Tag: aspergers

Meals

How about eating on the spectrum? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Many people on the spectrum have issues with food. Some of us have issues with texture. Some of us have issues with looks. It’s a bizarre thing. I only eat foods that I can eat with my bare hands and even then, I am really limited.

So what happens if you combine those foods with social gatherings?

To give an example, let’s talk about a big event on my Louisiana campus every year. Crawfest. Ah yes. All these people get together to eat these messy things that I can’t even stand the sight of and it’s so much fun for everyone.

Unless you’re someone on the spectrum but you go because you know you need to be social and who knows but that you might meet someone you really like there and could date and marry. Yeah. I don’t go for the food.

But while I’m there it’s awful. Last time I was wearing a hooded jacket and just sat and put the hood over my head. I couldn’t stand to look even. When I get in these situations, it’s the same way Clark Kent reacts to kryptonite.

Last Thanksgiving, being away from home, a professor invited me to his house with some other students and staff for Thanksgiving. I told him I would come, and I did, but to please not ask me to eat anything or offer me anything. To the best that I can recall, he didn’t do that.

Any time I have had to go to an event like this, it has been something that I have dreaded that aspect of and honestly, I cannot really tell you why. It’s just the way that I am.

Back when I was engaged to my now ex-wife, I recall well going to an event where we were going to meet some donors to my then seminary. I figured these people could also someday be donors to Deeper Waters so we went together. Things were going well until some servers came by and came to me and said “And what would you like sir?”

Deer caught in the headlights.

Until I felt a hand on my leg and I heard her say “He’s not having anything. He’s finicky, but he’s fine.”

I can tell you my ex-wife had more success changing my diet than anyone else did. Strange power women possess indeed.

So when you have a friend who is on the spectrum, be aware of any food sensitivities they might have. They might have none. My friend Evan Minton who is on the spectrum has zero issues here. I have plenty of them. It’s always best to go in knowing.

Also, if we do have something, don’t make a big deal out of it. I remember going to a Bible study event once at the house of some friends and this happened. It was incredibly embarrassing to me and I was depressed the whole evening. Weird? Yes, but that’s life on the spectrum for you.

Meals may be great for you and how you bond, but for the person on the spectrum, it could be the opposite.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Parties

How do you handle a party? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

As a gamer, of course I love a party! How else are you going to overcome the evil? You need your party of adventurers to come together and form a team and then go out together fighting alongside each other to…..wait. Why are you shaking your head? Oh! You mean the other kind of party!

So yesterday, I had to have a dental extraction done. Towards the end of the day, I figured I needed to go to the campus social event. A friend of mine once told me that I should do this also because as a single guy, it would be a great way to get to meet someone special.

That being said, parties are difficult. You go and you watch all these other people together doing things and you don’t know what it is that you’re supposed to be doing. It seems like everyone else just understands how you interact and you don’t have a clue how to.

Imagine if you were invited to play a game and everyone else knew the rules of

the game and you didn’t.

Now I can talk to someone I know, but then after that, what do you do? How long do you talk? What do you talk about? I just don’t know. If there’s a food section there, I understand people mean well, but it’s awkward when after awhile people ask “Do you not want to get anything?” No. If I did, I would have. Food situations make me nervous.

I talked to a friend of mine who is not on the spectrum once, but does tend to be an introvert, and he told me the way he sums up parties. You go to one saying “I hope no one talks to me.” Then when you leave you’re left saying “Why didn’t anyone talk to me?”

I push myself for this kind of event, and I always try to stay a little bit longer than I really like. If I kind find a game that I can play, that can kind of help. So why is it difficult?

To return to the gaming analogy, unwritten rules. People seem to come together and form groups and people like myself don’t really know how to do that. We don’t really have a social circle all that much. My social circle is different in that I have several individuals that I can talk to and I usually go and talk to them individually.

So now how does this come to application? If you know someone on the spectrum and they’re open to it, help them out. Introduce them to people and if they say something, that could be something remarkable that you’re missing out on. Not that the content is remarkable, though it might be, but it could be something that they’re willing to open up and to share with you anything at all. Maybe they can blossom right in front of you.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Vagueness

Can we be clear? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

“Just take the red ink and put a good amount in there.”

So my boss said to me at the Post Office I work at when filling the stamp that we use to postmark. Turns out, I did too much. My idea of filling up wasn’t the same as hers and I guess I wanted to make sure it was sufficient.

“Just put some oil in the frying pan and put the fish on top.”

So said my mother in trying to teach me how to fix salmon and/or tilapia at home. Well, that didn’t work well. One of my neighbors came over yesterday with her husband and said, “Yes. You don’t line the pan with oil. You just put in a couple of spoons.”

Vague terms are hard for me. I need to go by specifics. I have only recently come to learn this about myself on the spectrum. Looking at it though, I looked back and realized that many times my mother when I was sick would ask me how I was feeling. The question often irritated me. How do you state that? What do you say? Feelings aren’t really definite like that be they emotional or physical.

If I have an assignment, I will usually ask “How many sources do I need?” or “How long does the paper need to be?” I am not looking for the bare minimum. I am looking for something that I can easily quantify.

It could be one reason that I love numbers so much. Numbers make sense and are easy really. They fit into a simple formula. You do A. You get B. I am taking symbolic logic this semester and at times, the material can be tricky, but once I get the formulae, I’m there. It makes sense.

As I’m thinking about this now, it’s probably one reason time matters so much to me. I usually try to arrive early for things and I follow a strict regimen with it. I take a shower at the same time. I go to bed at the same time. I get on my computer at the same time. That’s also something with order which I plan to write on soon.

It can also be one reason why in relationships, I can often times need an assurance on where things stand. I can’t understand your body language and if something seems inconsistent, it’s a problem for me. Generally, I will tend to think that someone is not wanting to be around me if that happens. I fortunately have friends who have been clear even saying that if they are ever upset with me, that they will let me know. That’s really assuring.

Why do I say all of this? Because if you are dealing with someone on the spectrum, it could be appreciated if you are really clear with what you are saying. Speak in clear terms that are definitive and to the point. It is a help to all of us.

In Christ
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Don’t Touch

Is a touch always welcome? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

“And how would you like to respond when someone pats you on the back and you don’t want that?” my therapist asks me.

“Ideally, with a judo throw across the room.”

It would certainly get the point across!

Touch is a very important matter. If you can have a hard time with someone you don’t know saying words to you, touch can go a step further. Naturally, we all know there are ways that you shouldn’t touch certain people that are definitely inappropriate. That tells us that touch is nothing simple. It’s important and can convey a message.

When people ask my love languages, I tell them I have found them to be words of affirmation and physical touch. I tell a story on the latter about how when I was engaged to my ex-wife, we went to an event at SES that was to get donors. I told her we should go because if I’m in ministry, I could need to know these donors as well.

So we’re at a table before anything has been brought out laughing and sharing with the people and then the servers come by. They come to my table and say to me “And what will you have sir?”

At that point, it was just me and him in the world. I was a deer caught in the headlights. I was in absolute terror. I don’t want anything. This is a social situation. This is giving me anxiety. What do I do? What do I say?

Then I feel a warm hand under the table on my leg.

“He’s not having anything, but he’s fine. He’s just finicky.”

That touch meant so much. Throughout my marriage, I came to love that touch. It is still something I miss.

Even still, there are some exceptions. Sometimes when I go back to see my folks, my mother wants to clean my glasses and will attempt to take them off of my face on her own. I always resist this. This is something I wouldn’t even let my ex-wife do.

As I think about it, it can be that while I love words of affirmation so much, words of condemning are extremely hurtful. In the same way, if touch I want is cherished, touch I don’t want is rejected. It is crossing a boundary.

I know people mean well by it, but I wince whenever I’m walking through a crowd and someone wants to be friendly and pats me on the back. Not only do I not like that, but keep in mind I have a steel rod on my spine. That’s sensitive.

Sometimes, I have told people to just not touch me. I am now thinking to tell them to wait. I need to get to a place of trust with someone before I trust them. At the same time, there are times I think I do need some friendly touch. I just want to make sure it is from people I can fully consider friends.

Be careful with people in the spectrum in your life. Just because you think a touch can be loving doesn’t mean they will receive it as loving. It can never hurt to ask something like “Can I give you a hug?”

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

I Hate Small Talk

What is the bane of existing? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Seriously. I hate small talk. I want nothing to do with it.

I have some friends who are a husband and wife and both of them are on the spectrum. When we call one another, it’s because one of us has a problem and wants the other’s help. Thus, we call and we immediately jump straight to whatever the situation is. There’s no “How are you?” or anything like that. Now if the other is struggling with something, we might message later on Facebook asking how they’re holding up knowing what the situation is, but it’s never said in the area of small talk.

You know what so many of us hate about it? It’s fake. People say things and they don’t mean it. “How are you?” I have had people say that to me and keep just walking on by. It tells me they don’t really care. Besides, on a bad day for me, I doubt anyone would want to hear me talk about what I am dealing with that day.

I have a therapist here and in discussing the matter with him, something we came to the conclusion of is with me, I replace small talk with humor. When people come to the Post Office, I try to make them laugh. You all probably don’t know what a joy it is when people come and I’m talking with them and I can tell they’re genuinely laughing at my antics.

When a customer comes in who doesn’t know me and tries to engage in small talk, I tend more to freeze than anything else. I have no idea what to say. Sometimes I even have a hard time verbalizing a hi. Again, this can get people to think you’re rude, which is a sad aspect of the way it works.

Getting back to the fakeness of small talk, that’s what makes it so difficult. In my world, I keep looking around to find people who are real. There is a sort of loyalty level I have with people and I give them trust based on how I see them on that level. There are some areas I don’t trust some people with and some areas I do trust other people with.

That depends in part on how real people can be. If you ask me how I’m doing and you don’t really care, it is really saddening. That’s also because like anyone else, we do want people who really do care about us. One of the best ways to do that is not to try small talk, but real talk. Find out what really interests us. Ask us questions that aren’t generalities but can definitively be answered.

For me, I want to talk about subject matter and if I go to someone and I’m just trying to talk about that and not using humor even, that could indicate a different sort of relationship. Like all people, I have aspects of my personality that not even I understand in how I relate to people. Yet of all those ways, small talk is not one of them.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Verbalizing

Can we all speak? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

One of the aspects you find of people on the spectrum is some are said to be non-verbal. I say said to be because there have been cases of people who are on the spectrum and yet when they are alone around horses, they are observed to speak. We could also say some people do speak through the medium of the internet which means they express themselves through typing, but not through orality.

I am obviously one of those who is verbal. I am a public speaker and many of you have seen me speak and even debate. At the same time, I can be exceptionally shy and introverted. I like what Hugh Ross said once and even if you consider yourself a YEC, I urge you to really listen to this. He is also on the spectrum and has said he would rather speak to 100 people instead of to one.

One of my requirements is going door-to-door doing evangelism once a week when regular classes are in session. We don’t have anyone go individually and I never initiate. I generally wait and see if I can get an opening and jump something in. If it’s an intellectual conversation, I can usually do it very well and then I’m quite animated, but when it comes to personal communication, I struggle with strangers.

Never mind also that I consider much of our evangelism is done wrongly. We have too much of an emphasis on going to Heaven when you die as if that’s the point. I much more prefer to speak of Jesus being the king and we need to get in line with Him. Other than that, I’m watching a conversation go on and wondering what I can say and it seems like people already know what’s going on and how to speak.

I recall one time my then roommate and I went to a Kingdom Hall where Jehovah’s Witnesses meet as we had had some visiting us who asked us to attend. In the end, we got lovebombed as I describe it where people swarmed around us wanting to meet us. This was a horrid situation for me. So one of them comes to me and takes my hand and introduces themselves. I’m standing there in total disarray with everything going on and I hear my roommate say “Say your name.”

Now understand, I know I needed to do this. I knew what social etiquette required of me, but as is said, knowing is half the battle. It’s an important half, but half still. However, I can say his saying that gave me the necessary jumpstart I needed.

Many times if I’m in public, I just don’t speak a lot if it’s someone I don’t know. I work at the campus Post Office and if someone walks by with mail they want to mail and plan to put it in the slot, I will reach out my hand. I find it difficult to say “I’ll take that.” When I go to the grocery store and I need to get a barrier to separate my order from the next, I can’t say it. I wind up pointing wildly trying to get their attention.”

I never seem to.

If I don’t speak to you, it’s because I don’t have that form of trust with you yet. Many times, I still would prefer to speak non-verbally if I can. I do enjoy speaking at times as one thing people learn about me often is I love to say things to make people laugh.

Also, sometimes if people ask me vague questions (“How are you? The question I hate the most.) I don’t know how to answer. I have heard people speak about me supposedly under my breath as if I was rude. It is not my intention to be rude. I find many people who stress on people being polite so much are often some of the rudest ones that I meet. I don’t answer because I don’t know what to say. It’s not a goal to be rude.

Please remember if you meet someone who is quiet that it could be they are on the spectrum. There is no desire to be rude. Being Miss Manners around them won’t help. It only makes it harder.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Why Autism Awareness Month Matters To Me

Why do I care about this month? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I hate it when June comes around. It’s a time when we try to celebrate what I consider perversion, as if it’s not forced down my throat the rest of the year. I notice when black history month rolls around or women’s history month or any other month by a group that is deemed politically relevant, everyone tries to speak at that time. Everyone wants to virtue signal.

April, I get crickets.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be a political pawn. I don’t want people to acknowledge this month just because they’re trying to show how virtuous they are without the substance. I despise fake.

I’m also not at all wanting to call this a pride month. Being on the spectrum is not an accomplishment in itself. Now what I do in overcoming the hurdles, that can be an accomplishment, but the fact I have a condition doesn’t make me automatically special.

What I do consider it is a chance to invite others into my own world and let them know what it’s like. I recall a time a friend contacted me when he found out his son was on the spectrum. Everyone else he talked to treated it like a cancer diagnosis. I told him to be thankful immediately. He was going to see the world through a whole new set of ideas he had never seen before.

What a shock that that was the best word that he heard and it has proven to be true.

This month can be special because people do realize that some of us are different. Some of us do have extra hurdles to overcome. We don’t want to be babied as we overcome them, but we welcome those who come alongside us and help us on the journey.

I’m a gamer. You know that. I think of having a party in a quest. In Final Fantasy XIV, as an example, when you go into a dungeon, you have your tank. This is the guy who takes all the hard hits and draws the attention of the enemies. Then you have the healers. These are the ones who keep the tank and everyone else alive. Finally, you have the damage dealers. These are the ones who defeat the enemies for the most part.

A party without one of these units will not survive. A party all one type of unit will not survive. You need a full party. You need everyone to do their part. I have my part I can do, but I’m thrilled to have other people join me who have strengths where I am weak.

That’s why I prefer the term awareness. It’s just saying to notice that some people are different, and that’s okay. I realize not everyone is high-functioning. That’s also okay. I do have a gift in that way in that I can speak for others. I’m glad to do it.

Also, keep in mind that sadly a lot of people on the spectrum are atheists and agnostics because so much Christian language is hard to relate to and abstract concepts can be hard to think about. Please keep this in mind. Pray for the Autism community. We need Jesus just as much as the neurotypicals do.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Things To Understand

What are some things I wish people knew about life on the spectrum? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Life on the spectrum is exciting for me, but sometimes, I know I seem odd in public. These are things I wish people knew more about me. Note that this is just me on the spectrum. Many things could apply to others on the spectrum or they might not apply to some at all. When you meet one person, you’ve met one person.

First off, if anything here is truly something that needs to change, consider autism an explanation. It is not always a justification.

Eye contact is hard. If I’m not looking in your eyes, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. If I am in such a situation, I mentally have to tell myself to look in someone’s eyes and even then, it’s a strain.

If I seem to be doing something else, it doesn’t mean I am not paying attention to you. My former in-laws found this out once when I visited them and I was playing my 3DS and they thought I wasn’t paying attention, until they found out I could repeat everything they said back to them. If anything, many times, this can be help me focus better.

This also helps if I attend a talk somewhere. If I am in the audience and on my phone, I am actually hearing what you say. This helps me to better pay attention. If I’m not, I can easily have my mind wander away and miss everything.

I am not an emotional person, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I can have happiness and joy, but I can also have sorrow and loss. I can also have anxiety at times and I don’t know why.

Some social situations are very stressful to me. I can go to a function where several people get together and we’re supposed to socialize, especially over food. It’s really hard for me. Please understand that. Also, please don’t ask me if I want to get anything. If I wanted to, I would have.

Please don’t ask me a question like “How are you?” I am sure you mean well, but it’s a vague question and I don’t know how much you want to know. I would prefer a simple “Hello,” instead.

I am sure you mean well, but if I don’t know you and trust you well enough, please don’t touch me. I especially hate it when people touch my back due to my steel rod. I can like touch at times, but someone has to be at the place where I can trust them and that is a place that is earned. However, if you ask, I could be more open.

I am an introvert, but even I sometimes like to be around other people. Loneliness is very real, especially when you’ve been divorced. I could want to do something with you more than you realize.

I would rather speak to a crowd of 100 people than to speak to one stranger face-to-face. The internet has been a gift as it has helped me find a voice to talk to people I normally wouldn’t get to. Even when I do evangelism for class, I normally need someone else to initiate conversation.

Speaking of such, your experience of Christianity and mine are very different. Most modern praise choruses I find simply shallow. Give me the old classic hymns, especially “Holy, Holy, Holy.” Don’t tell me about an experience of Christianity as I don’t find many concepts, such as the leading of the Holy Spirit, taught in Scripture.

Understand I will often take your language literally. Be careful with what you say. Sometimes, I do this to be humorous, but many times, I honestly don’t understand how you’re speaking.

I speak sarcasm fluently, but I’m often horrible at recognizing it.

Sometimes I need assurances things are okay between us. I don’t often know where you stand based on your body language. I often can wonder if I have offended you and be concerned about it.

In a conversation, I could be often trying to figure out everything you’re saying in every way and if it’s not a concept I’m familiar with, I can lag. I’m trying to interpret many signals at once I don’t understand. If I seem to bounce back to an earlier point, that’s why.

I find jokes funny constantly and they never stop. If I have a running joke with you, you are in a very good position. If I normally joke with you and I suddenly stop without any apparent reason, there is a reason. I joke more with people I feel safe around.

I have my personal obsessions. I can go on endlessly with you talking about Smallville and I know my video games exceptionally well, but I’m also as readers of this blog obviously know a fanatic when it comes to theology, philosophy, history, economics, etc. There are many areas I like to learn about always.

Friends mean so much to me. To have people I can rely on around me is an immense relief. When people show me they’re thinking about me, it’s incredible. It tells me I am not out of sight and out of mind.

I will often speak wordlessly. Sometimes the words are there, but it’s like there’s a mental block in my head that I can’t get past. This can often be seen as rude when I am silent, but it is not my intention. It really stings when I hear people speaking when they think I can’t hear about me being rude.

I get nervous in food situations. That’s my side of the spectrum. If I’m around people I don’t know well enough and there’s a meal going on, it gets me nervous. I tend to avoid church gatherings centered around a meal. If I visit and don’t eat anything, it’s not my trying to be rude. It’s just uncomfortable for me and I’m extremely finicky anyway.

Speaking of friends from earlier, I’m extremely loyal to mine. I want to do everything I can to help you out. One reason I want to get a lady in my life is I love getting to adore someone.

Many people on the spectrum have various habits that they do. I tend to hum video game music. It’s something that gives me a sense of adventure in my life.

I like things to be orderly. I run on a tight schedule. Generally, I will take a shower at 7 every night. I will turn off my games two hours before bed, be on my computer doing work for the next hour, and then spend the next hour before turning out the light playing some light games on my Kindle as well as a little light reading.

I honestly don’t notice many things like hygiene. If I miss a spot shaving, that’s why. Even when I’m doing that kind of thing, I have to keep my mind occupied and I’m usually reading a book at the same time.

Vague terms don’t make sense to me. I’ve recently found this out as now it makes sense why when I was sick as a child and my mother would ask “How do you feel today?” I never knew what to say exactly. Give me something specific I can work with.

If you want to get into my world easier, speak about my interests. It’s a great way to open me up.

If you come forward wanting to immediately be my friend and are really extroverted, I will be wary of you immediately.

I am capable of a lot more than you realize. When you try to tell me I am not capable of something when I am convinced that I am, you just increase my drive all the more. Telling me I am not just means you don’t believe in me to me. It means so much when people believe in me and invest in me.

If you must correct me on something, be gentle and please let me know we’re okay at the end. That assurance means a lot. At the same time, I’m not a child. It’s a fine line, but we can find it together.

That’s a lot, but one more thing to understand…..

I am also in the image of God just as you are. I happen to love my Christian walk and I see Jesus as my king and try to serve Him to the best of my ability. I consider my autism a gift as it allows Christ to shine through in my weaknesses all the more when the world said I wouldn’t succeed at all.

There are plenty of other people on the spectrum. Like I said, some of what I said will apply to them. Some won’t. Get to know the person you’re dealing with. We’re all individuals.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Book Plunge: Our Socially Awkward Marriage

What do I think of Tom and Linda Peters’s book published by Brookside Press? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I saw this book in an email I got last night for discount books on Kindle. Seeing as it was about marriage and about Aspergers, I bought it immediately. Being on the spectrum myself, I was curious how much I could relate to.

The book is a quick read and a humorous read. Every section could be read at in the most, five minutes. You could go through and just read one section a day, but seeing as I’m writing a review of it, you know I didn’t do that.

A number of entries in here are pretty amusing. One that really sticks with me is with Linda getting frustrated with their teenage son leaving behind dirty dishes and as she prepares to go out somewhere says “Can you show him how the dishwasher works?” When she comes back, Tom and the son are watching TV and the dirty dishes are still there.

She wants to know why Tom didn’t do what she asked and he says he did. He took the boy over and explained all about how the dishwasher works. Linda is indeed a patient and understanding wife. She knew she couldn’t be mad. Tom wasn’t trying to be a jerk or find a loophole. He just heard her say “Explain how it works. As far as he was concerned, he did what he was told.

Stories like this are humorous and I remember growing up with a lot of literalness in my hearing what people said, though I have come to better understand people. Still, I sometimes do something like this just for fun. When I moved into my seminary apartment, a kind husband and wife helped me do so. The next day they had arranged to have a loveseat delivered and when it came, the wife said “Send me a picture of your apartment!”

I knew darn well what she meant, but well, the picture I sent her is a picture of my apartment, but not what she had in mind.

However, in the book in the midst of a lot of the silliness, there is some understanding. For example, sometimes tensions can rise up when one of them is hungry and the solution is to just get a snack and then come back and discuss the problem. Tom is a low-key guy with his emotions, but sometimes they do get out of hand and he needs to vent. He also hates being in a large crowd of people.

Yet there is also the lesson of learning to love someone quirks and all. After all, even if you are not on the spectrum as I am, you have your quirks. There are things you do that don’t make sense, and they might not even make sense to you. Autism can bring its own share of quirks too, but those of us on the spectrum want to be loved just like anyone else does.

If I would change anything here, I would like to see more on what their marriage is like overall. What is it like on a date night? How did Tom behave on the first date? What was it like for Linda to learn about her husband? These are questions I wanted to know about. Maybe they’ll be covered in a future book.

But for now, this is a good quick read if you’re interested in this area and I hope you will get a few good laughs out of it and some lessons about acceptance of one another too.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

To The Aspie Who Became A Deist

What do you say to someone who thinks God has dealt them a bad hand? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I was going to write more about going to seminary, but a friend messaged this to me this morning and I think it is more important. I tried to find the original, but I could not. Here is a screenshot of what was shared.

To the person who said this, I get where you’re coming from to an extent. I get that there are difficulties with being on the spectrum. I get it when people talk around me and I wonder how they notice the social cues that I am missing or if they are being sarcastic or mean what they say. I get wondering what it is that people really think about you.

You see, I do realize there are aspects that are difficult in my life too being on the spectrum. I have a refrigerator that doesn’t have a lot in it and it’s not mainly because of economic reasons, but because my diet is limited on the spectrum. I only eat foods I can eat with my hands and for me, the thought of a social get-together involving eating can be a nightmare many times.

I get the obsessiveness. I understand what it’s like to be so enthused about a topic and have people around you not really care. I also understand how hard it is when people put down your interests.

I also get what it’s like to not focus so well. I understand that in a classroom I have to have a laptop on or my mind drifts away and I don’t hear anything that is said. I understand having to have my phone with me during a talk or else the same thing happens and I zone out entirely.

I understand the fear of approaching people, especially for myself, the fairer sex. I understand sometimes that loneliness can be a real thing. You want deeply to be understood and accepted and you don’t know who around you is genuine and who isn’t.

I’m not saying these are all your experiences. I don’t know. We’re all different on the spectrum, but I hope somewhere you can relate to what I have said.

However, I want you to know so much that I value the gifts that I have been given, and a great start in my life is parents and a sister who love me and have always encouraged me to succeed. My family built in me a drive to succeed. As a gamer also, I developed a longing to take part in the battle of good versus evil. I developed a drive to win.

My folks were told early on that I would never graduate high school even. I would never go to college. I would never drive a car. I would never get married. So many things. This is what the experts in the field were saying.

My mother tells me when I went to middle school, there was concern because there were steps to go from one floor to the next and I really don’t like staircases. They took me to the school when it was empty so I could learn. My mother tells me I said, “Mom. I have to do this.” I did it.

I did graduate from the public school system. I have been told I was the first person in Knox County on the spectrum to do this. I did go on to college. Later on, I moved out to an apartment about 20 minutes away from my parents. I wanted to go to seminary in the next state over and they needed to know I could do it. By the way, I was indeed driving in all of this as I had a job regularly.

I moved away and into an apartment with my best friend and lived with him for awhile. While with him though, I met a girl and got married. Readers of my blog know that after ten years, that ended in divorce, but I have praise from many others on being a thoroughly devoted husband.

And now where am I at? Remember, I’m the autistic kid who would never do anything? I’m about 600 miles away from my parents. I live in New Orleans attending New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and I am working on my Master’s. I live in an apartment where it’s me and my cat.

Do I have struggles? Yep. There’s the financial struggles which is why I’m seeking better income and also why I am sharing my Patreon more in the hopes of getting more support. There’s the struggle with being a good housekeeper. I suck at cleaning. I just never find the time for that kind of thing. There’s also learning to relate to people.

Fortunately around here, I do meet many people who within a month’s time already know me by name and seem genuinely happy to see me. I have no reason to think it’s fake. I definitely still want a lady in my life, but overall, I’m doing good.

However, most important, I owe this all to Christ. Without my Christian faith, I would not have made it where I am today. You can say you think God has dealt you a bad hand, but it could just be God knows you’re a really good player and you could play that hand for good more than anyone else could.

In light of all the difficulties, I love the positives more. I love being able to think on levels most people don’t. I love being able to recall numerous quotes and facts about my field of apologetics. I love being able to do complex math in my head and get to amaze people with my trick where I tell them what day of the week they were born on when I hear their birthday. I love getting to play games with people and be really good at it.

I don’t understand being happier when God doesn’t care about you. I am thoroughly angry about the people who told you God would help you when it was time, as if you had a cancer treatment or something and was just sitting in Heaven saying, “No. I want to make you suffer more.” Of course, God does bring about suffering in our lives sometimes, but it’s never for the sake of suffering. It’s so we can be even stronger because of it.

I understand not wanting to sing his praises every Sunday. That kind of thing is a struggle for me as most praise songs I hear seem shallow. For me, praise is done in the study of my academics and in enjoying the life that God gave me. It is expressing gratitude for my friends and my family and yes, my little kitty.

My Aspergers is not a death sentence. If anything, I have reached the point where I hope in eternity when I stand before God, I will still in some way be an Aspie. I consider it overall a gift. I understand not everyone does and I’m not telling them to see it that way.

I am telling you though that if Christianity is true, every ounce of suffering that you go through in life can be redeemed. Nothing is wasted. I’m not going to say anything to you about God having a plan for your life. I don’t treat such claims seriously. The plan God has for your life is ultimately easy. God’s plan is to conform you to the likeness of Christ.

I urge you to reconsider what you have decided on. Instead, look at the evidence for something like the resurrection of Jesus. See if Christianity is true. Knowing my faith is true is a great blessing to me and I enjoy being a part of God’s story. I enjoy the adventure of living everyday in the world He created.

And not only that, but all the struggles that I have, there are other people that can help me. I found someone I can hire, for example, to come over regularly and give my apartment a deep clean. That helps. I have friends here who can help me in other areas, including my relationships with women, and I’m working on starting up gaming groups right here on campus. I am also already winning the favor of my professors and others. Overall, life is good.

Again, I don’t know you, but if you do read this and want to reach out, I’m open to talk. I always hope the church can do more for people on the spectrum. Your story is one that I hope will stay in my mind as I work to make the church more disability friendly as well.

Please do reconsider. You are loved by God regardless of how you feel or what hand you think you have been dealt. There is hope.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)