Is there a task of the Christian husband that only he can do? Let’s talk about it on Deeper Waters.
I love doing apologetics. It really lights up my day. There is a great joy in getting to enter the arena of debate. There is a fascination about learning all that you can do and being able to walk with confidence in your worldview having done the sufficient study. There are extremely exciting times when the truth of your worldview really hits you and it ends in rejoicing. There’s something special about getting to help someone out of doubt. Of course, being an apologist has many struggles, but it has many blessings.
But I also know that I’m not the only one doing this. There are thousands of others out there in the world doing what I do. We all have to work together as we all have one common goal. That common goal is that we are to defend the faith once and for all delivered to the saints and we are to affirm Christianity to a world in need of the gospel.
If I was seriously incapacitated for a time, I know several other people who I could count on who would be willing to do blog posts for me here if need be. That would be no problem. I know others would be doing the debating. That would be no problem. I could find someone else who could host my show for the time being. That would be no problem.
Yet there is a work that I have (And work is not the best term to use still) that no one else out there can do.
No one else can be a husband to Allie.
Allie and I have lately been going through Love and Respect, which I checked out at the library for us. We read a chapter every night and it’s being a firm reminder to me on how I need to be a better husband. I did disagree with something said last night in asking who should make the first move. Should the wife be more respectful or should the husband be more loving? The real answer to that question is “Yes.”
Who makes the first move? Irrelevant. The fact is as soon as you learn what you need to do, you move. A wife should always be seeking to grow more in respect of her husband. A husband should always be seeking to grow in love for his wife.
And so I’ve been reading this book and getting convicted more and more on how I need to be more loving than I am, (And Allie already does consider me a very loving husband) and this is especially so because no one else can do this job. Allie’s parents can love her as parents. Her in-laws can love her as in-laws. Her brother can love her as a brother. Her friends can love her as friends.
None of those relationships is like the one that she has with me.
I am the one who is to sleep by her side every night. I am the one who is to present her before the throne on the day of judgment to see how I’ve done with my family. I am the one who is to provide for her. I am the one who is to protect her from harm. I am the one who takes her to the hospital or doctor if she’s sick.
Now some things others can do to an extent. Other people can listen when she has problems for instance, and they should. Others can handle doctor trips if need be at times, but there will definitely be no replacements for things like, say, kissing my wife every morning before I get out of bed. Sorry guys, but no one else gets that privilege and she’s not accepting applications anyway.
I have told many men in my field that if you go out there and you be the best apologist that you can be and answer every question and have every opponent quaking at the thought of having to deal with you, but you fail with your wife, then I count you as a failure overall. Spouse comes before work and career.
If you know me on Facebook, it’s even why I started a group today on there for Christian men who are married or plan to get married so we could come and help one other to fulfill the calling that we have to be good husbands to our wives.
Marriage is being under attack from the world today and it’s of utmost importance that we defend it. We cannot truly defend it unless we are truly living it. One of the best ways to get people to honor marriage today is if we seek to honor it more ourselves.
People in any kind of ministry, please remember that you do not have to save the world of everyone else, but you are to save the world of your wife. You are the greatest hero she has and your first priority will be to her. Let others take the slack in ministry if need be and count on them to help you, but make sure she knows she can count on you to love her properly.
In Christ,
Nick Peters