Deeper Waters

I started reading today a book called “Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love In A Hook-Up World” by Jennifer Roback Morse. Now I’m only on chapter two so far, but I am adoring this book! I can tell a book is going to be good when I read the prologue and I get excited about it. I’m just spellbound by all the info on each page and how Morse cuts through so much nonsense. (Another great book I recommend is Lauren Winner’s “Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity.”)

The book has me thinking though about marriage. Throughout the next few days, I’d like to discuss different aspects of marriage and why I think they’re so important. I’d like us to look at a lot of deep issues. I’m not a statistician. I’m not going to give those. I find them interesting, but I’m more interested in the moral aspects apart from the results of actions and the popular views. For instance, while I do think statistics show divorce is bad for children, I’d like to concentrate on how it’s bad in and of itself.

But why do this?

Because I believe that Western Civilization could rely on this question. The loss of the family will lead to the ultimate breakdown of society. I believe this is the danger in divorce, in couples “shacking up”, and in the homosexual push for their “marriages.” Why do I say such a thing?

Marriage is what provides for the future of our society. It is what produces the children and it is not only the production of children that matters, as you can produce children without being married, but it is the kind of children that will be produced. What kind of homes will they be raised in?

If children are not raised properly, then they will grow up to be a people of self-interest and no empathy for others and will do whatever they want and can get away with. Yes. This will affect the decisions they make sexually. Are they going to treat persons as persons of intrinsic value meaning you can’t use them as pleasure objects or are they going to say they deserve the utmost trust and respect.

I believe after thinking on it that how you view sexuality will affect how you view humanity.

If you view it merely as pleasure, you will go and get it wherever you can from whoever you want to.  If you view it though as a way of building intimacy and trust as well as pleasure, then you will be more inclined to believe that this is something to wait for marriage for. Of course, if you lack self-control which the home is to give, then you will be more inclined the other way.

The sexual revolution has had hideous effects on society. It leads to moral relativism being more accepted as well as increases in aboriton and divorce. Our children are the casualty and do we really want the next generation to grow up with the values of the sexual revolution? (Which too many already are! On the Monday after the Prom in my senior year, students were talking about what motels they went to.)

The next few days then, we’re going to be looking at marriage. Much of it will be insights I garner from the above-mentioned book. This is a major issue for our world today and it’s one we can’t afford to lose on.

I was talking to someone tonight who had a T-shirt advertising another church. Now I hadn’t heard of it, so I decided to ask some questions. I got down eventually to what denomination. I ask this one because I want to be sure in dealing with a church that the church is orthodox so I check to see if they have ties to an orthodox denomination.

I mentioned Nicea and the lady said “What’s that?” Then she said “As long as people believe Jesus is the savior and that it’s not by works but all by grace.” Now this got me thinking. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe Jesus is the savior and that it is by grace and not by works that we’re saved, but it seems this lady had things backwards. The test for orthodoxy was not the person of Christ but the method of salvation.

Now I believe the method is important, but I think the person is more important. I think Arminians and Calvinists are both my brothers and sisters in Christ. I cannot say though that the Mormon or the Jehovah’s Witness is my brother or sister. This gets just as concerning since a Mormon or Jehovah’s Witness could very well amen what this lady said and she’d consider them brothers and sisters.

Friends. I do think that we need to have a good grasp of church history. Fortunately, the man had heard of Nicea, but this lady was clueless. That leads to easy prey for Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses. Now I’m not saying you need to know everything about church history and know the Church Fathers inside and out, but you should know enough major events like the four major councils all accept and what happened.

The early church’s main dealing was with who Jesus was. It was not about works vs. grace. Yes. That was discussed, but when a council is called, it is called to deal with the question of who Jesus is, which I will state was already well taken care of by the early church fathers.

I believe the debate unless we get to a Pelagian view is really an inside debate. I have devout friends on both sides, but I know this about them. They both really love Jesus and they are both doing their part to live holy and righteous lives. I see no reason to doubt the salvation of either.

This is still my concern though. We need to get back to orthodoxy, to what Lewis called “Mere Christianity.” Unfortunately, we are still majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors. (I’m wondering if this lady could tell me why I should believe the Earth is young or the KJV is the only Bible, but not know about the difference between Trinitarianism and Modalism.)

If we care about our faith, we owe it to familiarize ourselves with it. Can we debate the secondary issues some? Yes. They’re not the test for orthodoxy though, and we need to return to that.

Last night, I saw my roommate start to engage in a discussion with a skeptic on unwanted children. I began thinking about that phrase. Of course, it is in the abortion debate. The point is that these children are unwanted, so the best thing to do presumably is to go on and abort them.

Naturally, they’re not unwanted. There are several families out there that would love to have children and due to biological factors, they are incapable. I know that some who already have children would be glad to take another child in before they would see one gey aborted.

However, let’s suppose a stretch took place. Let’s suppose that there really was a child on Earth and no one wanted to raise that child. What would that mean? Would the skeptic be right in that if that is the case, then it would be alright to murder the child in the womb, or maybe even out of the womb if no one wanted him or her?

And this, I believe, is the main point we need to get to. Already, we have assumed a utilitarian view of life. Life is good insofar as it is wanted. If it is not wanted, then it is not good. Are we going to come to this point though where we determine the value of life by whether or not it fills a need for us?

This removes human life from being good in itself. Human life is only good insofar as it meets a need in other human lives. Rest assured though that if such a move is taken, it will not be men that determine what value life has. It will be some men that determine what value life has and what lives have value.

We don’t need to speculate. It happened in Nazi Germany. It happened in the Gulag in Russia. It has happened everywhere power has come into the hands of those who do evil. It has also happened more and more when a nation gets away from God. When science becomes the answerer of all questions, we are more prone to viewing life this way.

It’s starting now in fact. The abortion movement is a start in that a baby can be murdered in the way because it is supposedly unwanted. The euthanasia movement is along the same lines. Life is not being seen as good in itself. Life is being seen as a means to a good for some people and these are the people we need to watch.

What can we do? Learn to stand up now. Learn to value life in itself. We can also speak out against abortion wherever it takes place. 4,500 babies are murdered every day. Each one of those lives is precious and valuable, and one baby being murdered in its mother’s womb is too many.

I was considering how God has made his existence known last Sunday and I have been pondering this idea in my head over and over. I am convinced that the words of Peter Kreeft are true in that everything here points either to Heaven or to Hell. Nothing is an end in itself. It points to something beyond itself.

I looked at everything thinking about it pointing beyond itself. I have come to the conclusion that God is the true romantic. I looked at everything I could and considered God telling me through it to look beyond it. (I don’t mean God giving me a personal message, but I mean a message available to anyone.) I considered Heaven being the final consummation of the relationship and thus all here is foreplay.

Instead, we too often act like lovers betraying the one wooing them over by going over to the counterfeit lover. That would be the things of this world in the wrong way that are good or the evils of this world that aren’t good to begin with. One either sides with Satan or Christ in this battle. There is no middle ground.

But in each case of God showing himself, he is like the flirtatious lover. Consider the lady wooing the man over by being as tantalizing as possible. She is saying, “There is more here. I have more for you that you have not see yet. If you like what you see now, wait til you see the whole picture.”

Of course, I don’t mean that in a scandalous sense. I mean that in a holy sense as a lovely woman who is godly should be desirable. In fact, her modesty is what makes her attractive. She is making herself difficult to get to, but at the same time, giving enough to make any guy who is desiring holiness go crazy.

What guy does not desire that? I believe this is what Christ desires for his bride as well. I don’t believe the system of intercourse is an accident. Instead, I believe that it entirely mirrors the way that the love of God is shown to us. It is the imagery he uses in the Bible after all. If there is a part that I don’t understand, it will come.

A lady I often think has the treasure every guy wants. She can look at herself all she wants in her own privacy and she is just as delighted in her beauty as the male is. However, I think as much as she might be familiar with her own self, on a honeymoon night, she learns to see how beautiful she is in a whole new way.

I speculate this is what Christ desires for us. That he desires to take us and unclothe us spiritually and have us standing before him as we are. In fact, we could say this is what happens at the point of conversion. That we allow ourselves to stand before Christ and he takes away our old garments and gives us new ones.

At that point also, he sends his life into us, which is what happens essentially on the honeymoon night. The lady cannot produce new life on her own. She needs the man to send his life into her and then from her will come the new life. When Christ comes to us, he gives us his life and we are now awaiting the final moment.

Which one is that? The same one nature is awaiting. Romans 8 tells us that creation is in birth pangs. We can expect that God will take this creation and unclothe it as well and send his life into it entirely. It will be fully reborn into what it never was before. It will be a reborn creation better than ever.

And the same will happen to us. When the time of birth comes, instead of giving birth to something separate from ourselves, we will have that full life in ourselves. We will be the new creation. Christ’s life will be fully manifest in us. He will show us who we are and make us what we never were before, which is again, ourselves.

Until then, we look around. God is tantalizing us with the joys of this creation and waiting for the Ephesians 2 moment so he can have all eternity to show us the riches of his grace. Let us not pass up the flirting, for all men and women know that if a wooing takes place and there is no response, there will be no honeymoon.

I did say I wouldn’t talk much about femininity, but geez. It’s my blog. I can write on the topic some if I want to can’t I? Of course I can. However, my thinking about this key aspect of femininity to me came to me while discussing things with an excellent male friend of mine this morning. He’s an awesome guy. He’s got a good heart, a good head on his shoulders, and he’s a joy to be around.

We were discussing the topic of masculinity and homosexuality and how we need to have men that respond properly sexually to women. I pointed out that I think there are two errors. One is that it’s expected that every guy will be a sucker for every beautiful woman that comes along and goes ga-ga entirely. (Think of the TV show where the wife controls the husband with sex as a weapon, which is something you should NEVER do ladies.)

The other, of course, is the homosexual extreme. This is where one has zero interest in the ladies and is in fact, far more interested in masculinity. Both are wrong and I believe the Holy Spirit is capable of cleaning up both. I look at 1 Cor. 6 as my main text. It could be harder for our age of psychology and emotion to see that.

However, I did say the church has also had a negative role in this. Unfortunately, the church has often presented sexuality as something dirty and to be ashamed of. Rightfully, the church condemns pornography and sexual intercourse outside the confines of marriage. Wrongfully though, it seems to condemn sexual desire along with it.

I have no envy of the man who does not struggle with lust of the opposite sex. Instead, I have pity. Such a man is not being tempted by that which is good. It could be that he is either so holy he is no longer tempted or he is so dead in his masculinity that he isn’t tempted. Unfortunately, it’s more likely the latter.

Men should be tempted. Why? Because women are good things and their beauty is a good thing. I spoke to my friend about how I saw this often growing up in church. Many of us are young men and we just don’t often know what to do. We have this great desire, but at the same time, it seems wrong to have the desire. I am thankful for Sunday School teachers who pointed out passages like Proverbs 5:18-19 to me.

Yet I also pointed out a great truth. There were several women I was infatuated with in High School, though I never acted on any desires. I was a shy guy. What can I say? Still am in many ways. However, it wasn’t until I started studying apologetics that I began to see just how truly beautiful women are.

Why? I think it is because seeing the truth of my faith caused me to look at life in a whole new way. Why did I see women as truly beautiful then? Because I saw them as reflections of his beauty. I began looking at sexual intercourse, this great desire in me, to see if it could tell me anything about the love of God, and I found volumes! (Today, it is one of my favorite topics to get a book on. I definitely recommend for anyone a copy of Lauren Winner’s book “Real Sex”, the best I know on the topic.)

How did I see the beauty then? I saw the beauty of a female by the beauty of God. It is the same with light. I cannot see light directly. It moves too fast! However, it is by that light that I can see everything else. It is by God that I see everything else, or at least I should, as it truly is.

When I see a lady then, I look for that which most reflects Christ. I can see some women that will be seen as “plain” by most of the world but they have great hearts and for myself, a strong intellect also doesn’t hurt, and they are gorgeous. Then, I can see women that when describing how they look physically, they could be supermodels and I know it, but there is just no attraction there. They are merely skin deep.

My stance on women is that they are Eve walking around. Eve represents the glory and beauty of God. I see her as the most glorious being in creation. Man is meant to lead the creation, but the woman is to represent God’s beauty on Earth. In fact, I have a syllogism with a missing premise that I use. You will either understand it or you won’t.

Beautiful women exist.

Therefore, God exists.

I am thankful that God has created so much beauty, especially in the woman, and that he has enabled me to see him in her.

I was watching a friend of mine talk last night about the years of her life. She mentioned one and I said “That’s the year I was born.” She had to thank me for making her feel old. It certainly wasn’t my intent. I thought about it today and wondered if she had said that was a hard year of her life or not. I couldn’t remember. I thought though how odd it would be if it was for the reasons I shall discuss in this blog.

First off, let me say something about this person. This person informed me recently she is a secret reader type of this blog. I was surprised, but it makes sense. I think this person is quite the angel. When I see her, I see a purity in her that I don’t see in a lot of people and I think she genuinely cares about people and has an interest in them. I have a deep respect for her. I want her to know that.

I thought though that what if it was a bad year? Well, it could have been a bad year for her at the time, but is it overall? After all, it was the year I was born and she obviously enjoys my blogs and if I hadn’t had been born, then she wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the blogs. A time of suffering eventually produced a time of joy.

I thought about that also with other times. I have a great friend who is probably the person I trust most on this Earth now who has helped me overcome so much. We were chatting one night about something and I relayed something from my experience and said “Maybe you’re the same way.” Lo and behold, it seems I was right.

What has that led to? My awesome friend got some healing from my suffering. I consider that the same situation happening. The suffering that we consider so bad is that which will be redeemed. The pain can be used on this Earth often to bring restoration to those whose path we come across.

I then thought about that. I don’t like what I’m going through a lot of times, but I had to consider. Would I go through it if I knew God would use it for good? Of course. Yet that is what he promises. In Romans 8, he says all things will work for good. Not all things are good. He doesn’t say that. He says they’ll work for good.

I remember going through a time of anxiety and depression in my life. Now when I meet people who struggle in that area, I can help them a lot more. I look at where I am in life now. I don’t care for my job honestly. I think I can do much more. Yet I considered, maybe someday I’ll be teaching another promising student in apologetics in the same situation and be able to say “Hey. I was there once too. Hang in there!”

C.S. Lewis has said most friendships begin with someone saying “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” I wonder how many times our experiences of pain help heal others the same way. It seems the worst suffering one can undergo in life is easier when you know one other person is there.

I wonder when we get to Heaven and we see the scars other people had that I believe God will use to show his glory in redemption, how many others will look at us and say the same thing? “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” Maybe that suffering we hid because we thought it was unique to us was really going on in several others.

I am a firm believer that Heaven will redeem any pain we have had here and any time spent in suffering. If we take the time and consider that, can we not see how our suffering in the long run if we are Christians will one day be our glory?

And if I am right about Heaven, then maybe we should be more willing to begin it here. It could be a lot of our suffering isn’t as bad as we think it is.

A reader yesterday commented that while I discussed some things that masculinity is not yesterday, I never got around to saying what it is. Point well taken. However, there is a good reason for such. I, and I say this to all my readers, am still on that quest. It is a shame that in our society today, we have no idea what it means to be a man.

I did list many things I do not believe it is. Why? Because I believe that these stereotypes only do us harm. It is a sad truth that many do not fit into these areas. Many a young man is confused and not sure where to go in life and that has been due to a lack of true role models and a plethora of bad.

Yet I firmly believe that this is something that must be reclaimed for our time. Now I hold the same for femininity. Why do I not write on it? Because I am the guy and it is far easier to write from my perspective. As much as I try to understand women, I think it is best for women to explain femininity and men to explain masculinity.

However, I am certain this will effect how we treat the women in our lives and how they pursue femininty. If men are truly being men, I believe that women will truly be women. Generally, the man has had the most sway in each unit of society. If a husband is won to Christ, it is far more likely that his family will be than for any other member.

I also believe that while psychology can help us in many ways, it is Scripture that will be most essential in revealing what masculinity is to be. Psychology can help us reach the goal of course, but I believe that Scripture is that which will ultimately reveal masculinity in explaining how we are in the image of God who contains masculinity in himself.

For now though, it seems that we simply have boys running around in bodies of adults. We have too many men that look at women as playthings. C.S. Lewis spoke about this type of person and how people would say that he’s looking for a woman. Lewis told us that the truth is that a woman is the last thing he wants to meet. He wouldn’t know what to do with her.

Why? Such a person is simply looking for pleasure and a female body happens to be the apparatus by which he wants to earn that pleasure. Were he to meet a real woman, he could be sure that she would not surrender herself so easily and the person would not know what to do.

I believe this will play a part in how men father their children. I do believe a man should play with his children and enjoy them, but he should also discipline them and teach them how to live godly. A man should work to care for his family, but when work is done, it is done. He should then come home and be a father and a husband. He should also be of good reputation in the church.

Young sons? They need to grow up and be able to take risks. Look at all you see. It is here because someone took a risk. Someone took a risk with the idea called a computer and I am here writing. I am here period because my dad decided to take a risk in dating my mother and apparently, it worked out good. This blog is going up because I decided to take the risk that I could come up with something to write about every night. I am living where I am because I decided the dream I had to pursue was worth a risk.

Thus, I think our young sons should be able to take risks or else they will not accomplish anything. Our men should have emotions, but they should not be ruled by emotions. They should be able to cry at what they ought to cry about and be able to laugh at what they ought to laugh about.

Dear readers. Do I know for sure what masculinity is? No. Not entirely. I have clues, but not the whole idea. I believe that is how powerfully the spell of naturalism has been worked on us. However, rest assured that I have no desire to stop searching and when I get something more definitive, readers of Deeper Waters will be the first to know.

In our culture, the question of masculinity has sadly been deemed irrelevant. It no longer matters. Maybe in the days of the knights it might have mattered, but today, it doesn’t. It is a shame our culture has come to that. How indeed can we raise up young men if they no longer know what it means to be a man.

Of course, we have a number of misconceptions. Now some of these misconceptions might have a grain of truth to them, but that is indeed what makes them so deadly. For instance, I think part of what makes a man a man is how he responds sexually to a lady. However, we’ve taken that to a deadly extreme when we measure masculinity by how many women a man can sleep with.

I do believe that a man is supposed to be strong in the soul, but we take that to an extent that it should not be taken to when we say that the measure of a man is how much he can bench press. It makes me wonder about a guy like myself who frequently in my old work position had to page for help to lift heavy objects. (Having a steel rod on one’s spine doesn’t help!)

It seems in our culture, men are the ones who are supposed to drink beer all the time, watch sports, and drive cars really fast. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of those in themselves. (Although you should drive the speed limit, but you should enjoy driving I think) However, the problem I see is that we make such secondary characteristics the measure of men.

And this has had an effect in our culture. Look at most TV shows. We have gone from “Father Knows Best” to “Father is a big idiot who only thinks about sex.” If anything, it is the women who are the sane ones and just have to keep the hormones of their husbands under control. This is one reason I loved Jonathan Kent’s character on Smallville. He was a positive father figure when many others were lacking.

A lot of this has been on my mind due to a thread in a forum I belong to talking about the Boy Scouts and homosexuality. Why do I agree with them? It’s not just because the Boy Scouts agree with Scripture in this, but because I think homosexuality is harmful to men. I do think that part of being a man is responding to a lady properly and a man properly.

I believe a man should enjoy masculinity, but it should be his own. He should delight in the fact that he’s male. I think he can enjoy other men provided it’s simply delighting in being men. Men can have deep love relationships with each other, but those are not strengthened when they are sexualized. Masculinity is to be exalted in, but you must realize you have it on your own. Femininity is that outside of you which complements you.

Men need men in their lives though to be models and to call them to account. The first main figure should be the father. Unfortunately, many of our fathers in today’s world are absent. They are often married and cheating on their spouse with another lover called a job. (Sadly, this can especially happen in ministry.) It has been one vow of mine that whenever I become a father, that I will set aside time for my children and be a part of their lives.

There will naturally be other men. Such men could be teachers and coaches or men of respect in the church. You might find men at a distance such as a sports star. It’s important though to note that everyone will have role models and we should be sure we have good ones and not bad ones.

As for the topic of sex and women, a real man will treat a lady like a lady. Even if such a man is planning to remain celibate or is a virgin, he will treat a lady like a lady. Unfortunately, too many of our men are young boys with adult bodies who see women as playthings for their own pleasure.

Doesn’t it break my heart to see unmarried men and women buying condoms? Yes. We all need protection for the ultimate act of trust and love between two people.  Honestly, part of me wants to cry every time I see it.

Let’s be clear about something men! There’s also nothing unmasculine about crying! How do I know this? Simple. The Bible tells me “Jesus Wept.” Does anyone want to stand up and say Jesus Christ was not a real man? Jesus Christ was the most masculine man of all and is the ultimate role model of what a man is to be like.

Oh Lord! We need men! We need real men who will stand up and lead for if the men of today fall, I do not know if we have another generation of men coming up behind them.

I’ve been thinking some lately about various issues. One of them has been the topic of masculinity today. What does it mean today for me or any other male to be a man? This has been on my mind lately with joining a Y and working out and with seeing a remark on the Boy Scouts and homosexuality.

But before I can get to that issue, I find it important to discuss Christ first who is the archetype for what a man is to be. It is the Christian teaching that Jesus is the Son and not the Daughter. There are some passages where we can make a “sex-friendly” translation and have children of God instead of sons of God and “Blessed is the one” instead of “blessed is the man” and we will not lose out.

I think though that there are specific reasons that the incarnate God took on masculinity.

To begin with, systems have been generally patriarchal in many cases and I don’t think this is an accident. I do believe that men were meant to be the leaders. I do not consider this sexist or an insult to women. I just think that men have generally had the qualities that better prepare them for leadership.

Consider that even our macho attitude might have some ideas right. Now when I’m at the gym, I’m hardly a muscular guy. Lifting 20 pound weights is enough for me. Yet even if our macho attitude says your masculinity is determined by how much you can bench press, could there be a grain of truth in the error?

Could it be that instead, the focusing on strength in the man does point out that a man is supposed to be strong? Not necessarily in the body, but in the soul. He is to be a rock that the world can depend on. He is to be a force for good that is to change the world. He is to stand up and lead his family before God.

I believe that this could be the heart of the truth and we deeply damage manhood today when we make it purely physical. You could be able to in the Iron Man competition and not be truly masculine. We do the same with women when we judge their femininity based on their figure. (Could it be their figure actually represents life?)

I find it interesting when I think about this that God when he came down actually could we say have some control over the body he’d have, but yet, Jesus is a non-descript person in appearance, at least according to Isaiah 53. There’s nothing in his appearance that screams that he is the king of the Jews.  Yet Jesus is the manliest man of all time.

Jesus then came to be our king. He is our leader. He is the one we are to bow down to and this fits with our patriarchal roles. I do not believe this is an accident. I believe it is simply nature. I believe this is also why God chooses for us to address him as Father. While I believe masculinity and femininity both reside in God, the leadership and ruling language is fitting of the masculine side.

However, there is also the role of salvation. When does a lady give birth? When she has life put into her. That life doesn’t come into her from herself though or even from another lady. She has to get it from a man. It is only when a man sends his life into the woman that new life is capable of being born.

In Scripture, we are seen as the bride of Christ. What does that mean? It means Christ comes to us and he plants his life into us. We cannot bring about the physical life in ourselves. We cannot do so with the spiritual either. It is only with Jesus as the Son that we have this symbolism taking place.

Now some might say men have an unfair advantage in that we have a role model for Christ while there isn’t one for femininity. I would say there could be though. It could be the ones that Christ loved the most. Look at the way the church is described. That is the way a wife is to be. I do not mean the negative actions in Scripture though, but Christ describing why he loves her and what he will do for her and what she is to do for him. In fact, it could be said in thinking about it that the epistles teach us all of this.

Thus, before discussing masculinity, I have to conclude, Christ is the Son of God. It is for a purpose. If some wish to see me as sexist, let them. I instead will rest realizing that I am doing what I can to honor both masculinity and femininity.

I was listening to the internet radio program I was on with my roommate and we were on the part where a caller called in talking about the Christian view of homosexuality. Now my first stance on this is that while I agree it’s sinful, this is not the central claim of Christianity. The central claim is that Jesus rose from the dead. Thus, the way you disprove Christianity is to deal with that. All other issues are secondary.

However, the caller was talking to the other guy who had called in for the program and was telling him that he had several homosexual friends (He said gay actually, but I say homosexual due to my stance that I won’t let proper terminology be changed in a euphemistic sort of way.) who were just as happy and several kids not raised in traditional homes that were just as happy.

Here’s the problem. The problem is the word “happy.”

Now, maybe he meant what I’m talking about. We can’t know for sure without talking to him again sometime. However, we make a mistake if we think that in the view most people take the word to mean, that the goal is to raise up children so that they will be happy.

Think of some kids. Think of Dudley from the Harry Potter series. Think of Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Think of that spoiled brat you see every time you go to the department store. Think of that snotty rich kid that you see at the mall who has everything he wants.

Are they happy? Could very well be! They have parents willing to bend Heaven and Earth just to make sure their children don’t suffer any in life.

Do you want any of them as your kids? (Other than to set them straight, I doubt it.)

So what’s the mistake then? Shouldn’t we all want children to be happy?

Indeed, we should. We should all want to be happy ourselves. Happiness to the ancients though had another dimension that we have lacked. That dimension is the dimension of virtue. To the ancient mindset, the good life consisted in, well, being good. It is quite a reversal. Today, we see morality as a hindrance to happiness. They saw it as a key to happiness.

So what kind of children are to be raised? Children with self-control. Children with wisdom and courage. Children that seek the betterment of the world around them. Truly if children have such, they will be capable of enjoying themselves and being happier in more situations than the Veruca Salts of the world will.

So what is to be said? Sure. Kids can be happy. That’s not the goal. The goal is, are they capable and functioning and well-contributing members of society? Frankly, looking at today’s kids, I’m quite concerned about that. I hope and pray when I start to have some that I will raise them in the right way and why not do so the Proverbial way, with the Fear of the Lord?

Maybe the good book can tell us how to live the good life after all.