn’t easy. It terrifies me when I think about it and I hope I can live up to it. It would be so easy to just go to multiple women and get my kicks that way.

No. A woman deserves the best though. She deserves a man. Not a boy. You want to be a true man for a woman? Do these things.

One thing we hear in the debate on sexuality is that this is a private matter. What two consenting adults agree to do is their business. This sounds plausible to us. Who are we to go into the bedroom of another? There is only one problem with this idea. It is completely false. How so?

Consensual does not equal moral. Because two people agree to do something, it is not automatically right. Two people could agree to beat each other for instance. That would not mean that mutilation would be okay. Two people can agree to use illegal drugs together. That does not make it right.

Now, I’m not saying in this though that we are to storm into the bedrooms of people and see what they are doing. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am saying though that we can hold them accountable because that is the nature of sexuality. It is a public matter open to be discussed. (And if it isn’t, why is it constantly being discussed everywhere?)

I have a good friend who is married. She is one of the kindest souls I know and every now and then, she’ll tell me that her and her husband have a special evening planned. My reply is something like “oooooooh” to which I’ll be told “Go watch an episode of Smallville” or something like that.

But I assure you, as soon as she says it, she knows where my mind is going. We don’t necessarily keep such things private. A lady can come to a group of other ladies smiling in the morning and they know why.  Married men I know tell me that they expect a special evening on their birthdays.

Here’s the biggest clue though that this is public. You and I are here. Now as soon as you see any human being, you know what has been going on. Every person you see is a result of sexual intercourse. When my friend comes to me and tells me his wife is expecting, I don’t have to ask “How’d that happen?” I know how it happened.

And because it’s public, we can hold each other accountable.

I can go to my friend who is married if I am a good friend and say “How is it going? Are you treating your wife right? Are you staying faithful to her? Are you avoiding sexual sin?” I don’t have to have the details of the bedroom. I don’t want them. I can though hold him to the biblical standards and make sure he is living right.

This applies to dating couples also. If I should meet a lady soon and get to take her out, my roommate has every right to ask me when I get home after an evening with her if I stayed pure. In fact, I would hope that he would do so. Now granted, there are some questions that couldn’t be asked, and those are obvious. However, he may most definitely ask if I’m keeping it pure. I may not like it, but I need it.

That could be something that could keep sexual sin at a minimum today. If men would come together and be accountable and women come together and be accountable, I think it would do much good. Unfortunately, we have this idea that it is private and then it’s not my place to ask.

It is your place. If you care about your brother or sister in Christ, you may surely ask if their walk is right. This is not a private matter. It is one that will effect how we live in the eyes of the community.