Is your protection seriously killing you? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.
When we are going through the silence of God, we need to ask if it’s really God being silent or us just not really allowing any message of His love to come through. One way we can all do this by building up walls. This is especially so after people who we trust hurt us. For some people, the natural tendency is to hide away. Since we have been hurt, then we have to protect ourselves and that is the time that protective walls come up. It makes sense to us at the time, but on the other end, it can also keep us from being receptive to any love whatsoever, because that love seems like a threat.
Imagine a walled city. In the time of the Bible, this would be common. Today, a walled city wouldn’t make much sense due to airplanes being able to fly over and techniques of that sort. No city would want to put up with having to have walls for defense that speedy motorists would have to go in and out of on a regular basis. Yet in the past, this made sense. There would be gates in the walls as well because walls don’t mean everyone in wants to always stay in and that everyone out wants to always stay out. The walls are lowered when the time of trade comes upon you.
Unfortunately, we often think in extremes and when we put those walls up, we seriously put them up because no one is going to get into this city. NO ONE! It is when we do that that we suddenly wonder why we don’t feel any of the love in our lives that we should feel. The reason is that we do not really want to. We are being restrictive and insisting that the rest of the world, including God, show up on our terms.
Please understand that when I say this, I am not saying that all walls are a problem. Some people you should not be exposed to. You do not go and wear your heart on your sleeve to everyone. What you do is learn discernment. This is something that takes time, and even with people you trust, you do not tell everything. Sometimes you might not tell not because of lack of trust, but because such a person has no reason to know. Someone might be your best friend for instance who you could trust irrevocably, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to hear all the details of what goes on in your bedroom with your spouse for instance. (And I’m quite certain in many cases, they just don’t want to know.)
My recommendation?
Find those people who have a proven track record of loving you. If you have a hard time with God right now, start with your spouse if you have one. They should be the first one you turn to. Next, go to family, and the closer the family member is such as mother or father or brother or sister, the better. Then go with really close friends who have stood by you and seen you at your best and worst and never given any indication of doing wrong to you. You could also at this point seek out a skilled and able therapist who can help you with your issues. If the case is severe in fact, a counselor could be imperative.
If you need to also, check with a psychiatrist and a physician. I know a lot of Christians are hesitant to use medication to help with moods like depression and other conditions, but these are real chemical imbalances and I see no difference between taking a drug for a mental imbalance and taking a drug for a physical imbalance in the system. Of course, such medication should only be taken with the help of a trained professional and only on his prescription.
And if you’re hesitant to God, try to always be open and when you’re ready for that first step, take it little by little. God is always there and He is always waiting. From then on, learn the proper discernment. Not just who you are to lower the walls to, but when you are to lower them as well. This takes time and this takes work, but this is something we all have to learn.
In Christ,
Nick Peters