Deeper Waters

I am one of those C-type personalities. That means that I spend a lot of my time analyzing things to death. Unfortunately, one of those things that I tend to analyze to death and the analysis that I do is hardly constructive. I am also the one who is my own worst critic, which is another aspect of the C-type personality.

I was pondering today that I could spend more time thinking about more important things if I wasn’t so much thinking about myself. Now we have to think about ourselves to some extent. I have to pay my bills and buy my groceries and things of that sort, and I don’t see any wrong in looking for pleasure and looking for a wife as well. However, we can put ourselves first and Christ second too often. In fact, I would say every sin does just that. (Have we ever sinned to please Christ? It’s nonsense to even think of such a thing.)

Thus, while walking around tonight, I saw a beautiful lady on a music video at work and thought of that with the nature of beauty. Have you ever been in love? I have been in love once and lost it and it indeed was and is one of the most painful events of my life. However, that love is always focused on that which we find to be beautiful in some aspect.

I find this incredible about beauty. Beauty is always something that makes us lose ourselves. The most lucid man in speaking when confronted by a beautiful lady can find himself tripping over his sentences. Those who like to speak the most can be just awed in silence at the sight of an eclipse. Beauty is an enchantment that casts a powerful spell on us.

When you are truly in love though, you do lose yourself. You are so in awe of the other that you are willing to surrender your own personal problems in order to focus on the situation of the other. Could it be that this is why love transforms us so much? It doesn’t change the problem usually. It changes our perspective. Our problems are a trifle and we are focused on what matters to the other.

I think this is the same also with worship. I don’t believe worship changes our problems. I believe it changes us and our perspective. When we see God as he is, we can only worship him and we are in awe of his greatness and love then. We are also in awe of his intense beauty and we have the most powerful spell cast on us of all.

You know, this could lead to a great suggestion. Maybe we ought to worship God more? Maybe we ought to live our lives in such a way that we focus more on him. He must increase and we must decrease. We were created to worship him and when we do so, we are living the way that we ought.

To do so though, we must love God. To love God, we must know him. I believe this is where doctrine comes in. We need to know why the great doctrines about God matter. Can we know God entirely? No. We can love what we do know about him entirely. If you are married, you don’t know your significant other entirely, but you do love them. I don’t know any of my friends entirely and they don’t know me, but we share a mutual phileo love with each other.

Augustine once said “Love God and live as you please.” I think that’s a good point to close on. People often worry that the second part will get out of hand, but if the first is in the right, the latter will follow. Keep it simple. Love God.

I went to the bank today to cash my paycheck. The teller was a floater working at the bank. I had never seen her before, but she was cute and sweet (And had a ring on already unfortunately) and was glad to deposit my check. As I left, I was stunned when for the first time, she called me Mr. X (Last name concealed for obvious reasons). No one at the bank had ever called me by my last name with a Mr. before.

I’d never given my name, so she could have only seen it when getting my information off of my checks when I showed her my checkbook. Does it bother me? No. In fact, I was quite pleased. This employee took the time to see me as a name and in the end, thank me using my name as a respected person.

Isn’t there something nice about somebody really knowing your name? The theme song to the TV show Cheers, was that it was about going to a place where everybody knows your name. How many are pleased when they find this person they have a crush on does know their name? Isn’t it better to get mail from a friend with your name other than something generic like “occupant.”?

This makes me think of the Scriptures. In Isaiah 49:16, God says of his people that he has inscribed them on their hands. In Rev. 2:17, we are told that we will be given white stones with a new name on them and it looks like this new name will be something secret between the holder and God himself.

<> My favorite though is in Galatians 4:9. Paul talks about how we should live now that we know God, but then he adds, “Or rather, are known by God.” That’s a turnaround that I really like. It’s great to know God, but I find it incredibly more awesome that God knows me.

Socrates once said the great goal of man is to know thyself. Calvin added in to know God. Unfortunately, we can’t really know either. Our own selves are often quite a mystery to us, but God knows us better than we know ourselves. In fact, he has an intense fascination and wonder with us.

It was once said that a good friend is someone who knows all there is to know about you but likes you anyway. I find it amazing that the God of all creation knows my sin and how much I screw up against him every day and yet, he still wants to love me. In fact, he wants me to love him. It is an honor to get to love God. We could not love him though unless he had loved us first. We cannot give what we don’t have, and we only have love because he has loved us already.

This is something I try to keep in mind. I am known by God. As one who is my own worst critic, I have to face the fact that I am loved by God as I am. It’s not saying that I am perfect and that there aren’t areas to be worked on. There are. It’s just realizing that I am loved regardless.

Quite lovely isn’t it?

In a past post called “Every Woman”, I wrote about an Elizabeth Withers song. Now I’m sure she’s a fine lady, but I wonder how much thought went into this song. I can understand metaphor, but I don’t like metaphors that can convey a terribly false meaning.

I am thinking again of the line where she tells the man “Tonight I’m gonna be every woman in your fantasy!” Now I doubt it’s much of a secret to women that men are very visual and one glance can be all it takes to get a girl locked into the memory banks forever.

I wonder about that. Why be every woman? I have said earlier that I think that the lady should be a specific woman. This is the point. The true lover does not want his lady to be another woman. He wants his lady to be her. He rejected all others in choosing her. Why should she try to be another one?

This is such a point with love. When you are in love with someone, you want that person to be them. You want to accept them as they are. What you treasure is not what the person does but who they are. Their sheer company alone brings utter delight to you.

Yet as I think about this, someone will ask “Well what about God? Doesn’t he change us?” YES! Of course he does, which actually shows the point. Only God knows who the you that you are really is. Not even you know you as well as God knows you. Frankly, not many of us even know who we are anymore. It could be a relief that there is someone who does.

And what does he do? He doesn’t turn us into who we aren’t. He turns us into who we are. God cuts away from us all that does not belong to us so that he can have us as ourselves. He doesn’t want us plus our works. He wants us. It is not how we perform. It is who we are. Of course, who we are will work out in how we live, but he doesn’t want to love an action. He wants to love a person.

Thus, our true love on Earth is to be the same way. Unfortuantely, too many men and women engage in pre-marital sex where one’s sexual ability is tested to see if it passes. It is the couple in the covenant who can love freely, for they know that they are accepted regardless. They “perform” without fear.

Let us go to the throne today just as sure that we are accepted.

Last night was a hard night for me. I’ve been dealing with an issue of trying to recover from a past loss. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always come as easily as I’d like. Last night was such a night. It was a night that in the depths of my sorrow, I got up and started writing poetry. I haven’t shared what I wrote with anyone, but getting it out helped.

<> It made me think later throughout the day on how we Christians sometimes give a cliche healing. I can think of a few who would say that I should simply pray that the pain goes away. Don’t you think that I do that? Of course I do. However, I don’t think that this was the reason God gave us the gift of prayer.

Prayer is a lifestyle. I have a hard time with that honestly. My mind doesn’t always focus like it should and to really concentrate and pray for something is incredibly difficult. However, my life is always to be one of giving thanks to God. I am always to keep him in mind in all that I do.

My concern then becomes that we make prayer something it’s not. It is as if I or any person suffering from anything would not have this problem if we would only learn to be more spiritual. In fact, I hear a number of counselors say that when they talk to a Christian in a hard time, the Christian usually says something like “And please don’t tell me to pray more or read my Bible more.”

<> Prayer and Bible Study are great things, but they’re not about us. They’re not meant to make our problems go away. They can help in many times, but because we are in distress it does not mean we are less spiritual. I think God gave us many things as outlets to help us. I use poetry. There’s also such things as conversations with great friends.

In fact, to say to such a person that they are not praying enough is exactly what might not be needed. What does that say to a person in doubt that they are not praying enough? What about the one who fears they aren’t good enough for God? Our cures have often been the poison of many a churchgoer.

Will I make it through my valley? Yeah. I will. I will be praying and I will be studying the Scriptures, but I will also be using the other gifts God gave us. I hope you’ll remember that in your valleys as well.

I had someone ask me an interesting question today. He’s a fine young man who’s a strong Christian and he asked me if I always enjoyed reading the Bible. I know I’ll disillusion some here (And maybe you need to be disillusioned) but the answer is no, I don’t always enjoy reading the Bible.

<> I think it’s a good question. The truth is that no, I don’t always enjoy reading the Bible. There are times I do not have any religious passion at all. There are times I’m overflowing with it. In fact, I think if I looked at my life honestly, it’s pretty much that way with everything.

<>There are times a beautiful lady will drive me crazy. There are times I really can’t register interest. Why? It could simply be that I’m a normal person whose interests just fluctuate based on my mood that day, the weather, digestion, psychological status, what have you. I’m not a psychologist. I don’t claim to know.

It seems that we think we are to be somewhat different all the time when it comes to religious topics. I talked about this with someone recently. They were of the mindset that your religion should always produce strong feelings. That’s not really so. Ask anyone in a marriage relationship. There are times you feel intense love and there are times that you don’t. In both cases, you love.

There are times that I pray at night and it seems like things are dead. What do I do then? I pray. There are times I come to the Bible and I know I should read it but I’d rather go straight to bed than read a chapter that I’ve already read several times before. What do I do then? I read.

Why do I say this? Because I want you to know I’m not alone and I think you’re probably like me. I know some people who only enjoy religious matters and frankly, I don’t want to be one of them. I believe God gave us much to enjoy and while it all reflects him, it’s not all explicitly about him.

What to do? Learn to enjoy the Scriptures along with everything else. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying life after all.

Tonight at work, I had a friend from Bible College come by. I told him about my plans to go to Seminary with a customer passing between us. This customer later approached me on this as he was a professor at a local Bible College as well.

We started talking about various topics and he mentioned a sermon that someone had delivered recently at his school or church on Heaven. He spoke of the measurements given in Revelation and said that by those measurements, 3.5 billion people could live there and each have 1 cubic mile.

I replied though that I just didn’t see it that way. I saw the figure of the cube as representing that of the Most Holy Place. The Jew would know immediately that John was speaking about how holy this Heaven is.

I then pointed to Romans 8, a favorite passage of mine on this. Romans 8 tells us that all creation awaits redemption. This is an exciting thought to me as it tells me that all things are being made new.

 Do you remember the end of the Chronicles of Narnia? The kids go into the stable and they find in there a new Narnia, except this is a perfect Narnia. This is the real Narnia. They reply that they don’t like this world because it’s like the old world, but they liked the old world because it was like this one.

In my view, the old creation was not perfect. It was never meant to be. It was meant to be the battleground between good and evil, as God knew it would be. God’s plan never went wrong. It’s all working according to schedule. We would be quite arrogant to think we could destroy the plan of God.

We will instead have a new cosmos, and a cosmos better than before. Every single square inch of this cosmos I believe will be filled with the manifest presence of God. How else could it be Heaven? That’s the real joy. God is there. We shall know as we are known. We shall enter into the presence of Christ and we shall be like him.

Is the resurrection good? Of course. Let’s take it all the way though. As in the first of the Chronicles of Narnia also, death began working its way backward at the resurrection. Imagine what glory will exist in the new creation.

I’m looking forward to it. How about you?

I love the church. I just love it too much to leave it the way it is. I don’t think my church I attend is much different in this respect from a lot of other churches and that is what concerns me the most.

I thought about my Sunday School lesson today. We had a lesson on the battle of Jericho and on the sin of Achan. It was alright, but unfortunately, the main point stressed was obedience to the commandments of God.

Don’t get me wrong. We should be obedient to the commandments of God. However, when Joshua was being written, while that was part of the intention, I think the obedience to God was based on a much larger idea.

What did Jericho teach? It taught that God is in control. He was fulfilling his promises to Abraham. He was showing the new generation that he would be with them as they conquered the land. The sin of Achan shows that he is absolutely holy and that is to be treated seriously.

Our churches though seem to skip to application immediately of the text. The Scriptures are described as a revelation. A revelation of what? An ethical system. Ethics are good and the Bible teaches ethics, but you can find great ethics in the Greek philosophers and even in several secular humanist writings.

No. The Bible’s uniqueness is that it is a revelation of God. Thus, when we read the Bible, we should try to find something about God. We should come to see how he is revealing himself and then say “Based on that, how ought I to live my life?”

Yet is it any wonder I grew up seeing Christianity as simply a teaching on being good to your fellow man? I don’t remember hearing anything about what the doctrine of the Trinity was. In fact, I don’t hear Trinity sermons today at all.

How are we to live then? We are given commandments with nothing to base them on. God says not to have pre-marital sex. Why? Hmmm. I don’t know and I’m on this couch here with this girl and she’s really good-looking and I’m sweating bullets and I want this so badly……

If someone is in such a situation, then it could be that a few verses from Paul won’t stop the onslaught of hormones. We sadly know that our emotions can override our logical reasoning at times. Many of us have in some ways given in to lust, anger, pride, etc.

Christianity is more than ethics. Christianity is a belief about the whole of the universe. Maybe this is why we don’t live the Christian life. We’ve made it a set of rules instead of a whole way of seeing the world.

We are about more than fixing people. We are about truth. Yes. The church is to help you with your problems, but they are to be a bastion for truth also and to stand strong against the force of darkness.

I urge the church to fix itself. We need to get back to the teaching of truth and then to application. I do not believe we can hope to change the world if we do not return to the essential and orthodox doctrines of the faith.

When I had a friend up to stay with me recently, he bought a copy of a PS2 game called Bully. This was made by RockStar which is the same company that gave us the Grand Theft Auto games. I was a bit suspicious at first, but I found as he played this game and as I did some as well, that I quite enjoyed it.

Bully is the story of a young teenage boy named Jimmy Hopkins. At the start, one sees that he lives in a dysfunctional family where he can’t stand his step-dad and is pleased to say so. He is sent off to the school where the game takes place in order to be trasnformed from a punk kid to a fine and upstanding member of society.

<>The school is filled with several other toughs though and others that aren’t so tough as well as several lovely young ladies.  Jimmy is the newcomer on campus and as such, he’s the outsider. Several groups just want to beat him up and the ladies don’t want to give him the time of day. His goal is to become the big man on campus.

<>Along the way though, he does have to attend classes. I found many of these quite enjoyable, especially the English classes. He must work to earn money to buy the things that he needs and must help out fellow students at times.  All of this while still maintaining the school curfew. Like any action such as fighting, you get in trouble and if your trouble meter is active and a prefect finds you, you’ll be in trouble.

Not everything he does is commendable and the game can be crude at times, but I am still amazed by it. I find the simple adventures of school life taking on new meaning. Each good deed that Jimmy does is a mission and he must succeed at it. I found as I went on in the game that I did develop more empathy for the kid and I think I understood where he was coming from and saw how such a person could be transformed.

However, I also looked at my own life. Am I not on the same path? Am I not the one from the fallen family of man seeking to be transformed? Am I viewing my life as excitement despite a lot of the trials that go on? Am I pleased with my achievements as well like Jimmy is? Is there any adventure in my life.

I hope that there is, and I hope there is for you as well. Today, I suggest you open your eyes up to seeing the world as a place to explore in wonder.

I was getting ready to sign off last night when I saw something and decided I needed to talk to a friend. I IMed this friend to ask if everything was okay. While doing so, another friend I had told good night to IMed me to tell me to go on to bed, so I explained that someone else needed my help. I was told that I’d always be ready to defend the faith eh?

<> This one wasn’t defending really. This was affirming the truth we already know. I think we all need that. I need it. You need it. We all need to be reminded of the truth of the gospel. Martin Luther once said that he was just another beggar telling other beggars where he found bread.

I told this friend that this is my work. I got a surprised response to that since I don’t professionally work in that area. My answer is that ministry that I do is not just a thing you do from time to time. It’s not just something I do at church or on the internet. Ministry is a life.

I am always ready to minister at any time.  If someone needs a listening ear, I am there. If someone needs an answer, I am there. If someone is attacking the faith and needs to be stopped, I am there. This is the way it is. This is also the only way I would have it to be. I am simply doing what I can to change the world one soul at a time.

I sometimes think many of us have secret identities we carry around with us. I try to see my life as an adventure. Then I’ll see some evil taking place or someone in need of some comfort or some objection being raised against the faith and realize that it’s time to step up and fight.

Do I hope to enter a professional minstry position someday? Of course I do. However, until that day comes, I am still a fighter for this cause. I am still one who is always ready to give help. I was even thinking last night of all the situations in which I would give help if I had to. How far would I go?

I thought an example might one day be that I could be on my honeymoon with a beautiful lady. Now rest assured, we all know how couples want to spend it. We’d be in some city walking around and then wanting to head back to our room when something would happen and I’d realize someone was in need. As much as I know what I’d want then, I really hope I’d stop and say, “We can’t do nothing. This person needs our help.”

In Israel, from what I understand, the nation’s army can be ready for war in two hours. I believe we are in a far more important war and should be ready at any time. There are several casualties taking place. Listen to that person talking to you. They may be in a harder spot than you realize.

And friends, do remember that while I am glad to minister, there will be many times I need to be ministered to. There can be many nights when I think I have given of myself and need a recharge.  I would say this is true of anyone in ministry. Be thankful for these people and be there. You don’t know how much it means to be ministered to by someone when you are in ministry.

Ministry is, however, my life’s work. I may not be paid, but no matter where I am, I am to minister, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve said in my blog that I have been going through Final Fantasy VI Advance. I had had a good conversation today and I felt energized as I went out into the world for my evening shopping.

A surprising fact struck me as I went into the grocery store. In Final Fantasy VI, when a new character is introduced that will be part of the party, you get a brief snippet poetically describing that character.

I thought about that seeing different people in the store. Maybe that girl standing at the counter watching the world go by will play a part. Maybe that father walking down the aisle with his son will play a part in my story. Maybe that lady in the cereal aisle has a role to play.

I thought about this as I thought about the adventure of life. Music played in my head the whole time of wandering towns in different games I’ve played picturing myself as part of an epic story that was taking place.

Indeed, that is what is going on. It may be a simple trip down the street, but adventure is taking place. When I checked out even, I looked at the name tags of the people ringing me up. These aren’t faceless individuals. These people have names. They have a story going on as well.

Now I only know my own story internally, but it is not separate from your story. Your story exists just as much as mine does. Our stories are all being connected. A great author is working on them.

With the rise of the internet, the author seems to be connecting more and more of us. Books connect me to authors all around the world that I could never meet in person. Across time as well I am connected with Plato and Boethius and Augustine and so many others.

Then I look on my life and wonder what difference I’ll make. I might seem like just a spot in the space-time continuum now, but if multiple spots of light unite, the whole world could be lit.

Go ahead. Live the adventure, and join with others. Let’s go on this journey together!